Findin' Me

The coolest perspective came a few weeks ago... this whole findin' my ore adventure might not have anything to do with finding my eternal companion.

I think it has been about finding myself.

I feel a am a very different person than I was four years ago. Thanks to everything that has happened in my life, most of which has been cataloged on this here blog. Those experiences are the catalyst for helping me to change. I feel I am a better daughter, sister, aunt, friend, and disciple of Jesus Christ. It feels pretty good to know that we can change and become better people. I humbly recognize that I wasn't able to change on my own though. Change took the Lord teaching me in every moment He could. Change came because He is patient with me and has taught me to be more patient with myself. Making mistakes is to be human and live; living a life where we are allowed to make mistakes is a beautiful gift. I humbly recognize that change has come by trying to align my will with the Lords. I recognize He really does know best in regards to EVERYTHING. No really, He does. I have countless stories, especially over the past four years that prove that.

I have found that by trying to sacrifice myself, my time, my talents, and everything that the Lord has given me He has allowed me to truly find myself; a self that by now knowing I don't want to let go of.

Here is to His help in continually Findin' Me. 

The end of my first semester at the UofA

Finals were so hard!!! And I was sooooooooooooooo thankful the day they were done. I loved all of my classes (art history was that love hate relationship, but with perspective I'm realizing I definitely loved it more than hated it). I finished out the semester with a 3.4 GPA. I got the grades I expected in all but one class, which was photography. I got a B. I was really upset about it at first, but have come to accept and be ok with it.

I prayed for that acceptance and a desire to not be mad anymore, because when I first saw my grade I was really mad, upset might have been too nice of a word. Without the Lord stepping in and taking away my frustration, which was focused at my teacher, I would still be upset about it today. I really am all good now. I had an immediate change of heart one night while I was praying, it was the best feeling. That change signifies for me that God loves me and wants me to be happy. I wasn't happy during that time of being mad and He knew it. I also really didn't like the fact that anger over something that was out of my control (I was in control of the work I put into class, but my teacher was in control to grade my work as he saw fit) was enticing me to be grumpy. I chose to pray because I don't like being unhappy and I don't like not feeling in control of my own emotions/reactions. Anger has that effect on me and probably most people. I know that Jesus Christ can counter balance anger and help me to feel love and peace so He is who I try to go to when I am having a "moment" of frustration.

Now onto the Platform project. Not that I need to write it here, because I would have already posted if I had got accepted, but alas, my project proposal did not get accepted. I don't remember if I wrote it, but my Medici proposal for the camera didn't get accepted either, but I did get $400 in scholarships which is super cool.  I know there is a reason I didn't get them so I'll be content with living my life despite the initial disappointment. I am thankful now that I didn't get the Platform project because there has been A LOT going on this last month and having the kind of responsibility to a project like that would have freaked me out. I'm still planning on making the squeezed lemon piece, maybe a little smaller, but I'll do it over the fall semester and try to get it sold after it's made. However a new camera would have been super cool ;) Now I need to move getting a camera up higher on my "things to purchase when I have more money" list.

It's been interesting to have a months perspective on the end of my first semester at the UofA. I learned so much throughout the spring 2014 semester. Here is hoping to keep the streak of learning a bunch alive during the coming years of school.

Here's the low down...

Missionary schedules are hard!

I have not woken up at 6:30am at all since my gun-ho excitement about being a full-time missionary this summer. (I have gone to bed by 10:30 two or three nights though, win!)

I had to face the fact folks, I'm not cut out for that early of a morning yet.

Notice the word yet.

I won't quit trying. I'm determined to not get mad at myself either. It's going to be a transition for me and I realize transitions take time. I need to also be more diligent about studying the scriptures and Preach My Gospel. I always have a better day when I do that. I think some of that "better" comes in the form of not feeling guilty about not doing it. Ya know since I really do know I should be. Again, I'm a work in progress and greatly appreciate that transitioning to become a better missionary takes time.

Positive note: I have been trying to be missionary in other ways. Serving in my community (community food bank and borderlinks) and feeding the missionaries in my ward. I try to share my simple testimony on certain subjects on social media and I've given contact info for a few friends to the full-time missionaries in my ward who I think would like to know more about the Gospel.

I guess I've been doing pretty good. Here is to trying again tomorrow. 

Balance and my lack of it, but I know what to do about it

My super intense month long 3 credit summer sociology class is teaching me tons about how the world and the people in it functions, for good and for bad. I was getting overwhelmed recognizing all the bad that is still prevelant in society and secretly freaking out because I don't know how to fix it. I know that the power of healing for our worlds problems comes through the Atonement and Jesus Christ.  This truth allowed me to recognize the need to use the Gospel of Jesus Christ to balance out my overwhelmed freak outs and have my hopes restored in humanity again.

Tonight peace finally came when I recognized I need to balance what intense learning is happening in my secular and scholastic world with equal intensity in Gospel learning. Good thing I've felt impressed to study and apply the teachings of Preach My Gospel in my life these last two weeks. No joke, for a few days I really thought I was supposed to go on a full time mission because the impression was so strong. Today though all the feelings and impressions accumulated into one beautiful realization on what to do. Guess who's going to start living a full time missionary life the rest of the summer?!

You guessed it me!

I feel The Lord has been so patient with teaching me that not only I need to do it, but why. He really does love and know us the best. 

Because the peace I now feel about that decision has lit within me a determination to do it. Here is to one amazing summer. 

p.s. Being a missionary requires daily journal keeping too doesn't it? I guess this little journey will be recorded here too then. Ya know since this is my claim to keeping a journal :)

p.p.s. It's already past my bedtime, eek. Goodnight because I'll be up bright and early at 630. 

Journaling

For the last few weeks I've had many thoughts roaming around my noggin. Tonight I started like six posts that will be expounded on here soon enough. I've realized I need to be a better journal keeper and writing down my inadequacy about said journal keeping here will help me to be accountable for all those drafts I've started. Hehe. I hope my love of photo journaling with Instagram will make up for some of my missed written entries. 

I want to print out my Instagram account photos and put them in a photo album because IG is going bye-bye when my iPhone goes bye-bye. I will have to think of a creative way to keep doing photo journaling without a cell phone camera available at all times, because I'm going cell phone free here in the next week. I'm "up-grading" my plan to a basic home phone. Me no likey my smart phone anymore, its a gigantic life distraction and I want to still try to LIVE life by simplifying potential distractions. 

I'm sure I'll end up telling you all about it. Keep an eye out for the six posts coming in the next two weeks. 

I need a massage.

haha. I really do need a massage. Maybe one of these days I will go for one.

I wanted to update the blog with some life adventure news. Here you be.

My first semester at the UofA is Fineeeeshed! A's and B's, a couple of gallery shows, a couple of scholarship submissions (I didn't get the Medici, but I did get some mulah from an art school scholarship for next semester :), a large scale project proposal (hoping to find out if I got it this week!), experiencing hate and complete love for a single class, learning how to weld with oxy-acetylene and getting to make a bronze sculpture, seeing things differently, literally and figuratively, thanks to my photography class, trying tempeh, marmite, king oyster mushrooms, and learning there are fungi EVERYWHERE thanks to my mycology class, gaining a greater love for people through praying for them because they bugged the crap out of me, some rockin' calves from all my bike riding, and an addiction to natural Jamaican style ginger ale from the co-op (I drove by it twice a day and it always seemed to beckon me to go inside! lol) makes for a pretty complete semester.

That doesn't include all my adventures with volunteering with the food bank, the children's literacy program, or church. Nor my adventures with trying the CSA (community supported agriculture for local sourdough SUPER ahhhhhmazing breads), public transportation, or stories with getting to better know my mom and her awesomeness. Those are adventures for sure aided in my becoming a better person this semester and a few might be delved into later. For now, I'm just thankful I survived. I just re-read this post and realized why I might have felt a weeeeeeeeee bit overwhelmed this semester. I am COMPLETELY THANKFUL TO GOD, without Him I would have broke.

I also should mention I just submitted my resume and application for a position at the community food bank AND a new crush is forming... oh the sweetness of new life adventures :)

platFORM: adventures in sculpture proposals

Last night I submitted my very first sculpture proposal for an outdoor installation space up in Scottsdale, Tempe, or Gilbert. There are eight "platform" spaces available throughout those cities that were created specifically for art students to have the chance to create and display works while in school. If I get accepted I get funding and the chance to have my work on display for a whole year! I was super excited when I first heard about it and knew I wanted to try for it. No joke, it took awhile to get everything together to submit, but thankfully it all pulled together and now it's in the hands of the Lord whether I get the opportunity or not. I wanted to share my written project proposal, the sketches and miniature bronze piece I made to depict my proposed piece.

Here you be, but remember I don't write or draw as well as I can sculpt! haha.

I am currently a sculpture student at the University of Arizona where my knowledge and experience with art practices and theory are expanding. This is encouraging me to create pieces with impact; I feel the impact of my work is through engaging the mind not only in thought through what is being depicted and emphasized in a piece, but I also feel my work encourages action by connecting individuals to themselves and their community through implied dialogue with the piece. In 2013 I received my Associates of Fine Arts degree with a visual arts concentration from Pima Community College. During my time as a student I have been able to work with metal, ceramic and wood concentrating on using each material to its full potential.

A passion in my life is food, specifically the production and consumption of the western diet. My work attempts to open up a conversation about food and its industry. Through my experience with whole food living, being a food writer, and helping educate youth about nutrition the piece I am proposing will not only appeal to the eye, but challenge thought in regards to the impact industrialized food has on the individual, community, and society. My proposal for the Platform project is a squeezed half lemon dripping juice. The lemon closely connects Arizona with the food industry and culture; Citrus being one of the five cash crops of the region. A 36” x 30” x 36” steel rod frame forms the lemon segments, added ceramic pieces will make up parts of the peel and the exposed cut flesh of the lemon. The ceramic elements will be attached to the frame with bolts and other hardware to emphasize industrialization in our culture. The work interacts with the viewer by letting them see inside and through the piece as well as the urban landscape around. This helps to ground the viewer to their local environment by marrying the viewer to the landscape hoping to incite action as the process of food production and consumption in the western diet is truly disjointed from sustainable agriculture.

 I titled the little bronze piece "Fresh Squeezed". haha. Isn't it cute? Also, working with wax, which is what I had to do to get the bronze piece was fun, but waaaay different than working with clay. I like clay. 

Now I have three things I am waiting to hear back about that I have opened myself up to try for, an art school scholarship for the fall (I'll find out in the next month or two about this), the summer Medici scholarship to buy a new camera (I'll find out in the next week about this), and this platFORM project (I'll find out by May 9th about this). 

Even if I don't get any of them I sure have learned a lot about myself, my work ethic/organizational skills under pressure, and what my passions for creating art is. Sweet goodness school might be harder than I was expecting, but I sure am enjoying all this learning and life experience. If I do get them though... my summer is going to be PACKED. haha. I am hoping for the latter. Prayers and happy vibes my way would be immensely appreciated :)