Whittling of a Queen

I LOVE creating art. I love sculpting in clay and metal so this summer I decided to try whittling some wood. I made a chess piece; The Queen to be exact. It was so relaxing and fun! 

Whittling away the queen was freakishly challenging, but freakishly rewarding too. It was cool to start out with a block of wood and come out with something better than I imagined at the end. Here is a pic (it looks a little different now its been varnished, but you get the idea:)

I am so thankful and so blessed with the talents and abilities I've been given. I don't comprehend them and I don't know why Ive been blessed with them, but I really hope that I am using those talents and abilities to the utmost to accomplish to Lords will by serving He and His children as much as I can. 

Which while at camp I've been thinking about what Im going to do when I get home. I can/want to work this semester, unlike other semesters my school load is waaaay less and work is possible, so Im going to try working; Creating, teaching or doing something this semester in the art realm to help better the world around me. I have no clue what it will be yet, but I'm going to do something! I'll keep ya posted on what that might be. 

Camp 2013

I learned my lesson from last year, I had good intentions of writing more about what happened with camp in 2012, but I got overwhelmed with how much did happen that I didn't want to expound on it all once I got back to reality. This summers experiences however, I have a few specific things I know I want to touch on so they will have their own posts. In this post I'll stick with a "what I learned" in general to cover the rest. 

I learned that people can change, but it can also be my perspective of them that changes. I learned that happy places can change and that it wasn't a bad that it did. I learned that concussions suck (future post subject) as do line drive hits with a softball to the shin. Can we say gigantic bruise from mid calf to ankle? 

I learned to stand in holy places (future post subject). I learned that by making promises to myself and The Lord before hard things came up made things waaaay easier when choices had to be made. I learned I don't need a large social circle as long as I had a few good friends I could rely on. 

I learned that age makes a difference in life; especially when looking inward but also when I looked at others wondering why they were doing what they were doing (Future post subject). 

I learned my hair gets these awesome ringlets in the humidity, and I don't mind my grays as much anymore. I learned that thrift store shopping is the absolute way I want to shop, amazing deals on pants, a scarf, earrings, and a purse ;) but can be frustrating when you can't find what you're looking for; an 80's style waffle maker to be precise. 

I learned that sushi was always better when eaten with a good friend and days off relaxing were way better than ones running around. I learned that when it rains for days on end it was worth it to find a happy place, such as creating art with my shoes off, otherwise it was depressing. Cold, wet feet were horrible. I learned to love my new wool socks though. 

I was blessed to experience answered prayers again and again, one being in a bearded wood shop counselor with a good attitude which made for a much enjoyable summer than last year. I learned to better communicate with my co workers and the campers and it was worth it to try to see things from their perspective. 

I learned I should actively try things out of my comfort zone, and that paddle boarding (even on my knees because of high winds and choppy water)was pretty fun. 

I knew this, but it was re emphasized how much I HATED not being able to cook for myself or choose my meals. I learned truly that what I eat affects everything, my attitude, my ability to focus, but my waistline was a big concern. I lost 25lbs before camp and gained 10lbs while there. Boo!!! I learned organic, local, unrefined sugars and flours is the way to go!

I learned that I am still teachable and able to learn in the moment. I learned that the example of two amazing young men has had a great impact on my life. I learned that lefties are very gifted people and deserve to not have to adapt to a right handed world. 

I learned that knowing what to expect from camp made for a very enjoyable summer, a summer of learning, a summer of growth, a summer if fortune. 

Blessings in and of the Temple

Boston Temple July 24, 2013 

Endowment, resting in Celestial beauty, a priesthood blessing, safety, security, and feeling renewed. 

Five months to the day (today is December 24) is when I went through the Boston Temple. I hope I can continue feeling the peace I felt there that day for the rest of my life. What a sweet and inspiring memory. 

It was my last day off at camp and plans fell through with my friend Meganne so I asked to borrow a camp car, got dressed, and drove the two and a half hours to Boston from Fayette, Maine. The AC wasn't working in the car, I had a headache, I was scared of Boston traffic a little, but I wanted to go and serve The Lord and receive the peace He promises when serving Him. So I went. 

I spent a total of four hours in the temple, two hours for the Endowment session, which was only me and one other woman besides the temple workers, and two hours basking in the peace of the Celestial room and getting a priesthood blessing from one of the temple presidency. 

I felt I needed a spiritual recharge, a refocus of sorts. This year at camp it wasn't as hard to keep the Spirit with me because I chose to not go places and be around things that weren't conducive to the Spirit. I chose to try and have a better attitude about people and situations, but I still felt weaker there. I think it had to do with the complete exhaustion stemming from the unhealed concussion, which made it hard to study my scriptures and then the hard work I put in at camp. I also recognize when I get really "busy" my personal prayers are not always as sincere, which I believe weakens us too and at camp I was really busy. 

Feeling weak always has me in awe though, because I am able to recognize the hand of The Lord supporting me during that time of learning. A time of learning that has come either because of my mistakes and imperfections, requiring humility and repentance on my part, or a time of learning that comes just because it does. This learning allows me to have greater faith in Heaven and in knowing God knows what I need to learn to become the best Sarah. 

I chose to ask for a comfort blessing at the temple because I felt I should. How beautiful it was too. I had received a comfort blessing before leaving for camp that didn't necessarily bring me comfort... Truthfully it kinda scared me. However, the lessons of that original blessing were reinforced with different words and greater perspective by being in the temple. I'm to continually keep my eyes open and be aware of my surroundings and I am to look forward to the great day when I can bath my Saviors feet with my tears when he comes to earth again. It was a really beautiful blessing and I felt so very peaceful after. 

I felt safe, I felt refreshed, I felt renewed. 

I know the temple can do that for each of us, every time, if we go with a sincere desire to serve The Lord. 

I. Love. The. Temple. 

Simplification

I have felt a STRONG desire in the last few months to simplify my life. I think it all started when I started to simplify my shopping and eating habits (by the way I am now down 25lbs, and still feel good about making good food choices. Woot! Woot!)

Shopping, cooking, and eating more simply has helped me realize I would like a simple, aka decluttered and more natural, life in more aspects of my daily living. Thought process is as follows: if I feel (key word encompassing spiritual, mental, and physical health) this good now, I can only imagine how good I will feel a year from now. 

What are some of these changes you may ask? They are not in any particular order, but are as follows

1/2) Sticking with simple shopping, farmers market for produce, co-op for other personal and household needs, and thrift stores for everything else. I like the relaxed shopping experiences that come with those three places. While away for the summer, I'll still try to stick with that regimine. 

.75) Guys. As my friend Megan says "go with the flow" ;) I'll try and stay simple and not be the complicated girl. (Update on Tyson, he didn't try for more dates. Which is ok, I can only guess he liked me, but not enough to want to keep pursuing getting to know me more than as a friend. He is still a great guy and is totally helping me out with family names in the temple this summer which is awesome. 

1) I am embracing all my white hair, I have a lot of them people. Going gray/white early runs in the family, but I'm pretty ok with it so far, its a nice white :) and I feel I still look my age. Haha. 

Two) I've been leaning toward more natural and simple cleaning, health, and beauty regimines. Trying to stay away from stronger chemicals in general I guess. Ive been using organic olive oil for my face moisturizer and hand lotion for awhile now :) 

III) My apartment is getting de cluttered when I get home. No joke, I'm telling myself now that I can get rid of all the things I haven't touched in months; bedroom, storage shed, and simplifying of my kitchen are in order.  

2+2) My wardrobe is in the process of a forced downsizing, Im not complaining here at all, bring on having to get smaller clothes. I want thosr smaller clothes to take up even less room in my closet though ;) I've been trying to buy more versatile clothes that can be used in multiple outfits because I like the idea of not having tons of laundry to do too. Just sayin. 

Cinco) Debt and getting out of it. The only debt I have are school loans. I'm feeling I should rock a job next semester while finishing school so I can start to pay off that debt. I should be done in December with my Associate degree, so after that I can start working more to get a good savings established too... who knows, maybe a mission is in my near future :) Wouldn't that be AHHHMAZING??!! I'll keep ya updated. 

I feel those changes folks will be really good for me. Any perspective on simplification y'all would like to share, I would love to hear/read it

 :)

Recognition and Closure

This was a very simple and very sweet learning experience that had me in awe for a few days.

What I recognized and gained closure on was this...

As long as the man I marry loves God more than he loves me all of the fears I've had, that I hadn't realized even existed, can be let go, because if he loves God more than me, he will live a life, and be true to his part as a husband and father that would fulfill and exceed the requirements allowing him to return to live with God after this mortal life is over. 

It was an "ah ha" moment that I had the fears; Not that I want to explain those fears, thats more personal than I want to be on here, but the fears sure do make complete sense once I learned about them. 

Those fears have now been let go and my heart and mind have a peace I didn't know they needed. 

I love our Heavenly Father so much! 

He is so great in His teaching moments with each of us, but I have completely learned I have to do my part to be prepared for said teaching moments by reading the scriptures, listening/reading conference talks, and listening to up lifting messages and music. 

I'll continue to try my best to be prepared for those moments, because I really like all this learning that is happening in my life at the moment. 

Quotes of Comfort

Here are a couple quotes I've come across this week that have brought me further comfort on the subject of imperfections and weaknesses-

President Monson speaking to the Young Women in April 2012, said

"I have spoken over the years with many individuals who have told me, “I have so many problems, such real concerns. I’m overwhelmed with the challenges of life. What can I do?” I have offered to them, and I now offer to you, this specific suggestion: seek heavenly guidance one day at a time. Life by the yard is hard; by the inch it’s a cinch. Each of us can be true for just one day—and then one more and then one more after that—until we’ve lived a lifetime guided by the Spirit, a lifetime close to the Lord, a lifetime of good deeds and righteousness. The Savior promised, “Look unto me, and endure to the end, and ye shall live; for unto him that endureth to the end will I give eternal life.”

This quote was in reference to being obedient, but I felt the "take one day at a time" principle is a completely appreciated perspective to overcoming those imperfections. 

Then there was the quote.

"Let someone love you just the way you are- as flawed as you might be, as unattractive as you sometimes feel, and as unaccomplished as you think you are. To believe that you must hide all the parts of you that are broken, out of fear that someone else is incapable of loving what is less than perfect, is to believe that sunlight is incapable of entering a broken window and illuminating a dark room"

-Marc Hack

I just love it. 

I didn't do my homework to see if it is Marc Hack (not sure exactly who that even is ;) who said it, but the words ring true. The words helped me to see where my insecurities are and what direction I need to go to find further peace in who I am. 

I really do like me, my imperfections and all, I just didn't realize I wasn't being open to the idea that other people, mainly of the male persuasion, could like me with those imperfections too. 

No joke, this had been a very eye opening couple of weeks; I really feel I'm getting to know myself better now. Maybe its that I'm getting older... Or Ive gained wisdom aka earning all my gray hairs ;), I don't know, but I like having perspective into my mind that I hadn't even thought about before. 

Through all if this I have had the blessing of coming closer to my Heavenly Father, because its He who had to hear my pleas for perspective and peace. He has answered those prayers, that I can completely attest to. God loves us and wants to help us become the best we can be, we do need to ask for help though. 

I know to become our best we have to overcome our worst and that is only possible through Jesus Christ. I know Christ loves us and wants the best for us too. I know He is the Refiner who can purify us so we can find JOY in this life and in the eternities to come. 

Life truly is amazing and what a blessing to be living. What a blessing to have joy, even when I know I'm imperfect. 

Weaknesses and Imperfections

About two weekends ago I was thinking a lot about my weaknesses and my imperfections. That Sunday was one of those days that felt like my flaws were these bright shiny neon signs flashing at me from every corner of my mind. 

It was a rough couple days. 

Thankfully it was fast Sunday, so I took the opportunity to ask for help and perspective to find peace again in my always thinking, always active mind; a mind that can help bring peace to my spirit or a mind that can foster self doubt.  

I talked with my Bishop (church leader who oversees our church family, aka "dad" role at church) about my feelings of self doubt... It wasn't necessarily what he said that brought me peace, but his words allowed the Spirit of God to bring me comfort. Comfort that its ok to be imperfect... and in my case, to be an over-thinker sometimes.  

That day the Spirit confirmed to me that we are all imperfect, that each of us has flaws and weaknesses. We each are in families with imperfect people, we will have friendships and work relationships with imperfect people. We. Are. All. Imperfect. 

I guess the main culprit for my self doubt is... Marriage, or the lack there of ;) Ive always been willing to accept the guys imperfections, but didn't realize I wasn't expecting him to accept mine. I had this unrealistic thought I had to be perfect before meeting my ore.

Thankfully I was able to recognize that day that when I get married, I'm going to marry someone just as imperfect as I am. The only perspective I'll need when that happens is... is he willing to work with me through my faults, as I work with him through his? So we can overcome our human natures and become more like Christ and be perfected in Him together. 

It was an intense learning day, and there was more!

Later on in the day a sweet confirmation of the truth came of the importance of seeing our imperfections while I was reading the Book of Mormon, the scripture is Christ speaking and says:

"And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them" (Book of Mormon, Ether 12:27).

WE ARE SHOWN OUR WEAKNESSES WHEN WE COME UNTO CHRIST SO WE CAN BECOME HUMBLE AND FULLY RELY ON HIS GRACE! THROUGH CHRIST OUR WEAKNESSES CAN BECOME STRENGTHS. 

What a blessing. 

This was the truth I needed to learn, it's ok I have my weaknesses and WHAT A BLESSING it is to see/know them; knowing my weaknesses means I am coming to Christ who is the only one who is able to judge those weaknesses, because it is He who carried them all. He is the only way it's possible for me to be better and overcome those weaknesses. 

I dare say I hope for the rest of my life I see my imperfections, its not easy, fun, or comfortable to see our weaknesses/imperfections, but seeing them will mean I'm heading the right direction, towards Christ, and I want that.