A new year and what that entails

In two days its 2014. 

Time is flying by soooo stinkin' fast!

I start the University in a little over two weeks and I can't wait!

I'm already focusing on my art and coming up with new ideas and sketches, and can't wait until classes start so I can get more done and start building/creating. I won't be taking ceramics this semester which is kinda sad, but I'll have to compensate in my sculpture and b&w photog classes for artistic release ;) 

I'm totally submitting five sculpture pieces for a Sustainability Art Show being put on at the UA this spring. Here is hoping my pieces are what they are looking for. I realized I have a niche with my artwork... Out of the 15 or so pieces I have that are portfolio worthy, 1/3 of them easily fit into the food/sustainability/be kind to the earth realm. Lol. It's like I have a passion for all things food or something?! I had three pieces photographed today and when I get the images I'll post what I'm submitting. Yay for making art!!!

Along with making more art, I'm going to continue this new year focusing on downsizing to simple, basic, essentials in my home and life more. I'm going to go the route of bus and bike for school this year too instead of driving Coug (my little car) around. It just makes sense that with my growing passion for reverence and love for the earth and people on it, I should try to help keep it beautiful in whatever small way I can.  

With that thought process I'll be moving from apartment living (YAY!!!) and going for a house where I can garden and have me some chickens! Woot! Woot! It'll happen in May if not sooner. I got to go on an awesome chicken coop tour sponsored by the co-op that got me even more excited about chickens and gardening. I didn't know getting more excited for it was possible, but it was and I am. Haha. 

I am also going to keep volunteering with the food bank! Its so much fun and the girl that I get to help and work with is so stinkin' sweet! I'll keep helping out with the kids nutrition program and the kids/cooking demo booth at the farmers market. I find it really fulfilling to work in the community and talk to people!

I've checked out a few books this week

That I feel will help me with the goals I have set for myself in my life at the moment too!

Weekly canning and yummy food making, continuing to build homemaking skills (I want to be prepared for my ship when it happens;), working on creating gallery worthy art, and the simplification of my home and overall lifestyle. 

I'll need to also work on sewing, I'm officially in the 190's with my weight which means in the last year I've lost about 50lbs, and will need to get clothes fitting better. I've realized The Lord has blessed me with what clothes I do have now though that fit. There was a group of women in my church that we passed around bags of clothes we didn't want anymore and I got a good chunk of cute smaller sized pants and skirts that route. I have also loved being able to barter with my skills, mainly the hair doin' skills for stuff. Lol. I got my sculptures photographed and a couple cute infinity scarves that way. Bring on more bartering for other stuff too!

Worthy goals I dare say. These don't include the personal spiritual goals I have, those goals are deserving of their own post, but I truly believe these goals will work together to help me become a better person, daughter, sister, neighbor, and friend. 

Here is to making changes today!

A lesson learned from crushin'

One of the lessons I've learned during this crushin' on the Prof is that the guys I've thought I liked, I um, don't think I really liked them that much. 

I think I built the previous crushes up so much in my head as super duper amazing that I wasn't able to see the real them, ok truthfully I don't know if I wanted to see the real them. I for sure short changed them and myself for not being willing to see the real them, but it is an area I apparently need to grow and learn in. Hopefully this crush is a sign that I'm learning. Fingers crossed and prayers said. 

Don't get me wrong, I think Prof is amazing, but somehow, I've recognized his imperfections along the way as I've gotten to know him and never wanted to put him above myself. If that makes sense. I see us as equals which I've not experienced with guys I've "liked" in the past. It's been really interesting to try and figure out why I've put guys above myself while also trying to just accept that I did and move on. I haven't fine tuned the "why" yet, but I'm coming around in the accepting part quite nicely ;)

I think its funny too that previous crushes I've gone on dates with, but not with him. Its weird. I've recognized I wasn't really friends with the previous guys, they got put in the crush zone too quickly. Prof for sure got put in the "he's cute" zone at first, but not the full crush zone for a good while. I feel with time we've become friends, not the social hanging out friends yet, but the "we can talk about more personal stuff and care about what's happening in the life of the other person", kind of friends. I'm pro our kind of friendship. 

I let him know I like him, but he let me know he's not interested in dating anyone right now except himself and his art. I told him I think he's missing out because there are a lot of perks that come with dating me besides my cooking ;) but being just friends is totally cool with me. I would rather be just friends than miss out on his awesomeness. Whether there is a date in our future or not, he is still good people, and someone I highly respect. 

I will probably continue to check him out when I see him, and told him such, but there will be a whole new pool of guys to check out in my near future. Good ole UofA. Lol. I'll try and remember the lessons I've learned though and go the route of sticking with seeing the reality of a guy and building a friendship first. 

Oh Happy Day!

I got accepted into the art school!! Yeah buddy!!

I called them today since I hadn't heard anything yet. The official paper documentation will be coming in the mail next week, but they congratulated me and said I was in :) I'll take it!

New crush? Don't mind if I do.

Well ok, its not a "new" crush. I've thought this guy is pretty amazing for over a year now. I've just gotten the chance to get to know him a little more this semester. Good ole super hot, amazing art professor (read this post) I'll re-emphasize: he has never been my teacher, so liking him is ok. Haha.  I see and talk to him a couple times a week, and totally check him out... and maybe I bring him homemade food sometimes too. Don't judge. lol. 

I've learned a few things about myself during this adventure of having a crush on him, one thing is I totally eat better when I have someone to cook for (selfish? A little). I really do enjoy sharing my whole food concoctions with him, he's kinda a taste tester. He's eaten some pretty odd stuff, but so far his food critiquing vocab for my food is "really good" and "awesome"... I'll take it.  (Some of the other stuff I've learned about myself will be blogged about separately, keep an eye out)

I'll only get to check him out and bring him tasty goodness for another week though, because I finish school and won't take classes at Pima anymore come Dec 16. Sad day. 

Well maybe the big picture it's not a sad day, Im moving on to the UofA (still waiting for the actual acceptance into the program, but the art dept advisors totally let me sign up for my art classes already, so I'm kinda already in ;), and that's not sad. He also has said we will go out for lunch next semester, that's not sad either. Haha. I keep hinting we should eat sushi. I love sushi. 

Now, I hope his definition of next semester and my definition of next semester are the same, or better yet, we should define next semester as being the winter break session. I'll have to try and pass that new definition onto him ;)

I've realized we can still stay in touch though, even if I don't get to see him or bring him food anymore. There is always email. Good ole email. I really do prefer talking to him in person though, he cracks me up! I think he's witty, smart, kind, waaaay oober talented, and ridiculously attractive! His smile is my favorite. 

I like that I can be myself around him, God loving, odd commentator, funny face making, wanna be artist, foodie that I am and he's cool with that. I'm a little odd folks, but truthfully, he kinda is too. Haha. I get he's trying to be a better person in the world, and that's pretty endearing.

I like the guy, but I don't want to put him in any kind of weird predicament with work being a teacher and me being a student at the school though, because it wouldn't be fair to him. He didn't ask me to like him. It is his fault he's amazing though and his parents fault he's cute. Valid argument? I think so. Here is hoping next semester at a different school comes quickly and the sushi hints take effect. I'll keep y'all updated. 

Once I tell him about my blog, I'll give ya his name too ;) it seems only fare. Until then, what shall his nickname be? Prof? Prof it is. 

A Lesson on the Power of Love through Forgiveness

What is the greatest commandment? 

"Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind." (New Testament, Matthew, Matthew 22:37)

What is the second greatest commandment?

"Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself." (New Testament, Matthew, Matthew 22:39) 

I've learned that forgiveness is hard. 

I've learned that I couldn't let go of the hurt on my own. 

I've learned I can't say I believe in the power of the Atonement in other areas of healing and not trust in it regarding helping me to love and forgive. 

I've learned that trying to love while not being forgiving is hard. 

I've learned though, that the ability to truly forgive others and ourselves comes because of Jesus Christ and His ability to forgive each of us. 

I've learned that trying to love during the process of forgiveness was worth the peace that came into my heart. 

I've learned during these last couple months I am teachable. They have been hard lessons to learn. I cried a lot folks, but I'm learning to completely rely on my Heavenly Father, my Savior, and the Holy Ghost to refine out the 'natural man' within me because I know I can not, nor would I want to, do it alone. 

I love feeling peace and comfort, I love feeling joy, and I'm trying to make my day to day decisions based on invoking those feelings with in myself and others as much as possible. 

I've learned its a complete cycle of love. 

Love really is the answer, when we love God, we want to love our neighbor. When we feel Gods love we want to share it with our neighbor and the cycle continues. 

I. Love. Love. 

ROCK CLIMBING

I totally just went rock climbing and rappelling. Yeah, it was pretty amazing and fun. It sure does hurt your toes though :)

Me all decked out ready to start, trying not to freeze with the cold morning and super high winds. I went with the youth of my church on their activity since I am one of the young women leaders; I totally got to adventure because of my amazing calling. Hehe. I love my calling for so many reasons. 

Yeah, that's me up there. I've been wanting to try rock climbing out for a couple years, but was never at a place physically where I could... Until now. I love living in a place where outdoor adventures are possible pretty much whenever I'm up for one. Maybe more are in my future. Good ole Mt. Lemmon and Windy Point were the location for today's play. 

Great view from the base of the climb, which is about 60ft. It was a really fun day. I learned I can do hard things physically, but I had to not think to much about not being able to accomplish it which really helped me finish. It took me probably longer than other people, but I still did it. Yay me! And Yay for a great teacher and belayer who guided me and helped me when I felt stuck. 

It was also a really interesting learning experiemce to not really "experience" what my ideas of rock climbing were, but to experience the reality of what it was. It was both way easier and way harder than I expected. I was very pleasantly surprised with the whole experience. 

This is something I think I would enjoy doing again. I also learned rappelling is really fun and that has to be part of the deal. Haha. 

Repition, repitition, repitition.

This last Sunday I took the opportunity to re read the last couple years worth of blog posts, a journaling reflection if you will... let's just say that they seem to be about the EXACT. SAME. THINGS. Patience, worth, and health seem to be life themes these past three years... hmmmm. What to think about that?

I also learned grammar was not my strong point and I repeated myself a lot back in the day. Now, do I go back and edit those posts, and make them sound better, or accept them as they are. Thinking of them as a representation of growth I've experienced in gaining knowledge? I think lazy is going to win out and I'll leave them as is. haha.

I've been noting the repetition I see in the scriptures lately and recognize it is a sign of importance on a subject. I have to ask myself if I'm giving the subjects in my life the right attention in learning their importance for me. I wonder if these same things will continue to be my life lessons or will they change? Only time will tell. Thankfully I have this here blog to help me reflect. I believe Heavenly Father knows what He is talking about when He tells us to journal. I should try a little harder at combining my journaling efforts. Facebook and Instagram are for sure little snippets of our lives, how fun it would be to see everything chronologically laid out over the time frame of Finding my ore. 

Another goal for 2014, here we go ;)

Food Storage

3 Months worth of Grains. Check. 

1 Week worth of Water with more being added to it. Check. 

Canned veggies and fruit. Nope. Nada. 

Guess what my plans are with food storage this next year?! He. He. 

I'm trying to heed the counsel of the Prophets and have the storage I need, I need to get more... A lot more ;)

I'm hoping to move into a house this summer where I can start a garden and have me some chickens, then I can start canning my own good stuff! Yay!! Until then I should start getting a little more at the farmers market in produce and come up with a weekly canning session to at least get myself acclimated to doing it. Thankfully I have jars and a pressure cooker already, aye? Now I just need to do it. 

Food storage you are in the plans for this new year.

Humbling Perspective

Humor me if this post doesn't make complete sense and it sounds like I'm being really vague, I'll try to keep re-reading and re-writing this post until I completely grasp the lesson Im supposed to be learning. God willing. 

I had been upset this last month with a few people because of some things they had said, either to me, about me, or about my family... I've realized we were all at fault and I'm learning how to forgive myself and them right now. I know trusting in the Atonement will help forgiveness to happen though so I'm trying really hard to do that. 

I've learned I don't like not liking people, especially people I interact with a lot... But not always liking people happens sometimes and I understand that. I know we are not commanded to like people, but to love them. I still try to be cordial and nice though. Its hard, but has been worth it to try the route of being nice the last few years. 

Anywho, I've realized in this specific experience in life, I've been a little selfish in giving love to those who have offended me though. I feel the negative effects of it in my soul. I'm not a fan of negative feelings in my soul folks. Period! I had to write the word for effect since that cute little dot didn't convey it enough for me. Haha. I much prefer the feelings of comfort and peace that usually fill my heart, and I've realized how reliant I am on my Savior to obtain that comfort and peace. I am trying to forgive, I am trying to accept what role I have played in creating the atmosphere where others felt it would be ok to criticize me or my family. 

Once I recognized the role I played though, self doubt started to creep in; All of my imperfections, things I see or others have pointed out about my personality specifically. Satan, he's a tricky bugger who preys when we are weak. I have to try and feel better about who I am because I'm not perfect and do make mistakes. That trying to feel better about myself got me talking to a few people last Sunday who's opinions I value greatly and it worked. Their insight on loving people (or ourselves) despite knowing their their imperfections, really allowed me to ponder and be taught later by the Spirit. 

I knew none if us were perfect, but I wasn't grasping the principle in the right perspective until this epiphany came: 

Each person, each persons personality that is, needs work. We, you for me, me for you, are each other's "lessons" to be learned. Whether they are personalities we like and get along with, or they are personalities that drive us nuts, they are part of our lives to help refine us. They can teach us key principles of how to be more like Jesus Christ. 

A scripture in the Book of Mormon came to mind while writing this post: 

"And charity suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things" (Book of Mormon, Moroni, Moroni 7 verse 45). 

Thanks to a lesson on patience I just have in YW I learned that four of the above named Christlike attributes relate to patience...

Patience with other people isn't easy, patience with ourselves isn't easy, but I have humbly learned that its ok to be imperfect and be a person that helps other people, and ourselves, to become refined because of those exact imperfections. Each little step towards an increase of patience for others and ourselves removes a little more dross of imperfection each time. 

Yeah. I'm imperfect and in this life, that is ok. It's helping to prepare me for the next. 

Letter of Intent and Portfolio.

To Whom It May Concern,

I am writing this letter to introduce myself and explain why I would be a great addition to the 3-D Sculptural Design program at the University of Arizona. I'm Sarah, and I have always loved creating. I define creation as using my mind and hands together to create "something" from "nothing". I am a self titled foodie and enjoy creating in my kitchen! There is so much beauty in nature that I am in awe of. I am also a licensed cosmetologist, which challenges my mind and hands to create with an ever changing medium. With these skills, age, and life experience, I've learned I want to try and make a bigger difference in the world around me. I know that pursuing knowledge is the only way that will happen. 

I chose to start college at twenty nine so I could help contribute to building a healthy and strong community; I want to do that with my art. I didn’t recognize my full potential with the arts until I was in my first college art class in 2011. During that first class I realized I wanted to keep creating and learning all I could about everything in the art world. I went on to take classes in ceramics, drawing, life drawing, sculpture, color theory, jewelry, and art history. In December I will finish my associates degree at Pima Community College with a degree in fine arts, concentrating in ceramics. 

I truly have a passion for making art. I love the challenge of creating, especially in 3-D. I was privileged to have one of my sculptures, “Fear the Soda”, accepted and published in the 2013 edition of Sandscript Literary Art Journal. Along with having a passion to create, I have an immense love to teach what I know. I am a volunteer teacher at my church, I was a hair color educator for two years and an arts and crafts teacher for the last two summers. I feel that the University of Arizona will be the place where I can gain the further knowledge and skill I need to be able to go out into the world and continue creating and teaching that which is good.

Thank you so much for your time,

Sincerely,

Sarah

So yeah, I wrote this lovely little gem only to find out I totally don't need it! Haha. I figured it is a great journal worthy note so it's getting posted here :) along with the pics of my work I submitted in the admissions portfolio. 

Here they be. 

"Copper Rose" Copper and enamel. 2012. 

"Whittling of a Queen" Wood and varnish. 2013

"Fear the Soda" Metal, wood, and stain. 2013. 

"Torn Teal Vase" Ceramic with glaze. 2012. 

"Nurturing Knowledge" Ceramic with glaze. 2012. 

"There's no such thing as too many vegetables" Ceramic with glaze and acrylic paint. 2013. 

"Some say I'm old fashioned" Plaster, acrylic paint, and multi media. 2013. 

"Self Portrait" Charcoal on paper. 2012. 

Now sending all of this in has been pretty mind blowing. I feel the hand of the Lord in every step. He calms me when I get overwhelmed, He comforts me when I doubt myself (one form of that is my loving and kind friends and family), He reminds me of my potential and reassures me that I am His and He will guide, shape, and bless my life as long as I'm willing to let Him. 

I can't do this alone, nor have I been alone, on the adventure of knowledge. I feel so blessed that my prayers have been answered and I can see glimpses of my potential, all because God loves me. He really does love each of us and desires for us to see our own potential; by seeing out potential we recognize His hand in our lives. I. Love. God. I also know that if I don't get accepted into the art program this semester, I know I can work harder and be prepared for the next one. Yeah buddy, here is to going to the University of Arizona and taking the steps I need to be refined and become a better Sarah. 

I GOT ACCEPTED!

I applied to the University of Arizona last week... I just got the call (letter is in the mail) that I got accepted!

Yeah buddy!

Now time to get the art school application, letter of intent, and portfolio sent out. I'll find out in November if I get accepted into the 3-D Sculptural Design program there. If the Lord wills it, and I do all I can, here is to me starting there in January!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Those of you who actually know the doubts and fears I had about being accepted and really going for my bachelor's degree over the last ten years, have to know that today feels good.

I am truly grateful for all the blessings the Lord has bestowed upon me, here is to another step toward trying to become better.

Singing a Solo! What did I just agree too?!

There is going to be a musical program (we call them firesides) at church in November and I just agreed to sing a solo... I JUST AGREED TO DO WHAT?!! SING A SOLO!!

Well, let me tell you a little about me and music shall I...

I grew up in a church that had a family who would get up, the wife, husband, and kiddos, and sing songs as special musical numbers during sacrament meeting. I remember thinking at like age 10 that I wanted to one day do that with my family because I remember how good I felt while they were singing and how pretty it sounded. I did not know how to sing. I didn't know what timing was, what a flat or a sharp was, let alone how to make the right sound come out of me. haha.

Fast forward 21 years... I didn't think I was in a place to be comfortable with singing in front of people, but I've humbly realized that the Lord has allowed me to learn and practice being in front of people and trying to sing in tune for the last few years for just this type of occasion. Today, He even impressed upon someone to compliment my singing during Young Women's earlier in the day out of the blue. He knew I would need the compliment that I sounded okay, which I doubted until she told me otherwise, so I would say yes to doing this solo (which was asked of me hours later by someone who had no clue of the previous conversation)... tricky tricky. haha.

It has taken me a long time to build up the knowledge I have about music, which is still not a lot (truthfully, I can't sight read at all, but I do recognize when the notes move around ;), to even be comfortable singing in my church choir. I should tell ya, in Mormon church choirs (not the Mormon Tabernacle Choir mind you, just members of the church singing in their local congregation), you don't have to sing well, you kinda just have to show up and you're in. I definitely fit into the latter qualifications as a member of choirs for years, but well, okay, now I can sing in tune sometimes because, holy momma, I sing in my car a lot, and may or may not practice leading music while driving too, and really I sing whenever I am by myself, so maybe, just maybe, I have over the last couple years gotten better at singing in tune on purpose more often than not.

However, I'm still in awe that I said yes, and ask myself why in the world would I agree to sing a solo, in front of people?!

Honestly, I may or may not have secretly been wanting to sing in front of people for a few months now... I know, I'm weird!

It scares me and I'm still not that good at it! Thankfully, the director of the program said I can find someone to sing with me if I want too... which I may end up doing if my anxiety about it flares up or I feel impressed to do so, but I know I can do anything with the help of the Lord. I realize that getting over my fear of it now will also help me be better at it in the future. I really do love inviting the Spirit of God with song and would love to be one of those people who can help others feel the Love of God through uplifting words and music too. I love music as a missionary tool and the use of it in my home as a testifier of truth. I'm trying out something scary to help me become better at it. I guess it'll help me to grow as a person because it will challenge me to actually practice and become better at something which is an amazing perk.

Tonight is when the prayers start that I don't pass out, that I learn the music and my part and that everything will turn out great.

Transition to Healthy

Hi all. I don't know how many of you go between my food blog, plancooktaste.blogspot.com and this blog, so I'll explain my change in eating habits, which you have probably already picked up on if you look at my other blog that have been the catalyst to my becoming more healthy.

Ill start with who I was physically and talk about the transformation into who I have become. My max weight was 350lbs, to my knowledge, I didn't often weigh myself for obvious reasons. I gained the most weight from the ages  17-19; staying in that realm of 350lbs for years. I was always a fat kid growing up, in school and amongst my friends. I seemed to have adapted to that role I  hated. 

I wanted a change! 8 years later and 135lbs less I believe I've done just that. Guys, I lost a whole person in weight. I often forget that and get frustrated at myself because Im still a bigger girl, but really, I should be proud of me for any pound I've lost, let alone 135 of them. 

It was 2005, I was 23, when I decided I was done being so fat. I didn't know exactly where to start... I knew people who tried Atkins, I knew people who tried Weight Watchers, so I decided to try my own version of them too. Low carbs and counting points worked! 50lbs in 6 months (which looking at me at the time you couldn't tell because I was that big, but the scale told me I was losing weight, so I chose to believe it), but then I was at a stand still of 300lbs for almost a year. 

I wanted to loose more weight, I felt there had had to be another way that would work for me, but couldn't come up with anything on my own. So I did what I always try to do in such situations. I prayed. 

A phrase came very strongly to my mind during that prayer, "No Fried, No Sweet, No Soda". I had a simple prayer answered then and prayers continually answered now. God really does love us and wants us to have joy! Ok, back to "No Fried, No Sweet, No Soda", that phrase cut out a lot of bad food folks, it was super hard, but I went with it. Within 3 months I dropped another 30-40 lbs, by then I could start seeing the physical change in my body and I was feeling great!

I was down around 260lbs by the time I moved to Salt Lake in 2008. The first year there, with walking and bike riding I got down another 10lbs and stayed around 250lbs until last summer. 

The summer of 2012 at camp is where I had a few "ah ha" moments with food consumption and my weight, simple things like, PROCESSED FOOD IS SUPER GROSS and I really REALLY don't need to eat meat with every meal!!! Before I went to camp I was already transitioning into making all my own food/condiments anyway because I knew they would taste better when they were homemade. I've become a food snob since starting my food blog. Lol. Said blog inspired me to make more things "homemade" which confirmed for me how much better everything tasted that way! I just wanted to keep eating good tasting food, so I tried to cut out all processed stuff!

Another thing I learned was in regards to my psyche, get ready: I wasn't going to let my size impede a guy I like from liking me back. side note: I really liked a guy at camp, and honestly if I was a different size, I think he would have liked me too. Details about him don't matter, I think I was supposed to learn the lesson about myself that I did. Plus, I don't like that guy anymore ;) The lesson I learned sunk deep though. Im thankful the point of the lesson was driven home that if I thought my weight was really impeding my dating, I should do something about it. 

So I did. 

When I got home after camp I started eating and cooking better. I also read the Word of Wisdom (a code of health that has promised blessings written for members of the church) and found that I was living up to what substances I shouldn't be putting into my body like coffee, tea, tobacco, and alcohol, but I was falling short on what I should be eating; fruits, veggies, and grains as my staples with meat only in times of cold, winter, and famine. 

A good friend of mine, Camry, who I started hanging out with around that time, took me to the local farmers market and introduced me to fresh ground wheat flour; she and I are freakishly like minded people with food, truthfully, on oh so many levels. She helped me to know I wasn't the only one who seemed a bit odd with food choices, wanting to eat a more natural diet. Our friendship was a perfect fit for both of us at  the time. (I get to visit her next month in the U.T. I am so excited!!!)

Truthfully, I also got an iPhone and LOVED taking pictures of my food! Nature is beautiful, so some of my food creations just came out pretty!

I then started to buy my produce at the farmer's market and found that my food tasted waaaay better! Fancy that. I then decided since I was on a healthy living kick, a nutritional biology course would be perfect! I would learn more about nutrition and fulfill a science requirement for school. Sign me up. 

The. Class. Was. Amazing!!! 

I learned about organic whole food living and was sold by the fact after trying it for a few weeks I felt wonderful and had already lost like 15lbs. I started having more fun in my kitchen too. Tweaking recipes to take out refined sugars, and adding whole grains as much as possible is fun!! I'll say I've been lucky enough that I haven't had a complete bomb in tweaking which I'm totally thankful for!

Anywho, now me today, September 2013, I'm eating homemade fresh, local, and organic food as much as possible. I'm starting to ride my bike, which allows me to use built up energy, which I've never had in my life before, I'm teaching my mom and some friends how to eat healthier and testifying of the blessings that have come into my life by obeying the Word of Wisdom.

Yeah buddy, healthy feels good. 

I love being thinner too! I love taking in my clothes and shopping for sizes I haven't worn since freshman year of high school. I love that I feel healthier physically, I don't get sick as often now. I feel AMAZING mentally, like a fog has been lifted from my mind, and spiritually I feel a general peace that is so nice.

Who doesn't want that?!

The amazing thing is all of this weight loss has been with DIET ONLY, I have done no regular workouts ever. I did gain muscle from walking so much at camp this last summer and plan to start doing some workouts to tone up, but Im pretty positive even without working out I could still loose another 25lbs or so with just my diet. Learning about good eating habits I feel is waaaay more important than exercise at first if you're trying to make a change, because it doesn't matter how much exercising you do if you still eat crap. No joke. 

I'll keep eating good stuff because its helped me to prioritize my life and see what I really want. I like being in control of my health as much as possible. I also realize this weight loss is a big deal for me in the sense I couldn't be the adventurous wife or mom I want to someday be with the weight I was. I had to choose to change so I could fulfill my potential! It's been totally worth it!

Here are a few pics over the years to show the progression of health (sorry for grainy images, but you get the idea)

2006 December I think? Winter Formal Institute Dance

(this is me between 300-315lbs)

2007 December - Catering for Michelle's Reception

2008 June Date to the zoo with my two nephews and niece

2009 December New Years Eve Party at Hale Center Theatre

2010 August SKA, last day of hours completed for Utah Cosmo licensing

2011 May at a friends party

2012 August Camp (this white polo was an x-large)

2012 end of September 1 1/2 months after camp

2013 June Playing in Kittery, ME with friends

(Notice its the same gray shirt from the other pic ;)

2013 August Camp (the white polo from this year was a large ;)

Here are some fun pics to see the transition change to my face and noggin

September 2008

November 2012  Hair chop

January 2013 Work day

May 2013 Adventure at Old Tucson

August 2013 A Sunday after church

 

Eating healthier isn't hard anymore, not only because I see the results and feel them, but I don't feel gipped with food. I don't cut out ANY oils, carbs, or proteins. I just eat organic olive oil and butter (I don't measure either, I eye ball it or put enough in/on something to make it taste good;), I make my breads with organic grains, and utilize legumes, nuts, and seeds more often. I introduced more fresh fruits and veggies and truthfully I miss a meal when its not loaded with them. I think food just tastes better when its whole and organic; I have no guilt eating anymore, its really nice. 

Now lets hope my ore is ok with eating this way too and he's not a pure meat and potatoes kinda guy or he'll have a harder transition than me. Lol. 

Here is to more weight loss by eating tasty food :) and more adventures because I can physically do more now!

What to do next?

Sad day, the co-op job was already filled before I sent my résumé. However! By finding that job I've thought of ideas on what I want to do for work. 

Ok, its mainly "idea", not ideas. Lol. 

Ready? Its pretty simple... 

I want to teach about food and whole food cooking... Community classes, or one on one teaching?? 

All I want to do is teach about food and make art, is that so bad? 

I think not. 

Now time to figure out how to make the teaching thing happen. 

I'll try and let ya know how it goes :)

Volunteering and Work

Hehe. 

This last week I met with the local community food bank to talk about volunteer opportunities, which was amazing! I'm going to try and help out with one of their programs that focuses on teaching kids about food and nutrition. Ill be going to a few after school programs and the farmers market to help out with cooking demos and kid wrangling in. Which I'm excited about! Now I have to get my fingerprint clearance card/background check done, which I'm not excited about because I hear it takes some time... Eh, I can wait if I must. 

While I was talking with them there however, I was realizing I want to play a bigger role in taking action in my community, especially where food is concerned. (One of these days I'll have to write a post and put up a series of pictures cataloging my morphing into a smaller, healthier person because of my food choices. Which change has given me so much passion for whole food and healthy eating)

Anywho, tonight I was looking at a newsletter I got from the co-op here in town, which I am a proud member of, and saw there was a fun, eat local challenge on their website. I decided to look up the blog posts they had, since I realized the challenge happened while I was in Maine, and see what they had to say there at www.foodconspiracy.coop 

It was a cool challenge, Im sad I missed out on it, but it was a fun read. The posts were written by their front end manager, a cute guy named Dick I see when I go shopping, about his experience of eating local for a month. After reading the posts, I decided to look around the website... I saw an "Employment Opportunity" tab... 

Should I?

Yup I should. 

They have a part time position for an outreach and education coordinator! 

People, I would LOVE that! Im also pretty qualified for such a position if I do say so myself. So, yeah, I um, updated my résumé and will be shipping it off with a cover letter via the World Wide Web tomorrow and praying that if its the right fit for me and I'm the right fit for it, everything will work out and I'll get to work with people again, teaching about a subject I am freakishly passionate about! 

Yay!!

A Little Impatient Are We?

Holy momma. No joke, this is a big learning, Ah Ha, lightbulb exploding, "mind blown" to quote a co-worker, kind of moment for me right now!

Today, really as I'm typing this, I've realized just how impatient I can be sometimes...

I learned a little about this subject over the summer when I got a concussion and I had to teach and work with others differently because I physically/mentally couldn't handle all that I was used to doing. My loving sister put that lesson I learned in these words "it took a concussion for you to learn not to be a control freak!" 

No really, it did. 

I didn't associate impatience as being a part of a control freak thing before, BUT IT TOTALLY IS! 

I also didn't realize how impatient I was until a memory from a few months back came to me recently of Tyson commenting to me how impatient I was. I took the comment as he was referring to my impatience at that moment (because truthfully it fit in that moment), so I never thought he might have been referring to a bigger picture of Sarah. 

Oh he was totally referring to a bigger picture of Sarah. 

I see now, after that lightbulb explosion of perspective, my impatience could be thwarting my growth and relationships with people! Ahhhh! I want to grow and become better and have good relationships with people.

I like people.

This realization I hope benefits me for the rest if my life, because people, even though it makes things super efficient to do things in a certain order and at a certain time, in the BIG picture, sometimes efficiency doesn't matter as much...

You know, because maybe we need to let ourselves and other people wait for things to happen; Those happenings are part of the real lessons we need to learn... Faith, Hope, Charity, Patience, Follow Through, and all that good stuff. 

Am I the only one who needed that lesson? Hopefully my ramblings made some kind if sense to someone besides myself... 

Now thank you random memory for keeping me humble. Oh wait, it wasn't random the memory came when it did, it came when I was teachable. So Thank You Heavenly Father for loving me enough to humble me and teach me. 

Whittling of a Queen

I LOVE creating art. I love sculpting in clay and metal so this summer I decided to try whittling some wood. I made a chess piece; The Queen to be exact. It was so relaxing and fun! 

Whittling away the queen was freakishly challenging, but freakishly rewarding too. It was cool to start out with a block of wood and come out with something better than I imagined at the end. Here is a pic (it looks a little different now its been varnished, but you get the idea:)

I am so thankful and so blessed with the talents and abilities I've been given. I don't comprehend them and I don't know why Ive been blessed with them, but I really hope that I am using those talents and abilities to the utmost to accomplish to Lords will by serving He and His children as much as I can. 

Which while at camp I've been thinking about what Im going to do when I get home. I can/want to work this semester, unlike other semesters my school load is waaaay less and work is possible, so Im going to try working; Creating, teaching or doing something this semester in the art realm to help better the world around me. I have no clue what it will be yet, but I'm going to do something! I'll keep ya posted on what that might be. 

Camp 2013

I learned my lesson from last year, I had good intentions of writing more about what happened with camp in 2012, but I got overwhelmed with how much did happen that I didn't want to expound on it all once I got back to reality. This summers experiences however, I have a few specific things I know I want to touch on so they will have their own posts. In this post I'll stick with a "what I learned" in general to cover the rest. 

I learned that people can change, but it can also be my perspective of them that changes. I learned that happy places can change and that it wasn't a bad that it did. I learned that concussions suck (future post subject) as do line drive hits with a softball to the shin. Can we say gigantic bruise from mid calf to ankle? 

I learned to stand in holy places (future post subject). I learned that by making promises to myself and The Lord before hard things came up made things waaaay easier when choices had to be made. I learned I don't need a large social circle as long as I had a few good friends I could rely on. 

I learned that age makes a difference in life; especially when looking inward but also when I looked at others wondering why they were doing what they were doing (Future post subject). 

I learned my hair gets these awesome ringlets in the humidity, and I don't mind my grays as much anymore. I learned that thrift store shopping is the absolute way I want to shop, amazing deals on pants, a scarf, earrings, and a purse ;) but can be frustrating when you can't find what you're looking for; an 80's style waffle maker to be precise. 

I learned that sushi was always better when eaten with a good friend and days off relaxing were way better than ones running around. I learned that when it rains for days on end it was worth it to find a happy place, such as creating art with my shoes off, otherwise it was depressing. Cold, wet feet were horrible. I learned to love my new wool socks though. 

I was blessed to experience answered prayers again and again, one being in a bearded wood shop counselor with a good attitude which made for a much enjoyable summer than last year. I learned to better communicate with my co workers and the campers and it was worth it to try to see things from their perspective. 

I learned I should actively try things out of my comfort zone, and that paddle boarding (even on my knees because of high winds and choppy water)was pretty fun. 

I knew this, but it was re emphasized how much I HATED not being able to cook for myself or choose my meals. I learned truly that what I eat affects everything, my attitude, my ability to focus, but my waistline was a big concern. I lost 25lbs before camp and gained 10lbs while there. Boo!!! I learned organic, local, unrefined sugars and flours is the way to go!

I learned that I am still teachable and able to learn in the moment. I learned that the example of two amazing young men has had a great impact on my life. I learned that lefties are very gifted people and deserve to not have to adapt to a right handed world. 

I learned that knowing what to expect from camp made for a very enjoyable summer, a summer of learning, a summer of growth, a summer if fortune. 

Blessings in and of the Temple

Boston Temple July 24, 2013 

Endowment, resting in Celestial beauty, a priesthood blessing, safety, security, and feeling renewed. 

Five months to the day (today is December 24) is when I went through the Boston Temple. I hope I can continue feeling the peace I felt there that day for the rest of my life. What a sweet and inspiring memory. 

It was my last day off at camp and plans fell through with my friend Meganne so I asked to borrow a camp car, got dressed, and drove the two and a half hours to Boston from Fayette, Maine. The AC wasn't working in the car, I had a headache, I was scared of Boston traffic a little, but I wanted to go and serve The Lord and receive the peace He promises when serving Him. So I went. 

I spent a total of four hours in the temple, two hours for the Endowment session, which was only me and one other woman besides the temple workers, and two hours basking in the peace of the Celestial room and getting a priesthood blessing from one of the temple presidency. 

I felt I needed a spiritual recharge, a refocus of sorts. This year at camp it wasn't as hard to keep the Spirit with me because I chose to not go places and be around things that weren't conducive to the Spirit. I chose to try and have a better attitude about people and situations, but I still felt weaker there. I think it had to do with the complete exhaustion stemming from the unhealed concussion, which made it hard to study my scriptures and then the hard work I put in at camp. I also recognize when I get really "busy" my personal prayers are not always as sincere, which I believe weakens us too and at camp I was really busy. 

Feeling weak always has me in awe though, because I am able to recognize the hand of The Lord supporting me during that time of learning. A time of learning that has come either because of my mistakes and imperfections, requiring humility and repentance on my part, or a time of learning that comes just because it does. This learning allows me to have greater faith in Heaven and in knowing God knows what I need to learn to become the best Sarah. 

I chose to ask for a comfort blessing at the temple because I felt I should. How beautiful it was too. I had received a comfort blessing before leaving for camp that didn't necessarily bring me comfort... Truthfully it kinda scared me. However, the lessons of that original blessing were reinforced with different words and greater perspective by being in the temple. I'm to continually keep my eyes open and be aware of my surroundings and I am to look forward to the great day when I can bath my Saviors feet with my tears when he comes to earth again. It was a really beautiful blessing and I felt so very peaceful after. 

I felt safe, I felt refreshed, I felt renewed. 

I know the temple can do that for each of us, every time, if we go with a sincere desire to serve The Lord. 

I. Love. The. Temple. 

Simplification

I have felt a STRONG desire in the last few months to simplify my life. I think it all started when I started to simplify my shopping and eating habits (by the way I am now down 25lbs, and still feel good about making good food choices. Woot! Woot!)

Shopping, cooking, and eating more simply has helped me realize I would like a simple, aka decluttered and more natural, life in more aspects of my daily living. Thought process is as follows: if I feel (key word encompassing spiritual, mental, and physical health) this good now, I can only imagine how good I will feel a year from now. 

What are some of these changes you may ask? They are not in any particular order, but are as follows

1/2) Sticking with simple shopping, farmers market for produce, co-op for other personal and household needs, and thrift stores for everything else. I like the relaxed shopping experiences that come with those three places. While away for the summer, I'll still try to stick with that regimine. 

.75) Guys. As my friend Megan says "go with the flow" ;) I'll try and stay simple and not be the complicated girl. (Update on Tyson, he didn't try for more dates. Which is ok, I can only guess he liked me, but not enough to want to keep pursuing getting to know me more than as a friend. He is still a great guy and is totally helping me out with family names in the temple this summer which is awesome. 

1) I am embracing all my white hair, I have a lot of them people. Going gray/white early runs in the family, but I'm pretty ok with it so far, its a nice white :) and I feel I still look my age. Haha. 

Two) I've been leaning toward more natural and simple cleaning, health, and beauty regimines. Trying to stay away from stronger chemicals in general I guess. Ive been using organic olive oil for my face moisturizer and hand lotion for awhile now :) 

III) My apartment is getting de cluttered when I get home. No joke, I'm telling myself now that I can get rid of all the things I haven't touched in months; bedroom, storage shed, and simplifying of my kitchen are in order.  

2+2) My wardrobe is in the process of a forced downsizing, Im not complaining here at all, bring on having to get smaller clothes. I want thosr smaller clothes to take up even less room in my closet though ;) I've been trying to buy more versatile clothes that can be used in multiple outfits because I like the idea of not having tons of laundry to do too. Just sayin. 

Cinco) Debt and getting out of it. The only debt I have are school loans. I'm feeling I should rock a job next semester while finishing school so I can start to pay off that debt. I should be done in December with my Associate degree, so after that I can start working more to get a good savings established too... who knows, maybe a mission is in my near future :) Wouldn't that be AHHHMAZING??!! I'll keep ya updated. 

I feel those changes folks will be really good for me. Any perspective on simplification y'all would like to share, I would love to hear/read it

 :)

Recognition and Closure

This was a very simple and very sweet learning experience that had me in awe for a few days.

What I recognized and gained closure on was this...

As long as the man I marry loves God more than he loves me all of the fears I've had, that I hadn't realized even existed, can be let go, because if he loves God more than me, he will live a life, and be true to his part as a husband and father that would fulfill and exceed the requirements allowing him to return to live with God after this mortal life is over. 

It was an "ah ha" moment that I had the fears; Not that I want to explain those fears, thats more personal than I want to be on here, but the fears sure do make complete sense once I learned about them. 

Those fears have now been let go and my heart and mind have a peace I didn't know they needed. 

I love our Heavenly Father so much! 

He is so great in His teaching moments with each of us, but I have completely learned I have to do my part to be prepared for said teaching moments by reading the scriptures, listening/reading conference talks, and listening to up lifting messages and music. 

I'll continue to try my best to be prepared for those moments, because I really like all this learning that is happening in my life at the moment. 

Quotes of Comfort

Here are a couple quotes I've come across this week that have brought me further comfort on the subject of imperfections and weaknesses-

President Monson speaking to the Young Women in April 2012, said

"I have spoken over the years with many individuals who have told me, “I have so many problems, such real concerns. I’m overwhelmed with the challenges of life. What can I do?” I have offered to them, and I now offer to you, this specific suggestion: seek heavenly guidance one day at a time. Life by the yard is hard; by the inch it’s a cinch. Each of us can be true for just one day—and then one more and then one more after that—until we’ve lived a lifetime guided by the Spirit, a lifetime close to the Lord, a lifetime of good deeds and righteousness. The Savior promised, “Look unto me, and endure to the end, and ye shall live; for unto him that endureth to the end will I give eternal life.”

This quote was in reference to being obedient, but I felt the "take one day at a time" principle is a completely appreciated perspective to overcoming those imperfections. 

Then there was the quote.

"Let someone love you just the way you are- as flawed as you might be, as unattractive as you sometimes feel, and as unaccomplished as you think you are. To believe that you must hide all the parts of you that are broken, out of fear that someone else is incapable of loving what is less than perfect, is to believe that sunlight is incapable of entering a broken window and illuminating a dark room"

-Marc Hack

I just love it. 

I didn't do my homework to see if it is Marc Hack (not sure exactly who that even is ;) who said it, but the words ring true. The words helped me to see where my insecurities are and what direction I need to go to find further peace in who I am. 

I really do like me, my imperfections and all, I just didn't realize I wasn't being open to the idea that other people, mainly of the male persuasion, could like me with those imperfections too. 

No joke, this had been a very eye opening couple of weeks; I really feel I'm getting to know myself better now. Maybe its that I'm getting older... Or Ive gained wisdom aka earning all my gray hairs ;), I don't know, but I like having perspective into my mind that I hadn't even thought about before. 

Through all if this I have had the blessing of coming closer to my Heavenly Father, because its He who had to hear my pleas for perspective and peace. He has answered those prayers, that I can completely attest to. God loves us and wants to help us become the best we can be, we do need to ask for help though. 

I know to become our best we have to overcome our worst and that is only possible through Jesus Christ. I know Christ loves us and wants the best for us too. I know He is the Refiner who can purify us so we can find JOY in this life and in the eternities to come. 

Life truly is amazing and what a blessing to be living. What a blessing to have joy, even when I know I'm imperfect. 

Weaknesses and Imperfections

About two weekends ago I was thinking a lot about my weaknesses and my imperfections. That Sunday was one of those days that felt like my flaws were these bright shiny neon signs flashing at me from every corner of my mind. 

It was a rough couple days. 

Thankfully it was fast Sunday, so I took the opportunity to ask for help and perspective to find peace again in my always thinking, always active mind; a mind that can help bring peace to my spirit or a mind that can foster self doubt.  

I talked with my Bishop (church leader who oversees our church family, aka "dad" role at church) about my feelings of self doubt... It wasn't necessarily what he said that brought me peace, but his words allowed the Spirit of God to bring me comfort. Comfort that its ok to be imperfect... and in my case, to be an over-thinker sometimes.  

That day the Spirit confirmed to me that we are all imperfect, that each of us has flaws and weaknesses. We each are in families with imperfect people, we will have friendships and work relationships with imperfect people. We. Are. All. Imperfect. 

I guess the main culprit for my self doubt is... Marriage, or the lack there of ;) Ive always been willing to accept the guys imperfections, but didn't realize I wasn't expecting him to accept mine. I had this unrealistic thought I had to be perfect before meeting my ore.

Thankfully I was able to recognize that day that when I get married, I'm going to marry someone just as imperfect as I am. The only perspective I'll need when that happens is... is he willing to work with me through my faults, as I work with him through his? So we can overcome our human natures and become more like Christ and be perfected in Him together. 

It was an intense learning day, and there was more!

Later on in the day a sweet confirmation of the truth came of the importance of seeing our imperfections while I was reading the Book of Mormon, the scripture is Christ speaking and says:

"And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them" (Book of Mormon, Ether 12:27).

WE ARE SHOWN OUR WEAKNESSES WHEN WE COME UNTO CHRIST SO WE CAN BECOME HUMBLE AND FULLY RELY ON HIS GRACE! THROUGH CHRIST OUR WEAKNESSES CAN BECOME STRENGTHS. 

What a blessing. 

This was the truth I needed to learn, it's ok I have my weaknesses and WHAT A BLESSING it is to see/know them; knowing my weaknesses means I am coming to Christ who is the only one who is able to judge those weaknesses, because it is He who carried them all. He is the only way it's possible for me to be better and overcome those weaknesses. 

I dare say I hope for the rest of my life I see my imperfections, its not easy, fun, or comfortable to see our weaknesses/imperfections, but seeing them will mean I'm heading the right direction, towards Christ, and I want that.