There is going to be a musical program (we call them firesides) at church in November and I just agreed to sing a solo... I JUST AGREED TO DO WHAT?!! SING A SOLO!!
Well, let me tell you a little about me and music shall I...
I grew up in a church that had a family who would get up, the wife, husband, and kiddos, and sing songs as special musical numbers during sacrament meeting. I remember thinking at like age 10 that I wanted to one day do that with my family because I remember how good I felt while they were singing and how pretty it sounded. I did not know how to sing. I didn't know what timing was, what a flat or a sharp was, let alone how to make the right sound come out of me. haha.
Fast forward 21 years... I didn't think I was in a place to be comfortable with singing in front of people, but I've humbly realized that the Lord has allowed me to learn and practice being in front of people and trying to sing in tune for the last few years for just this type of occasion. Today, He even impressed upon someone to compliment my singing during Young Women's earlier in the day out of the blue. He knew I would need the compliment that I sounded okay, which I doubted until she told me otherwise, so I would say yes to doing this solo (which was asked of me hours later by someone who had no clue of the previous conversation)... tricky tricky. haha.
It has taken me a long time to build up the knowledge I have about music, which is still not a lot (truthfully, I can't sight read at all, but I do recognize when the notes move around ;), to even be comfortable singing in my church choir. I should tell ya, in Mormon church choirs (not the Mormon Tabernacle Choir mind you, just members of the church singing in their local congregation), you don't have to sing well, you kinda just have to show up and you're in. I definitely fit into the latter qualifications as a member of choirs for years, but well, okay, now I can sing in tune sometimes because, holy momma, I sing in my car a lot, and may or may not practice leading music while driving too, and really I sing whenever I am by myself, so maybe, just maybe, I have over the last couple years gotten better at singing in tune on purpose more often than not.
However, I'm still in awe that I said yes, and ask myself why in the world would I agree to sing a solo, in front of people?!
Honestly, I may or may not have secretly been wanting to sing in front of people for a few months now... I know, I'm weird!
It scares me and I'm still not that good at it! Thankfully, the director of the program said I can find someone to sing with me if I want too... which I may end up doing if my anxiety about it flares up or I feel impressed to do so, but I know I can do anything with the help of the Lord. I realize that getting over my fear of it now will also help me be better at it in the future. I really do love inviting the Spirit of God with song and would love to be one of those people who can help others feel the Love of God through uplifting words and music too. I love music as a missionary tool and the use of it in my home as a testifier of truth. I'm trying out something scary to help me become better at it. I guess it'll help me to grow as a person because it will challenge me to actually practice and become better at something which is an amazing perk.
Tonight is when the prayers start that I don't pass out, that I learn the music and my part and that everything will turn out great.
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