Forgin' some tools

I know that on multiple occasions in my blog that I have stated how much I love that we are called the “Chosen Generation”. I also know I have told you about my rant of our responsibility to the “Rising Generation”, but I haven’t actually ranted to ya’ll about it yet. Since this last week I have had some really cool and amazing insight on the subject, I’ve decided that today is the day to share.

OK my basic belief is simple, but I’ll expound on it a little, don’t you worry.

And it is simply this: We are called the “Chosen Generation” not because of our greatness, but because of who we will be raising! We are teaching the generation who will be here to herald the Saviors Second Coming. We are different and blessed so that we can prepare these kids, so they will be prepared for the Him.

Do we have a great responsibility? YES!!!

I feel very strongly that we need to better ourselves so that we can better our children. We have to prepare them against all that is happening and going to happen in this world. Our homes need to be built on a solid foundation, not a sandy one. Think of the Primary song, “The Wise Man Built His House Upon a Rock”. Our homes need to be a place of refuge, a place where the Gospel may be taught without interference from the evil one.

We need to do everything for these blessed children of God! We have been given the chance to help them succeed! Agency will play a role, it has since the beginning, but if we can teach and be a positive example of love, sacrifice, and service, we will be giving these kids the best chance for success. We as the “parents” or in my case, the aunt and primary teacher have the responsibility to learn all that we can and be willing to teach at every opportunity given! Learning about and applying faith, hope, and charity will be essential in these childrens future.

So now to tie it all in with "Findin' My Ore" with the cool and amazing insight I’ve received this week…

If you’ve read my first post and the interpretation of the scriptures in 1Nephi that started said blog, you will remember that Ore = Eternal Companion, Tools = Children, and Ship = Eternal Family. Let's talk about forgin' some tools! There is such a great importance in their creation. From the need to find and create them with the right “ore” to applying the right amount of pressure and heat, or “forging”, to give them their strength.

Hehe, this is going to be fun!

The thought came into my mind a few days ago that we will need to help the Lord in creating His Tools… those Tools that will help Him to accomplish His purpose. The purpose that will allow us to return to live with Him and our Savior. There is a definite distinction between the work that can be accomplished with a well made tool and a tool that isn’t made as well.

I see now that finding the right ore is essential! (Not that I didn’t know that before, it was just reaffirmed) Each tool will need to be made with the right metal combination. We should be similar enough that our ores will be able to combine and create the strongest metal possible so that the tool made will be more pure and the bonds will be strong and linked together as if they are one. Our faith and testimonies should be similar so that when the tools are forged, when the heat and the pressure come, the tool will be at its strongest and not have any weak points. They are not going to be all the same type of tool either. They shouldn’t have to be! If He didn’t have an array of tools at His disposal, the work would be a lot harder. Each of His tools will have a purpose!

We should have the desire to forge these tools so that when they are called up to be used in the Master’s hands, they will be a well made tool, a tool that has been strengthened because of the bonds of the ore that were brought together to form it. The process of forging should take time, otherwise the tool will be weak and the possibility of breaking will be greater. Remember though that the tools don’t just gain shape and strength immediately. We as “parents” need to make each hammer stroke, heat application, and final shaping with purpose and with love. We need to gently shape them from the beginning! Our ultimate goal with these tools should be that through the Refiners Fire of Jesus Christ they can be used in the “Master’s Hands”, being able to help accomplish His work.

See! I told you it was cool! And you can go even further with this analogy. I seriously love it! I love it, I love it, I love it!

Seriously Yo, I need to “Find My Ore”! *grin*

My best friend, you're amazing just the way you are!

Music that has me thinking...

Bruno Mars-

Oh, her eyes, her eyes make the stars look like they're not shinin'
Her hair, her hair falls perfectly without her tryin'
She's so beautiful
And I tell her everyday

Yeah, I know, I know when I compliment her, she won't believe me
And it's so, it's so sad to think that she don't see what I see
But every time she asks me do I look okay?
I say

When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
'Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are

And when you smile
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
'Cause girl, you're amazing
Just the way you are

Her lips, her lips, I could kiss them all day if she'd let me
Her laugh her laugh, she hates but I think it's so sexy
She's so beautiful
And I tell her everyday

Oh, you know, you know, you know I'd never ask you to change
If perfect's what you're searching for, then just stay the same
So don't even bother asking if you look okay
You know I'll say

When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
'Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are

And when you smile
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
'Cause girl, you're amazing
Just the way you are

The way you are
The way you are
Girl, you're amazing
Just the way you are

When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
'Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are

And when you smile
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
'Cause girl, you're amazing
Just the way you are, yeah

and

Weezer-

When everything is wrong I come talk to you
You make things alright when I'm feeling blue

You are such a blessing
And I won't be messing

With the one thing that brings light to all my darkness

You're my best friend
And I love you (love you)
And I love you (love you)
Yes I do

There is no other one who can take your place
I feel happy inside when I see your face

I hope you believe me
Cause I speak sincerely

And I mean it when I tell you that I need you

You're my best friend
And I love you (love you)
And I love you (love you)
Yes I do

I'm here right beside you
I will never leave you

And I feel the pain you feel when you start crying

You're my best friend
And I love you (love you)
And I love you (love you)
Yes I do

You're my best friend
And I love you (love you)
And I love you (love you)
Yes I do

Yes I do
Yes I do

When I "Find my Ore" these are two songs that I truly hope will be on repeat in both of our minds... Ahhh, so sweet!

Talk Time Yet Again.

So being in this family ward, which was the ward I had been in before moving up to Salt Lake in 2008, is pretty amazing! It's funny to see the changes that have come over me in the past few years and the changes that have come over the ward. I am truly blessed to be here. New ward also meant Talk time yet again. Soon enough, my Bishop came a askin'. I spoke at the end of February.

It was a really sweet experience preparing for it. I had the chance to fast, pray, and study about my subject. Again, I love that all the subjects I have ever been asked to speak on have influenced me and been just what I needed at the time. It's the Lord seeing the big picture and what we need in our lives thing again. I love the Gospel of Jesus Christ and am so thankful for each chance I have been given to increase my testimony of it. I want to share my talk with you all, so here it be.

*Disclaimer* My Bishop told me to make it a 15-20 min talk, that is why it's long, if you read fast though... it's not that bad *wink*

Hi. I am very thankful to be speaking today and very grateful for my topic, Elder Wirthlins talk from April 2008; “Concern for the One”. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised by that I have benefited more from preparing this talk than you might by listening to it.

I know that “there shall be one fold, and one shepherd.” As said in John 10:16 I also know that our Heavenly Father has placed people on this earth to be Christ like examples, other “shepherds”. They are Christ like examples who will lead, guide, and protect us. They will be people who care for the Lord’s children.
I look to the story of our Saviors birth to bring perspective on being one of those shepherds… Luke 1:8-20

“…there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them… the angel said… behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy… For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger… the shepherds said one to another, Let us now go even unto Bethlehem... And they came with hast, and found Mary, and Joseph, and the babe lying in a manger. And when they had seen it, they made known abroad the saying which was told them concerning this child… And the shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things that they had heard and seen, as it was told unto them.

There are “shepherds” who are following this example in our lives today. Shepherds who keep watch over their flocks, shepherds who would head a messenger from the Lord. They will be shepherds who will go and do. They will also be those who testify of Jesus Christ, His birth and His divinity. They glory and give praise to God. Do you know anyone in your life that fits this definition of a “shepherd”? They will be followers to the admonition later given by Christ who said, “What manner of men ought ye to be? Verily I say unto you, even as I am”.

I want to emphasize that not all “shepherds” will look, act, think, or speak alike. I encourage you to look around you today and over the next week to see who has been placed in your life to guide and protect you. I guarantee that you will see, to quote Elder Wirthlin, that “The Lord did not people the earth with a vibrant orchestra of personalities only to value the piccolos of the world. Every instrument is precious and adds to the complex beauty of the symphony. All of Heavenly Father’s children are different in some degree, yet each has his own beautiful sound that adds depth and richness to the whole.

Are we letting those individual and beautiful sounds of the orchestra around us, those shepherds, add depth and richness to our lives?

I know that the “One Shepherd” is Jesus Christ, our Savior. He is The Good Shepherd. He is our perfect example, who we should try and emulate. He was born, He lived, and He died for us. Jesus Christ is the Son of God. We can see the blessings that are promised because He is our “Good Shepherd” as we read in Ezekial 34:23-31. We should always remember that Christ is our brother and He is the reason by which we can return to live with our Heavenly Father. Always remember though that each of us has the same divine parentage. We are all God’s children.

I know that the “One Fold” is The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. This Gospel bears His name. I know that we are guided by a Prophet of the Lord, he who yields all of the keys of the Holy Priesthood. I know that Christ chooses His Prophets. I know As Elder Wirthlin did that President Monson “is a mighty man of Israel who was foreordained to preside over this Church.”

Elder Wirthlin further describes President Monson’s character by saying: “While it is a complement to him that many of the great and mighty of this world know and honor him, perhaps it is an even greater tribute that many of the lowly call him friend. To his core, President Monson is kind and compassionate. His words and deeds exemplify his concern for the one.” His is a character that I think we should all try to emulate because he is a shepherd of Christ’s fold.

I also know that we were each born in a time when we would be needed to do the work of the Lord. I know that the rising generation truly is “A Chosen Generation”, a generation that if we trust in the Lord, we will succeed in all that He has asked us to do, a generation that has the chance to prepare the world to receive her “Good Shepherd” once more. I love the words spoken in one of my favorite primary songs… “We have been saved for these latter days, to build His kingdom in righteous ways. We hear the words the Prophet declares, let all whose worthy go forth and share. We are as the army of Helaman, we have been taught in our youth, and we will be the Lord’s missionaries to bring the world His truth.”

Because I know all of these things, I also know that Bishop Gonzales has been called of God to preside over this ward, to be another one of our “Shepherds”. His influence and instruction can guide us to live our lives in a way that will help us gain an eternal perspective and to help us to obtain eternal life. I know that each of us can learn from listening and applying his counsel to our lives because it is he who is Our Common Judge in Israel.

Also, the leaders and teachers in the Midvale Ward have been called of God. And when they are doing His will, they will not lead us astray. They will be shepherds who will continually lead us to Christ. Our Visiting and Home Teaching assignments have been prayed about and have the same shepherding ability to bring one to Christ. We are all brothers and sisters and by knowing this it should increase our willingness to be a true disciple of Jesus Christ, always being concerned for the one.

Quoting Elder Wirthlin, “Jesus Christ is our greatest example. He was surrounded by multitudes and spoke to thousands, yet He always had concern for the one. “For the Son of man is come to save that which was lost,” He said. “What man of you, having an hundred sheep if he lose one of them, doth not leave the ninety and nine in the wilderness, and go after that which is lost, until he find it?”
This instruction applies to all who follow Him. We are commanded to seek out those who are lost. We who are our brother’s keeper. We cannot neglect this commission given by our Savior. We must be concerned for the one.”
When Bishop extended the call to speak today, he included that I should share some of my personal experiences with “Concern for the One”. While reflecting on my past and looking for experiences that would help convey the Spirit of being “Concerned for the One”, I have humbly realized that I’ve been the lost sheep more often than I thought. So now I want to share with you some of my story…

When I was 12 and 13, I really liked going to Young Women’s and really loved being worthy to do Baptisms for The Dead. I had amazing leaders in my ward, who always gave lessons where I felt the Spirit and they taught me about service. I knew my leaders loved me and wanted to help me in whatever way they could. I was what you would call an innocent and naïve girl… and then 8th grade hit! Soon enough the world came knocking and sadly, I answered.

That year had started out fine, but within the first couple of weeks, I had made some friends who weren’t the best examples. I started watching TV shows and movies that were popular, but had no value to them, just bad examples and bad language. I had started to steal and occasionally smoke. By the time I was half way through my freshman year of high school, I was only occasionally going to church and seminary was the farthest things from my mind.

High school was where I started to make more friends. The majority of my friends were not members. Which isn’t always bad, but in this case, it was not very good. Their parents didn’t have the same values as my mom did, so I found myself spending a lot of time at their houses, away from my own home. I felt guilty whenever I was home, so it made sense to not be there.

I was missing a lot of school, signing my mom’s name to my absent/tardy notes and had started doing recreational drugs. By then I was lying to cover up the stuff I was doing, mainly because I smelled bad from my new habit of smoking every day. Not to mention, my language was horrible, and I had given myself the majority of the 15 piercings I have in my ears. The sad part looking back was that toward the end of that year I had become the friend who was the bad example, not them.

I lived life that way until we moved into a new house and new ward when I was almost 16. A little over 2 years of specialness was enough for my mom. I know she was praying for me and her prayers were answered when I said ok after she suggested I try out our new ward and see if I liked Young Women’s. Fancy that, I did like it. My leaders were yet again amazing! They were exactly what I needed at that time of my life. The ward was a little weird as a whole, but they were family and I had no doubt in my mind that they loved me and wanted the best for me!

I still wasn’t fully active, but I did however stop doing the majority of the bad things I was doing, like stealing, smoking, and drugs. I had stopped hanging out with some of my old friends and started to make new ones. I also had by then talked to my Bishop about a few things. I coasted on that train from semi active to fully active during the summer before my junior year.

It was during the beginning of my junior year when I met Peter. I truly believe that the Lord placed him in my path to help me become a better person. Peter was truly AHHHMAZING! He loved his family and was a great friend. He was strong in the Gospel. He was always kind and loving to those around him and a really good example. He was funny, really cute and had an amazing singing voice. He was two years older than me, which made him 18 ½. He was a good Mormon boy, which meant that he was preparing to go on a mission at 19 and serve the Lord.

Peter had overcome some pretty big obstacle to be able to go on that mission. He was hit by a car when he was 7. He was wheelchair bound up until his mid teens, when he had gained enough strength to move up to using crutches to get around. He still didn’t have the full use of his legs, but that never stopped him from accomplishing his dream of serving a mission. He got called to San Francisco and left toward the end of my junior year. I missed having that friendship, but I knew everything would be ok. He had helped me to increase my testimony of trying to be a good person and the influence that can come from being positive rather than negative.

I also learned from our friendship that I wanted to have a good guy like him someday, a man who was strong in the Gospel and who loved the Lord as much as me and someone who looked to God and Christ for his answers. A man who set goals and did whatever he could to accomplish them. A man who served willingly and loved openly and gave all he had to follow the counsel of the Prophets of God. I knew however that I needed make more changes in my life for that to ever be a reality. So I started to make changes.

Around this same time President Hinckley had given the commandment for women to only wear one pair of earrings. I really liked all of my piercings, I thought they were cute, but I decided to try my faith, so I took them all out except for my original pair. I noticed a difference within myself after listening to his counsel. That simple test has helped me to keep making more changes. I started to do other things the Lord has commanded us to do. I started praying more frequently, I started to read my scriptures, I paid my tithing and I had taken the opportunity to fast for the first time. I was really feeling good!

Life for the next couple of years had its ups and downs because I was trying to be in the world, but not of it. I’ve learned that I can never deny the love the Lord has had for me. He has placed pretty amazing Shepherds to look after me during these years of finding myself. It’s funny that in finding myself, I totally lost myself, but Christ was always there to redirect and guide me, helping me to find my true self. I have learned the true definition of charity; the highest, noblest, strongest kind of love, not merely affection; the pure love of Christ through those who cared for, searched for, and brought me back home when I strayed.

I am here today, because there were people in my life who were concerned for the “one”.

Heavenly Father gave me a mom who never lost hope in finding me and guiding me back to Christ. I think of the scripture; Mosiah 27:14 where we learn that because Alma the elder “prayed with much faith” that his son might be brought to the knowledge of the truth that he was blessed with an answer to that prayer. Alma the younger came back into the fold of God because of the faithful prayers of a loving parent on his behalf.

The Lord gave me leaders in my ward who didn’t judge me. They loved me. They saw and encouraged my true potential. They taught me the Gospel of Jesus Christ. He gave me good friends who were amazing examples and specifically someone who raised my view upward to the Temple.

I look back and am thankful that my life story has a better chance of having a happy ending now because I have learned and am still learning from my mistakes. The pain and the tears still come when I stray, because I am not perfect. I pray though that when I stray, the shepherds in my life will still be “concerned for the one”. When I get lost though, I know where I can look to find my way back. I hope I can always see my “shepherds”, my guides. I look to my Savior. I look to my loving family, to friends who influence me to do good. I look to my ward family who has always been willing to teach me to be more Christ like. I know that in my past, I had been losing myself in the world, letting pride guide me rather than humility.

I have learned that living the Gospel of Jesus Christ is a decision you must make every single day. We have been given a gift with this life, with mortality. We should live to have Joy. True joy comes from the knowledge of the Plan of Salvation, knowing where we came from, why we are here, and where we are going. In this life we will be tried, we will love, and we will grow. It won’t always be easy, but when we rely upon Jesus Christ, we can have the feeling of the warmth of “The Good Shepherd” carrying us rather than feeling cold and lonely from being “lost”.

I am thankful for my life and give all the credit to any success I may have to my Father in Heaven. He loves me, and has continually guided His Shepherds to find me and for that I am thankful. These shepherds were able to carry and help me through living their testimony of Jesus Christ. I pray that we may all be able to live our testimony of Jesus Christ.

I want to close with words from a well know hymn…

“The world has need of willing men who wear the workers seal.
Come, help the good work move along; Put your shoulder to the wheel.
The Church has need of helping hands, and hearts that know and feel.
The work to do is here for you; Put your shoulder to the wheel.
Then don’t stand idly looking on; The fight with sin is real.
It will be long but must go on; Put your shoulder to the wheel.
Then work and watch and fight and pray with all your might and zeal.
Push every worthy work along; Put your shoulder to the wheel.

In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

To Flirt or Not To Flirt. That is the question.

Ore Finding… Update time.

Surprise, surprise! Since I have been here in Tucson, going on 4 months now, I haven’t been on a single date. Not a one. I’m not saying that I haven’t met some nice guys, but they have not taken the opportunity to ask this amazing girl out. Ok, Ok, I didn’t ask them out either. Pish Posh. Maybe I am not the kind of girl who really wants to do the asking anyway. All talk and no game. Well sorta.

I just realized that I don’t mind asking the guy out after I’ve gotten to know him. So maybe those nice guys I have met recently will be in future posts since I still need time to get to know them. I’ve also come to the conclusion that flirting is SO not my thing! Notice the exclamation point? So maybe the nice guys haven’t asked said amazing girl out because they didn’t know she was interested either? Either way, here is hoping for future blog worthy dates.

Flirting is something new to work on I guess, another chance to get out of my comfort zone. Gotta love those chances for growth, who would have guessed that flirting would be one of those areas I needed to grow in? Well, besides the fact that I will be 29 in less than 3 months and am still single. I should have accepted the fact of being bad at flirting waaaaaaay sooner! Haha. I’ll try, so don’t you worry I’ll let ya know when there are fun tales to tell with that lesson of growth in that area. Awkward flirting stories are always a good thing.

Anywho, since there are no current dating stories, dot. dot. dot. I’ll tell ya one I’ve been holding onto for awhile. *grin*

Ok… where to start? Where to start… I guess at the beginning will work.

I met Kent* back in the early fall of 2009. He’s a cute one. He’s really smart, funny, and I really easy to talk to. He has that cheesy sense of humor that’s really cute. More important than all of that is the fact that he is a good man. He is spiritually strong and a hard worker. He has a good job that he loves. One of the bad things about him though, was that when I met him he had a girlfriend. A girlfriend! I know I was sad too!

He not only had a girlfriend, but a girlfriend who looked and seemed completely different than me. When you see the girlfriend of a crush and you look a lot different from them, you really wonder if the crush could actually be attracted to you. Could I be his type?

So I tried to keep my crush on him at bay. It worked for awhile… Over the following months though, we talked and were able to get to know each other more. The crush at bay did work in the aspect that I didn’t flirt with him out right, which really wasn’t hard because again flirting is not my style.

It didn’t always work because come on folks; a cute, smart, funny, non married good Mormon boy is kind of hard not to crush on. So he got a little extra attention that only crushes get. Ya know, more talk time, extra smiles, homemade food (I had to show him my homemaking skills right?), help with some work when I could, and the general niceties that come with being my crush.

One of my favorite memories about him was that whenever we saw each other, I would always give him a “Hi *Kent!” with a big smile and he would always give me the same big smile and affectionate “Hi Sarah” right back.

And then it happened! What you may ask?

He and his girlfriend broke up!!! I’m not sure exactly when it happened, but I knew there was no need to hold the crushing back now! Woot! Woot! What should I do?! Ask him out or wait to be asked out? I opted to do the asking since by then, the crush had officially turned into a “like”. I liked the guy.

Side note about timing: I liked Hot Man at the same time. A bit confusing for me, but I wasn’t dating said Hot Man, so I figured it was a pretty good idea to get to know Kent* a little better since I really did have a crush on him first. Good idea right? Right.

It did take me a we bit of time to actually suggest we go out. It all worked out and a date we did go on. We decided on doing dinner the following week after he got off of work. Funny thing with him and work, I don’t know if he can or likes to juggle work and a social life, but I figured it was worth trying. I’m glad I did. He seemed he wanted to take me out just as much as I wanted him to take me out. So it was a win, win situation.

Long story about the where, but you’ll just have to be ok with the disappointment of me not telling you that story. Haha. We met up for dinner though after I got done with school and he got done with work (well, some work, he had to go back and finish up after our date which he hadn’t planned on when the date was originally made. It was sad, dinner couldn’t be that long). I figured we should make the best of it though since we usually didn’t see each other out of certain surroundings. We were both cooped up inside all day and as the fates allowed it was one of those amazing summer evenings so it was only obvious to go outside and enjoy eating on the patio.

I wasn’t nervous, I was so comfortable! I was comfortable with sitting next to him and him next to me, with the conversation we were having and the fact that when we made eye contact it was the kind of eye contact you don’t want to look away from. Eye contact is usually a tricky thing for me with guys, but not with him, he has such a warmth to his eyes and for lack of a better word, comfort to them. His dark brown eyes are so pretty. It felt like we had done this, dinner and talking, a million times before or could do it a million more. It was nice.

We sat and talked, and talked. I learned so many things about him that I didn’t know and am glad to know now. Our conversation made me laugh and it made me think. I love those conversations in general, but, Hello! It was actually with a guy I liked so it made it even better! We were able to talk about things going on in the world, things about ourselves, we talked about the Gospel. And ladies, he does his Home Teaching! That night confirmed his amazingness, his obsession with Apple, and his joke telling ability. *wink*

Well now you are wondering why Mr. Kent* hasn’t been spoken about before? Well, he was my secret, yet not so secret crush. Really this date was one of the sweet memories that you don’t want to share right away. It was one that I was holding out hope that things would happen and then… they didn’t. Read on.

After dinner was over, we had to split ways. Remember he had to go back to work and I didn’t want to make him late. We said our goodbyes and the super sad part was we actually departed WITHOUT a hug people! And it was awkward without that hug! Frown. He stood there and I stood there, and then I goodbye it before anything could even happen. The standard end of date hug for us Mormons is pivotal and by golly it would have been a good close to a really good evening. I had to go and let myself get in the way.

I’m an awkward girl if you didn’t know. I should try really hard not to be, but yet it is easier said than done. That’s a good goal though, try and not be awkward with guys you like. Even if it causes discomfort on your side a little bit. Weigh the pros and the cons. And I obviously wish we would have ended the evening differently, the fact that I am even writing this post tells you that I still like the guy. I just don’t know if he likes me. I am a state away now, so I guess I should get over it because we haven’t really talked much since. Sad day I know. I know, I know. The whole not talking much since probably means he doesn’t/didn’t like me the way I liked him, but a girl can still hope.

There are the “What if’s”, what if I had been more of a flirt before I left? What if we had had another great hug, yep, you read correctly “another” great hug prior to the date? (Details of said great hug can be obtained if you ask) I wonder sometimes if I could have found my ore and lost it. I don’t like having regrets, and I don’t think that you do either. I want to have the perspective to be able to learn from regret(s) and with Kent* specifically I’ve learned I should be trying a little harder. Getting out of my comfort zone a little bit more. End of date hugger, here I come *grin*.

I don’t see anything happening with Kent*, I would LOVE it if I were wrong! But even if I am not, he is a good man and I am glad I can call him a friend. I just hope if he ever reads this, it didn’t scare him to much. Haha.

Perk on Perspective! While writing this post, I came to realize, seeing the bigger picture, that dating would have been a stress creator over the past couple months. I don’t’ think it would have been something fun and carefree like I want it to be for a while. But as of now I am officially putting it out there men and friends of men (hint, hint ladies), I am ready for some datin’.

Hold out hope folks, my Ore will be found! He just might be in Arizona instead of Utah now.

*mean his name has been changed to protect the innocent.

Lesson learned. Pray for humility

New spiritual prompting people. Not a surprising one, but one that still hit me pretty good which has caused me to think about it for a while now. Pride is evil! In every sense of the word, not good, but very, Very, VERY BAD! Pride is the one thing that will break up families, tear down individuals, sever relationships, ruin friendships, bring down countries. Pride is the cause of wars, bloodshed, and is a cause of many tears.

It is such an individual character flaw, that I think it can be the great downfall to us all. It is the one gift of mortality that is given to almost all. There are a choice few spirits who have been given the ability to be humble always. It is a blessing not a curse to be humble.

With the experience from my last post, I have come to realize, that even though praying for humility is not always the funnest thing to do, because we all know that that is the one prayer that is always answered. At least we are a little bit more mentally prepared when it comes because we have been praying for it than when we have to be spiritually reprimanded and humbled by the Lord because we have let our pride override our humility and haven’t prayed for it.

Lesson learned. Pray for humility.

Prayer. Answered. Check.

It’s a funny thing prayer. Funny in the most respectful and amazing way possible! So here is my life update as of October 26, 2010. If some of you didn’t know, I’m going to give a little bit more back info on myself here to catch you up with today. Nice how our past affects our future huh? Haha. This is a really long way to explain this, but humor me, its semi entertaining.

When I was 21, I went through beauty school in Tucson Arizona. I worked full time at St. Mary’s Hospital, working the 11pm-7am shift Tues-Sat and going to school Mon-Fri 3pm-9pm. Looking back it amazes me the love of God and the strength He gives each of us without us even knowing about it when we are doing something that He has asked us to do. Beauty school was one of those things that kinda just happened for me. It happened in a way that looking back I know I didn’t have control of it happening.

By that time, I had stopped “playing” and started to straighten my life out. I wasn’t at the “going to church” stage yet, but I felt the need to start going. I started reading The Book of Mormon more frequently and reading my Patriarchal Blessing. I’ve come to realize recently, that “baby steps” were needed for my testimony to grow and to be strengthened. I guess that’s really how it works for everyone. *grin* All thanks goes to a conversation I had with my sister. Learning to run isn’t done overnight. By learning first how to walk by putting one foot in front of the other and building up endurance and strength, running isn’t a problem, well at least not as much of one anyway.

OK, back to the subject. Beauty school was one of the least favorite experiences of my life! Not the learning all the fun hair, nail, and skin stuff, I absolutely LOVE that, but the drama of girls was so not my favorite! I learned that being around people who live “of the world” was hard. I’m not saying I wasn’t one of the drama girls all the time, because that was during one of the emotionally special years of a girl’s life, and well, I am a girl. It was tough! I was this little girl from Salt Lake who threw herself/had been thrown into a situation where every emotion would be challenged, every moral fiber would either be reinforced or broken and physical exhaustion combined with those two things was a bad idea, along with the fact that I was still building my testimony of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Again, beauty school was not one of my favorite places.

Funny side note, my favorite Bishop told me once that you could never pay him enough to be in his 20’s again. He said you go through so many emotional ups and downs that he would never want to experience that again! TRUE DAT YO! Get me to my 30’s and mental sanity please! Haha.

I think by the time I was actually done with school and got my license that I was so burnt out, that doing hair was the farthest desire from my mind. Even if I did love doing it, the bad experience totally outweighed the good for me. It took me a little over 2 years before I went to work in a salon. I still did cuts and colors at home, but it’s not the same.

I went to work at SuperCuts. It only took me a few months of the Lord telling me I should go to a salon for me to actually do it. It ended up being such a great place for learning and growing. It gave me the confidence to stand behind someone and the knowledge to actually know what I was doing once I was back there. I learned so much about people and made some good friends, I learned so much about myself! I was there for almost two years, and left right before I moved up to Salt Lake. I was so thankful that I listened when I did because the blessings of spiritual, physical, and mental growth wouldn’t have come in the same way if I hadn’t gone to work there. Being led by the spirit is one of the sweetest experiences of life. If only I would have listened sooner. Who knows what blessings/learning could have taken place if I listened sooner. Hind sight is 20/20 I guess.

Now onto the way my Salt Lake adventure started. I had quit SuperCuts in February, being a little burnt out on just cutting hair, but I was still working at St. Mary’s, I had left the ICU and went to their Staffing Office, which was not my favorite. So, when I felt impressed that I needed to head up the Salt Lake for the summer of 2008, I was all excited.

It was really sweet. I had a plan, I had goals. I had a lot of spiritual revelation and insight on what I was supposed to do and how to do it. I was going up for a career change. I flew up to Salt Lake in May for a few job interviews and had two jobs set up for when I moved up the first of June that were going to last the summer. I was a cooking instructor for a kid’s summer camp, which pretty much rocked! It was hard, but so much fun! I also worked part time at a catering company as a prep cook. I learned so much! To work under a chef that I was able to ask questions to was ahhhhmazing!

I loved being back in Salt Lake, so when the impression came to move up there, I was pretty excited. The catering job turned into a full time gig and I found a place to live. Blessing also was that my friend was moving up from Tucson too and she was able to bring up some of my stuff with her, we were also roommates when she moved up. Side note: My car engine blew the day before I flew up to Salt Lake in May, so my plan to drive my car and bring my stuff with me then kinda changed to packing two big boxes of goodies and flew up. I sub leased a girls room for that summer so I had a bed, no worries there. Everything seriously worked out amazingly! There are true blessings from following the Lord. It’s like He sees the big picture and knows what is happening in our lives.

I bought a bike when I first moved up, again, no car, so I biked everywhere that summer. When you ride a bike and wear a helmet all summer in the heat that equals hair not being done, make-up not being worn, or not dressing in anything but t-shirts. It was kinda refreshing, but not, all at the same time. I’ve learned in the last few months that I am a true Princess and I like the whole dressing up, doing my hair, make-up, and nails thing. Good thing I’m heading back into the Cosmetology world, but that’s a whole other story.

In Salt Lake I was in a great ward with one of the most amazing Bishops ever! Bishop Charles (Chuck) Schwab (he was the “funny side note” earlier in this post.) Seriously one of the sweetest and spiritual men I have ever met and someone who is always willing to let me learn in my time and let me know that he was there if ever I needed him. He was there to support and encourage me during all the emotional specialness that was my mid 20’s.

I lived in an apartment with a friend for the first year or so up in Salt Lake which was another amazing learning experience. The things I learned there might be mentioned in future posts, so keep an eye out. I eventually moved in with Riley and Silvia. (Brother and sister-in-law) I had some of the sweetest and most spiritual conversations with Silvia and learned that Riley and I can actually get along as adults and we’re a lot more alike than I ever imagined.

I eventually left the catering company which by then had turned into a full time job, and started working at the University Hospital. The Neuro Acute Care Unit was pretty much the best place to learn. Seriously yo, I learned a lot!

There is no doubt in my mind that things were working out the way that they were supposed to. The Lord had a plan and my will was becoming more aligned with His every day. I understood that and was so excited! I tried to go to the Temple every week. I can say that that was one of the most amazing blessings of being in Utah. I partook of the Temple as often as possible and am quite sure that my learning wouldn’t have been as quick or as sweet without the Temple.

During this whole time I had adventures with dating/not dating and the emotional ups and downs that come along with it. Good example: Hot Man. There might be future blog posts about past adventures with guys besides Hot Man because they also allowed me to grow in one way or another. It’s like I was being prepared to Find My Ore or something.

Now onto how this all applies to today…

I went back to beauty school this year from May 11-Sep 4. Seriously?! You may ask? Yes. Yes, I did. It wasn’t by choice though, it was by necessity. My Arizona license didn’t carry over to Utah. And since the Spirit was poking at me again to get back into doing hair full time, I needed my Utah license to do that, which meant that I needed to go back to school for 400hrs (the difference between the two states requirements). It was the best thing I could have done! Ever! I learned so many things! I love that industry! I learned I want to teach and if I do say so myself, I’m not too shabby with the teaching skills.

I met some really amazing people, both students and clients. It was fun again and selfishly, it was a self esteem boost to go to school each day, the girls would always tell me how good I was. It’s nice to hear that once in awhile. It’s like I knew exactly what I was doing because I had been doing it for years or something and they were all brand new, just learning. It did feel good to be able to reassure the girls that were there, that one day, it would be easier and it would feel a lot more natural than it did at the moment. Anywho, I also have a job waiting for me there when I get back to Utah, if I do end up being back there by January.

During the last month of school, I started feeling the prompting that I needed to take a “break” from Utah and head down to my family in Tucson for a bit. The feeling was that I would be gone for about 3months, but I would be heading back up to Utah. It was a peaceful feeling, and one I knew needed to happen. I prayed, fasted, and went to the Temple. I was sad with the idea of leaving a beautiful fall in Utah, and then leaving a beautiful winter in Arizona, but still, the peaceful feeling stayed and I knew I needed to get ready for the mini move. I quit my job at the hospital, hopefully said all my goodbyes, “I’ll be back soon”, I packed up my car, put everything that didn’t fit into storage and was off.

I got to Tucson in the early morning of September 8th, around 1am. Boy was I tired, but that tired doesn’t even compare to the tired to come. I had more arguing and frustrating conversations with my mom and sister than I think I have in my whole life within the first two weeks of getting here! My mom ended up having foot surgery the week after I got here, so I was taking care of three kiddos, 9, 4, 2 ½, while my sister was at work. Exhaustion, pure exhaustion.

Let me tell you something. I never thought that being a mom would be so difficult. I was actually anti ever having kids and getting married for a good month or so. As of today, I am slowly coming back around to the idea, but man, it threw me through a freaking loop. On top of the taking care of a mom who couldn’t walk and three loving, smart, MONSTER children (I’m mostly joking, but holy cow, the babes were feisty. It probably didn’t help that I am nothing like their mom and I don’t let them get away with the same stuff.) I got the flu. Ahhhh!
Spiritually I was tired, physically I was tired and man, there is only so much personal reflection that should be allowed before it becomes more harmful than good, which also means I was mentally tired. That talk I wrote on pride that I posted, and what I thought my need for humility was, wasn’t even close to what I went through when I got here.

Needless to say, I wanted to go home. Not just a little bit, but a lot of bit. I wanted my own space, my own time, my own everything again. I had been independent for a long time and I am a stubborn person who has grown to like things her way. It’s like I’m single and 28 or something (which I just realized when I put it that way isn’t old at all, but still, I’m stubborn.)

I had made up my mind. I was going to go home. I wasn’t being the best Sarah I could be here, I was mean, rude, disconnected from the Spirit and downright annoying. (you may be thinking that is always how I am, but I was extra worse here *wink*) I would wait it out until the second week of October, but I was going to go home. My mom had her birthday, Jakob had his, and we would celebrate Jonahs before I left, so all was ready to go. I started to tell people I was coming home. My friends up in Salt Lake were excited, I told Silvia and Riley and things were going to work out great with me being back so soon. The only problem was, that whenever I said I was going back, I KNEW, that I wasn’t.

I tried to fight it, I cried, ok, not just cried, but broke down about it on multiple occasions. I had my life planned up in Utah. I had my friends there. I had work figured out, and my goals were set. I was ready to go. Remember that whole me being “prideful” thing? Yeah, that’s what was kicking my butt for a few weeks. Pride. And then… one morning after having a rough night, the sweetest feeling came over me. It went kind of like this. Sarah, you have been praying for your family, you have been fasting for your family. The things you been praying for can be answered by you staying, even if it’s just for a little bit.

HOLY COW! I had been praying for this?! I took it a little rough. It’s totally true though. Not to sound cocky, but I am an answer to my own prayers. Chew on that one, because I was dumb enough never to realize the simplicity of that. We can be answers to our own prayers. It ties back to faith being an action word. Kinda cool huh? The mini move down here was for sure to help my family, but it was for me too. I don’t think if I didn’t experience some of the extremes of emotions that I went through those first few weeks, they would never have sunk in the same way in any other situation.

I got a Priesthood Blessing the following Sunday and it was so sweet. Peace and strength were offered. I know I need to be here. I know I am here for a reason, again, for myself just as much for my family. I know that family is more important than ANYTHING and if we have the chance to be a strength to those we love, we should always do it willingly, not grudgingly.

How many times in this post had I been blessed with answered prayers, with promptings to do things, and each time there have been blessings that came. I should not doubt the Lord, but I should accept His will as my own. Do what He has asked me to do with a broken heart and contrite spirit. It’s the seeing my life in the big puzzle or picture scenario again, the Lord sees it, I do not. If he sees the beauty of it in its entirety, I should trust in His judgment and keep moving forward and see the beauty in the piece or pieces He allows me to see.

I love the Lord. I love my Savior Jesus Christ and am truly thankful for the power of repentance. I am thankful for the ability to ask forgiveness from our Father and learn from our mistakes.

Happy! Happy? Joy. JOY!

A few weeks ago I went to Sapa (a really good Asian fusion restaurant in downtown Salt Lake) for their one year anniversary party with some friends. Sushi, oh, sweet sushi. How I love thee. The company was great, the food was awesome and the atmosphere was really fun. That isn’t the point of my little blog post, promise. Even though I do now recommend the restaurant to everyone because it really was that good. Haha.

The lesson learned from that night was this: being happy “in the moment” is nothing compared to knowing true JOY.

Let me explain where this all came from.

After said night of fun was had, I was giving my friend Andrea a ride home and we had the most amazing conversation! Andrea is amazing and we have a lot of fun together. She’s married and a mom of three of the cutest kids ever! She and I try to go to the Temple together when we have time and her little brother is a good friend of mine too.

Andrea and I have both lived lives where we have played and partied and experienced what the world would call “fun”. This actually helped to spark the conversation on the drive home. Andrea had been in line with her husband and had a pretty fun time watching the party goers around them. The people around them were enjoying themselves, bad language and some “adult beverages” to quote a friend were all around.

On the drive home Andrea had said how “happy” everyone seemed to be and how much “fun” they seemed to all be having. How it made her kind of miss that part of her life that was “care free”. I completely understood her point.

I’m backing up here to fill you in on my life and tell you how I could completely understand her point.

I was inactive in my early teens and again in my early twenties. Twice I have been away from the church, neither time having been the church going kind of girl who said prayer or read scriptures. I hadn’t read The Book of Mormon, I had one, but had no clue the power that was in it. I knew from growing up in the church that some things were true. The Power of the Priesthood, the Power of the Holy Ghost, the Power that comes in trying to be a good person.

I’ll give you a better perspective: I was 22 before I knew there were the books of Moses and Abraham hiding out behind D&C. I just never really knew what the “Pearl of Great Price” was I guess. It was easier to wean myself away from church because I didn’t “know” certain things and the things I did know weren't strong enough to compete with the "world" and it's "fun".

I want you to know that I didn’t quite what partying and playing I was doing because I wasn’t having fun and enjoying myself. I quite because the promptings of the Spirit told me to. I felt love and a quiet peace with the idea of changing what I was doing to align myself with the teachings of Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.

Whenever I was doing things against the Lord’s will I felt guilty, not the world is going to end kind of guilt, but that unsettled feeling of knowing I was doing things that were against God. I knew that there was a better way and I was willingly choosing to make my life harder than it needed to be.

Repentance is a powerful, powerful thing. With that said, I’ll get back to Andrea and our conversation. After she had said that everyone seemed to be so “happy” the Spirit prompted my thinking and words as such. (I don’t know if I’ll remember all that I said, because it really wasn’t me speaking, but I did try to listen and remember what was being said.)

“Happy” in this reference is representing the “world” and its view. Think of JOY as representing Eternal perspective. To be happy is good, but “happy” in the world and its ways are bad. We are told by Scripture and Prophets to be in the world, but not of the world. Being “of the world” is taking us away from knowing the COMPLETE JOY that comes from following the teachings of our Savior, Jesus Christ. Knowing that He is the Son of God, He died for each of us, He Lives for each of us! Joy is putting that knowledge to use, using it to avoid the temptations of settling for just being “happy”.

Being “happy” vs. knowing what JOY is gives me the reassurance that making the changes I had in my life was the best thing I could have done! Not only for me, but for my family, my friends, and those who I will meet on this journey called life.
I now have a better understanding of what JOY truly is and how to use it in my life.
Psalms 16:11 “Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fullness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore.”

May we all find JOY in this life! I am so glad for the “random” moments of learning that touch my spirit and give me a better understanding of my Heavenly Father and His son Jesus Christ and help me to put my life in perspective. I hope that I can use this new perspective in my life and LIVE a life of JOY!

Update: July 10, 2011. I just saw this on lds.org and wanted to share it with this post This is a video that was put out by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, that share the testimonies three other people on this subject, the same Joy I feel now that I have come to know Jesus Christ.