A lesson learned from crushin'

One of the lessons I've learned during this crushin' on the Prof is that the guys I've thought I liked, I um, don't think I really liked them that much. 

I think I built the previous crushes up so much in my head as super duper amazing that I wasn't able to see the real them, ok truthfully I don't know if I wanted to see the real them. I for sure short changed them and myself for not being willing to see the real them, but it is an area I apparently need to grow and learn in. Hopefully this crush is a sign that I'm learning. Fingers crossed and prayers said. 

Don't get me wrong, I think Prof is amazing, but somehow, I've recognized his imperfections along the way as I've gotten to know him and never wanted to put him above myself. If that makes sense. I see us as equals which I've not experienced with guys I've "liked" in the past. It's been really interesting to try and figure out why I've put guys above myself while also trying to just accept that I did and move on. I haven't fine tuned the "why" yet, but I'm coming around in the accepting part quite nicely ;)

I think its funny too that previous crushes I've gone on dates with, but not with him. Its weird. I've recognized I wasn't really friends with the previous guys, they got put in the crush zone too quickly. Prof for sure got put in the "he's cute" zone at first, but not the full crush zone for a good while. I feel with time we've become friends, not the social hanging out friends yet, but the "we can talk about more personal stuff and care about what's happening in the life of the other person", kind of friends. I'm pro our kind of friendship. 

I let him know I like him, but he let me know he's not interested in dating anyone right now except himself and his art. I told him I think he's missing out because there are a lot of perks that come with dating me besides my cooking ;) but being just friends is totally cool with me. I would rather be just friends than miss out on his awesomeness. Whether there is a date in our future or not, he is still good people, and someone I highly respect. 

I will probably continue to check him out when I see him, and told him such, but there will be a whole new pool of guys to check out in my near future. Good ole UofA. Lol. I'll try and remember the lessons I've learned though and go the route of sticking with seeing the reality of a guy and building a friendship first.