New spiritual prompting people. Not a surprising one, but one that still hit me pretty good which has caused me to think about it for a while now. Pride is evil! In every sense of the word, not good, but very, Very, VERY BAD! Pride is the one thing that will break up families, tear down individuals, sever relationships, ruin friendships, bring down countries. Pride is the cause of wars, bloodshed, and is a cause of many tears.
It is such an individual character flaw, that I think it can be the great downfall to us all. It is the one gift of mortality that is given to almost all. There are a choice few spirits who have been given the ability to be humble always. It is a blessing not a curse to be humble.
With the experience from my last post, I have come to realize, that even though praying for humility is not always the funnest thing to do, because we all know that that is the one prayer that is always answered. At least we are a little bit more mentally prepared when it comes because we have been praying for it than when we have to be spiritually reprimanded and humbled by the Lord because we have let our pride override our humility and haven’t prayed for it.
Lesson learned. Pray for humility.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Prayer. Answered. Check.
It’s a funny thing prayer. Funny in the most respectful and amazing way possible! So here is my life update as of October 26, 2010. If some of you didn’t know, I’m going to give a little bit more back info on myself here to catch you up with today. Nice how our past affects our future huh? Haha. This is a really long way to explain this, but humor me, its semi entertaining.
When I was 21, I went through beauty school in Tucson Arizona. I worked full time at St. Mary’s Hospital, working the 11pm-7am shift Tues-Sat and going to school Mon-Fri 3pm-9pm. Looking back it amazes me the love of God and the strength He gives each of us without us even knowing about it when we are doing something that He has asked us to do. Beauty school was one of those things that kinda just happened for me. It happened in a way that looking back I know I didn’t have control of it happening.
By that time, I had stopped “playing” and started to straighten my life out. I wasn’t at the “going to church” stage yet, but I felt the need to start going. I started reading The Book of Mormon more frequently and reading my Patriarchal Blessing. I’ve come to realize recently, that “baby steps” were needed for my testimony to grow and to be strengthened. I guess that’s really how it works for everyone. *grin* All thanks goes to a conversation I had with my sister. Learning to run isn’t done overnight. By learning first how to walk by putting one foot in front of the other and building up endurance and strength, running isn’t a problem, well at least not as much of one anyway.
OK, back to the subject. Beauty school was one of the least favorite experiences of my life! Not the learning all the fun hair, nail, and skin stuff, I absolutely LOVE that, but the drama of girls was so not my favorite! I learned that being around people who live “of the world” was hard. I’m not saying I wasn’t one of the drama girls all the time, because that was during one of the emotionally special years of a girl’s life, and well, I am a girl. It was tough! I was this little girl from Salt Lake who threw herself/had been thrown into a situation where every emotion would be challenged, every moral fiber would either be reinforced or broken and physical exhaustion combined with those two things was a bad idea, along with the fact that I was still building my testimony of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Again, beauty school was not one of my favorite places.
Funny side note, my favorite Bishop told me once that you could never pay him enough to be in his 20’s again. He said you go through so many emotional ups and downs that he would never want to experience that again! TRUE DAT YO! Get me to my 30’s and mental sanity please! Haha.
I think by the time I was actually done with school and got my license that I was so burnt out, that doing hair was the farthest desire from my mind. Even if I did love doing it, the bad experience totally outweighed the good for me. It took me a little over 2 years before I went to work in a salon. I still did cuts and colors at home, but it’s not the same.
I went to work at SuperCuts. It only took me a few months of the Lord telling me I should go to a salon for me to actually do it. It ended up being such a great place for learning and growing. It gave me the confidence to stand behind someone and the knowledge to actually know what I was doing once I was back there. I learned so much about people and made some good friends, I learned so much about myself! I was there for almost two years, and left right before I moved up to Salt Lake. I was so thankful that I listened when I did because the blessings of spiritual, physical, and mental growth wouldn’t have come in the same way if I hadn’t gone to work there. Being led by the spirit is one of the sweetest experiences of life. If only I would have listened sooner. Who knows what blessings/learning could have taken place if I listened sooner. Hind sight is 20/20 I guess.
Now onto the way my Salt Lake adventure started. I had quit SuperCuts in February, being a little burnt out on just cutting hair, but I was still working at St. Mary’s, I had left the ICU and went to their Staffing Office, which was not my favorite. So, when I felt impressed that I needed to head up the Salt Lake for the summer of 2008, I was all excited.
It was really sweet. I had a plan, I had goals. I had a lot of spiritual revelation and insight on what I was supposed to do and how to do it. I was going up for a career change. I flew up to Salt Lake in May for a few job interviews and had two jobs set up for when I moved up the first of June that were going to last the summer. I was a cooking instructor for a kid’s summer camp, which pretty much rocked! It was hard, but so much fun! I also worked part time at a catering company as a prep cook. I learned so much! To work under a chef that I was able to ask questions to was ahhhhmazing!
I loved being back in Salt Lake, so when the impression came to move up there, I was pretty excited. The catering job turned into a full time gig and I found a place to live. Blessing also was that my friend was moving up from Tucson too and she was able to bring up some of my stuff with her, we were also roommates when she moved up. Side note: My car engine blew the day before I flew up to Salt Lake in May, so my plan to drive my car and bring my stuff with me then kinda changed to packing two big boxes of goodies and flew up. I sub leased a girls room for that summer so I had a bed, no worries there. Everything seriously worked out amazingly! There are true blessings from following the Lord. It’s like He sees the big picture and knows what is happening in our lives.
I bought a bike when I first moved up, again, no car, so I biked everywhere that summer. When you ride a bike and wear a helmet all summer in the heat that equals hair not being done, make-up not being worn, or not dressing in anything but t-shirts. It was kinda refreshing, but not, all at the same time. I’ve learned in the last few months that I am a true Princess and I like the whole dressing up, doing my hair, make-up, and nails thing. Good thing I’m heading back into the Cosmetology world, but that’s a whole other story.
In Salt Lake I was in a great ward with one of the most amazing Bishops ever! Bishop Charles (Chuck) Schwab (he was the “funny side note” earlier in this post.) Seriously one of the sweetest and spiritual men I have ever met and someone who is always willing to let me learn in my time and let me know that he was there if ever I needed him. He was there to support and encourage me during all the emotional specialness that was my mid 20’s.
I lived in an apartment with a friend for the first year or so up in Salt Lake which was another amazing learning experience. The things I learned there might be mentioned in future posts, so keep an eye out. I eventually moved in with Riley and Silvia. (Brother and sister-in-law) I had some of the sweetest and most spiritual conversations with Silvia and learned that Riley and I can actually get along as adults and we’re a lot more alike than I ever imagined.
I eventually left the catering company which by then had turned into a full time job, and started working at the University Hospital. The Neuro Acute Care Unit was pretty much the best place to learn. Seriously yo, I learned a lot!
There is no doubt in my mind that things were working out the way that they were supposed to. The Lord had a plan and my will was becoming more aligned with His every day. I understood that and was so excited! I tried to go to the Temple every week. I can say that that was one of the most amazing blessings of being in Utah. I partook of the Temple as often as possible and am quite sure that my learning wouldn’t have been as quick or as sweet without the Temple.
During this whole time I had adventures with dating/not dating and the emotional ups and downs that come along with it. Good example: Hot Man. There might be future blog posts about past adventures with guys besides Hot Man because they also allowed me to grow in one way or another. It’s like I was being prepared to Find My Ore or something.
Now onto how this all applies to today…
I went back to beauty school this year from May 11-Sep 4. Seriously?! You may ask? Yes. Yes, I did. It wasn’t by choice though, it was by necessity. My Arizona license didn’t carry over to Utah. And since the Spirit was poking at me again to get back into doing hair full time, I needed my Utah license to do that, which meant that I needed to go back to school for 400hrs (the difference between the two states requirements). It was the best thing I could have done! Ever! I learned so many things! I love that industry! I learned I want to teach and if I do say so myself, I’m not too shabby with the teaching skills.
I met some really amazing people, both students and clients. It was fun again and selfishly, it was a self esteem boost to go to school each day, the girls would always tell me how good I was. It’s nice to hear that once in awhile. It’s like I knew exactly what I was doing because I had been doing it for years or something and they were all brand new, just learning. It did feel good to be able to reassure the girls that were there, that one day, it would be easier and it would feel a lot more natural than it did at the moment. Anywho, I also have a job waiting for me there when I get back to Utah, if I do end up being back there by January.
During the last month of school, I started feeling the prompting that I needed to take a “break” from Utah and head down to my family in Tucson for a bit. The feeling was that I would be gone for about 3months, but I would be heading back up to Utah. It was a peaceful feeling, and one I knew needed to happen. I prayed, fasted, and went to the Temple. I was sad with the idea of leaving a beautiful fall in Utah, and then leaving a beautiful winter in Arizona, but still, the peaceful feeling stayed and I knew I needed to get ready for the mini move. I quit my job at the hospital, hopefully said all my goodbyes, “I’ll be back soon”, I packed up my car, put everything that didn’t fit into storage and was off.
I got to Tucson in the early morning of September 8th, around 1am. Boy was I tired, but that tired doesn’t even compare to the tired to come. I had more arguing and frustrating conversations with my mom and sister than I think I have in my whole life within the first two weeks of getting here! My mom ended up having foot surgery the week after I got here, so I was taking care of three kiddos, 9, 4, 2 ½, while my sister was at work. Exhaustion, pure exhaustion.
Let me tell you something. I never thought that being a mom would be so difficult. I was actually anti ever having kids and getting married for a good month or so. As of today, I am slowly coming back around to the idea, but man, it threw me through a freaking loop. On top of the taking care of a mom who couldn’t walk and three loving, smart, MONSTER children (I’m mostly joking, but holy cow, the babes were feisty. It probably didn’t help that I am nothing like their mom and I don’t let them get away with the same stuff.) I got the flu. Ahhhh!
Spiritually I was tired, physically I was tired and man, there is only so much personal reflection that should be allowed before it becomes more harmful than good, which also means I was mentally tired. That talk I wrote on pride that I posted, and what I thought my need for humility was, wasn’t even close to what I went through when I got here.
Needless to say, I wanted to go home. Not just a little bit, but a lot of bit. I wanted my own space, my own time, my own everything again. I had been independent for a long time and I am a stubborn person who has grown to like things her way. It’s like I’m single and 28 or something (which I just realized when I put it that way isn’t old at all, but still, I’m stubborn.)
I had made up my mind. I was going to go home. I wasn’t being the best Sarah I could be here, I was mean, rude, disconnected from the Spirit and downright annoying. (you may be thinking that is always how I am, but I was extra worse here *wink*) I would wait it out until the second week of October, but I was going to go home. My mom had her birthday, Jakob had his, and we would celebrate Jonahs before I left, so all was ready to go. I started to tell people I was coming home. My friends up in Salt Lake were excited, I told Silvia and Riley and things were going to work out great with me being back so soon. The only problem was, that whenever I said I was going back, I KNEW, that I wasn’t.
I tried to fight it, I cried, ok, not just cried, but broke down about it on multiple occasions. I had my life planned up in Utah. I had my friends there. I had work figured out, and my goals were set. I was ready to go. Remember that whole me being “prideful” thing? Yeah, that’s what was kicking my butt for a few weeks. Pride. And then… one morning after having a rough night, the sweetest feeling came over me. It went kind of like this. Sarah, you have been praying for your family, you have been fasting for your family. The things you been praying for can be answered by you staying, even if it’s just for a little bit.
HOLY COW! I had been praying for this?! I took it a little rough. It’s totally true though. Not to sound cocky, but I am an answer to my own prayers. Chew on that one, because I was dumb enough never to realize the simplicity of that. We can be answers to our own prayers. It ties back to faith being an action word. Kinda cool huh? The mini move down here was for sure to help my family, but it was for me too. I don’t think if I didn’t experience some of the extremes of emotions that I went through those first few weeks, they would never have sunk in the same way in any other situation.
I got a Priesthood Blessing the following Sunday and it was so sweet. Peace and strength were offered. I know I need to be here. I know I am here for a reason, again, for myself just as much for my family. I know that family is more important than ANYTHING and if we have the chance to be a strength to those we love, we should always do it willingly, not grudgingly.
How many times in this post had I been blessed with answered prayers, with promptings to do things, and each time there have been blessings that came. I should not doubt the Lord, but I should accept His will as my own. Do what He has asked me to do with a broken heart and contrite spirit. It’s the seeing my life in the big puzzle or picture scenario again, the Lord sees it, I do not. If he sees the beauty of it in its entirety, I should trust in His judgment and keep moving forward and see the beauty in the piece or pieces He allows me to see.
I love the Lord. I love my Savior Jesus Christ and am truly thankful for the power of repentance. I am thankful for the ability to ask forgiveness from our Father and learn from our mistakes.
When I was 21, I went through beauty school in Tucson Arizona. I worked full time at St. Mary’s Hospital, working the 11pm-7am shift Tues-Sat and going to school Mon-Fri 3pm-9pm. Looking back it amazes me the love of God and the strength He gives each of us without us even knowing about it when we are doing something that He has asked us to do. Beauty school was one of those things that kinda just happened for me. It happened in a way that looking back I know I didn’t have control of it happening.
By that time, I had stopped “playing” and started to straighten my life out. I wasn’t at the “going to church” stage yet, but I felt the need to start going. I started reading The Book of Mormon more frequently and reading my Patriarchal Blessing. I’ve come to realize recently, that “baby steps” were needed for my testimony to grow and to be strengthened. I guess that’s really how it works for everyone. *grin* All thanks goes to a conversation I had with my sister. Learning to run isn’t done overnight. By learning first how to walk by putting one foot in front of the other and building up endurance and strength, running isn’t a problem, well at least not as much of one anyway.
OK, back to the subject. Beauty school was one of the least favorite experiences of my life! Not the learning all the fun hair, nail, and skin stuff, I absolutely LOVE that, but the drama of girls was so not my favorite! I learned that being around people who live “of the world” was hard. I’m not saying I wasn’t one of the drama girls all the time, because that was during one of the emotionally special years of a girl’s life, and well, I am a girl. It was tough! I was this little girl from Salt Lake who threw herself/had been thrown into a situation where every emotion would be challenged, every moral fiber would either be reinforced or broken and physical exhaustion combined with those two things was a bad idea, along with the fact that I was still building my testimony of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Again, beauty school was not one of my favorite places.
Funny side note, my favorite Bishop told me once that you could never pay him enough to be in his 20’s again. He said you go through so many emotional ups and downs that he would never want to experience that again! TRUE DAT YO! Get me to my 30’s and mental sanity please! Haha.
I think by the time I was actually done with school and got my license that I was so burnt out, that doing hair was the farthest desire from my mind. Even if I did love doing it, the bad experience totally outweighed the good for me. It took me a little over 2 years before I went to work in a salon. I still did cuts and colors at home, but it’s not the same.
I went to work at SuperCuts. It only took me a few months of the Lord telling me I should go to a salon for me to actually do it. It ended up being such a great place for learning and growing. It gave me the confidence to stand behind someone and the knowledge to actually know what I was doing once I was back there. I learned so much about people and made some good friends, I learned so much about myself! I was there for almost two years, and left right before I moved up to Salt Lake. I was so thankful that I listened when I did because the blessings of spiritual, physical, and mental growth wouldn’t have come in the same way if I hadn’t gone to work there. Being led by the spirit is one of the sweetest experiences of life. If only I would have listened sooner. Who knows what blessings/learning could have taken place if I listened sooner. Hind sight is 20/20 I guess.
Now onto the way my Salt Lake adventure started. I had quit SuperCuts in February, being a little burnt out on just cutting hair, but I was still working at St. Mary’s, I had left the ICU and went to their Staffing Office, which was not my favorite. So, when I felt impressed that I needed to head up the Salt Lake for the summer of 2008, I was all excited.
It was really sweet. I had a plan, I had goals. I had a lot of spiritual revelation and insight on what I was supposed to do and how to do it. I was going up for a career change. I flew up to Salt Lake in May for a few job interviews and had two jobs set up for when I moved up the first of June that were going to last the summer. I was a cooking instructor for a kid’s summer camp, which pretty much rocked! It was hard, but so much fun! I also worked part time at a catering company as a prep cook. I learned so much! To work under a chef that I was able to ask questions to was ahhhhmazing!
I loved being back in Salt Lake, so when the impression came to move up there, I was pretty excited. The catering job turned into a full time gig and I found a place to live. Blessing also was that my friend was moving up from Tucson too and she was able to bring up some of my stuff with her, we were also roommates when she moved up. Side note: My car engine blew the day before I flew up to Salt Lake in May, so my plan to drive my car and bring my stuff with me then kinda changed to packing two big boxes of goodies and flew up. I sub leased a girls room for that summer so I had a bed, no worries there. Everything seriously worked out amazingly! There are true blessings from following the Lord. It’s like He sees the big picture and knows what is happening in our lives.
I bought a bike when I first moved up, again, no car, so I biked everywhere that summer. When you ride a bike and wear a helmet all summer in the heat that equals hair not being done, make-up not being worn, or not dressing in anything but t-shirts. It was kinda refreshing, but not, all at the same time. I’ve learned in the last few months that I am a true Princess and I like the whole dressing up, doing my hair, make-up, and nails thing. Good thing I’m heading back into the Cosmetology world, but that’s a whole other story.
In Salt Lake I was in a great ward with one of the most amazing Bishops ever! Bishop Charles (Chuck) Schwab (he was the “funny side note” earlier in this post.) Seriously one of the sweetest and spiritual men I have ever met and someone who is always willing to let me learn in my time and let me know that he was there if ever I needed him. He was there to support and encourage me during all the emotional specialness that was my mid 20’s.
I lived in an apartment with a friend for the first year or so up in Salt Lake which was another amazing learning experience. The things I learned there might be mentioned in future posts, so keep an eye out. I eventually moved in with Riley and Silvia. (Brother and sister-in-law) I had some of the sweetest and most spiritual conversations with Silvia and learned that Riley and I can actually get along as adults and we’re a lot more alike than I ever imagined.
I eventually left the catering company which by then had turned into a full time job, and started working at the University Hospital. The Neuro Acute Care Unit was pretty much the best place to learn. Seriously yo, I learned a lot!
There is no doubt in my mind that things were working out the way that they were supposed to. The Lord had a plan and my will was becoming more aligned with His every day. I understood that and was so excited! I tried to go to the Temple every week. I can say that that was one of the most amazing blessings of being in Utah. I partook of the Temple as often as possible and am quite sure that my learning wouldn’t have been as quick or as sweet without the Temple.
During this whole time I had adventures with dating/not dating and the emotional ups and downs that come along with it. Good example: Hot Man. There might be future blog posts about past adventures with guys besides Hot Man because they also allowed me to grow in one way or another. It’s like I was being prepared to Find My Ore or something.
Now onto how this all applies to today…
I went back to beauty school this year from May 11-Sep 4. Seriously?! You may ask? Yes. Yes, I did. It wasn’t by choice though, it was by necessity. My Arizona license didn’t carry over to Utah. And since the Spirit was poking at me again to get back into doing hair full time, I needed my Utah license to do that, which meant that I needed to go back to school for 400hrs (the difference between the two states requirements). It was the best thing I could have done! Ever! I learned so many things! I love that industry! I learned I want to teach and if I do say so myself, I’m not too shabby with the teaching skills.
I met some really amazing people, both students and clients. It was fun again and selfishly, it was a self esteem boost to go to school each day, the girls would always tell me how good I was. It’s nice to hear that once in awhile. It’s like I knew exactly what I was doing because I had been doing it for years or something and they were all brand new, just learning. It did feel good to be able to reassure the girls that were there, that one day, it would be easier and it would feel a lot more natural than it did at the moment. Anywho, I also have a job waiting for me there when I get back to Utah, if I do end up being back there by January.
During the last month of school, I started feeling the prompting that I needed to take a “break” from Utah and head down to my family in Tucson for a bit. The feeling was that I would be gone for about 3months, but I would be heading back up to Utah. It was a peaceful feeling, and one I knew needed to happen. I prayed, fasted, and went to the Temple. I was sad with the idea of leaving a beautiful fall in Utah, and then leaving a beautiful winter in Arizona, but still, the peaceful feeling stayed and I knew I needed to get ready for the mini move. I quit my job at the hospital, hopefully said all my goodbyes, “I’ll be back soon”, I packed up my car, put everything that didn’t fit into storage and was off.
I got to Tucson in the early morning of September 8th, around 1am. Boy was I tired, but that tired doesn’t even compare to the tired to come. I had more arguing and frustrating conversations with my mom and sister than I think I have in my whole life within the first two weeks of getting here! My mom ended up having foot surgery the week after I got here, so I was taking care of three kiddos, 9, 4, 2 ½, while my sister was at work. Exhaustion, pure exhaustion.
Let me tell you something. I never thought that being a mom would be so difficult. I was actually anti ever having kids and getting married for a good month or so. As of today, I am slowly coming back around to the idea, but man, it threw me through a freaking loop. On top of the taking care of a mom who couldn’t walk and three loving, smart, MONSTER children (I’m mostly joking, but holy cow, the babes were feisty. It probably didn’t help that I am nothing like their mom and I don’t let them get away with the same stuff.) I got the flu. Ahhhh!
Spiritually I was tired, physically I was tired and man, there is only so much personal reflection that should be allowed before it becomes more harmful than good, which also means I was mentally tired. That talk I wrote on pride that I posted, and what I thought my need for humility was, wasn’t even close to what I went through when I got here.
Needless to say, I wanted to go home. Not just a little bit, but a lot of bit. I wanted my own space, my own time, my own everything again. I had been independent for a long time and I am a stubborn person who has grown to like things her way. It’s like I’m single and 28 or something (which I just realized when I put it that way isn’t old at all, but still, I’m stubborn.)
I had made up my mind. I was going to go home. I wasn’t being the best Sarah I could be here, I was mean, rude, disconnected from the Spirit and downright annoying. (you may be thinking that is always how I am, but I was extra worse here *wink*) I would wait it out until the second week of October, but I was going to go home. My mom had her birthday, Jakob had his, and we would celebrate Jonahs before I left, so all was ready to go. I started to tell people I was coming home. My friends up in Salt Lake were excited, I told Silvia and Riley and things were going to work out great with me being back so soon. The only problem was, that whenever I said I was going back, I KNEW, that I wasn’t.
I tried to fight it, I cried, ok, not just cried, but broke down about it on multiple occasions. I had my life planned up in Utah. I had my friends there. I had work figured out, and my goals were set. I was ready to go. Remember that whole me being “prideful” thing? Yeah, that’s what was kicking my butt for a few weeks. Pride. And then… one morning after having a rough night, the sweetest feeling came over me. It went kind of like this. Sarah, you have been praying for your family, you have been fasting for your family. The things you been praying for can be answered by you staying, even if it’s just for a little bit.
HOLY COW! I had been praying for this?! I took it a little rough. It’s totally true though. Not to sound cocky, but I am an answer to my own prayers. Chew on that one, because I was dumb enough never to realize the simplicity of that. We can be answers to our own prayers. It ties back to faith being an action word. Kinda cool huh? The mini move down here was for sure to help my family, but it was for me too. I don’t think if I didn’t experience some of the extremes of emotions that I went through those first few weeks, they would never have sunk in the same way in any other situation.
I got a Priesthood Blessing the following Sunday and it was so sweet. Peace and strength were offered. I know I need to be here. I know I am here for a reason, again, for myself just as much for my family. I know that family is more important than ANYTHING and if we have the chance to be a strength to those we love, we should always do it willingly, not grudgingly.
How many times in this post had I been blessed with answered prayers, with promptings to do things, and each time there have been blessings that came. I should not doubt the Lord, but I should accept His will as my own. Do what He has asked me to do with a broken heart and contrite spirit. It’s the seeing my life in the big puzzle or picture scenario again, the Lord sees it, I do not. If he sees the beauty of it in its entirety, I should trust in His judgment and keep moving forward and see the beauty in the piece or pieces He allows me to see.
I love the Lord. I love my Savior Jesus Christ and am truly thankful for the power of repentance. I am thankful for the ability to ask forgiveness from our Father and learn from our mistakes.
Monday, September 13, 2010
Happy! Happy? Joy. JOY!
A few weeks ago I went to Sapa (a really good Asian fusion restaurant in downtown Salt Lake) for their one year anniversary party with some friends. Sushi, oh, sweet sushi. How I love thee. The company was great, the food was awesome and the atmosphere was really fun. That isn’t the point of my little blog post, promise. Even though I do now recommend the restaurant to everyone because it really was that good. Haha.
The lesson learned from that night was this: being happy “in the moment” is nothing compared to knowing true JOY.
Let me explain where this all came from.
After said night of fun was had, I was giving my friend Andrea a ride home and we had the most amazing conversation! Andrea is amazing and we have a lot of fun together. She’s married and a mom of three of the cutest kids ever! She and I try to go to the Temple together when we have time and her little brother is a good friend of mine too.
Andrea and I have both lived lives where we have played and partied and experienced what the world would call “fun”. This actually helped to spark the conversation on the drive home. Andrea had been in line with her husband and had a pretty fun time watching the party goers around them. The people around them were enjoying themselves, bad language and some “adult beverages” to quote a friend were all around.
On the drive home Andrea had said how “happy” everyone seemed to be and how much “fun” they seemed to all be having. How it made her kind of miss that part of her life that was “care free”. I completely understood her point.
I’m backing up here to fill you in on my life and tell you how I could completely understand her point.
I was inactive in my early teens and again in my early twenties. Twice I have been away from the church, neither time having been the church going kind of girl who said prayer or read scriptures. I hadn’t read The Book of Mormon, I had one, but had no clue the power that was in it. I knew from growing up in the church that some things were true. The Power of the Priesthood, the Power of the Holy Ghost, the Power that comes in trying to be a good person.
I’ll give you a better perspective: I was 22 before I knew there were the books of Moses and Abraham hiding out behind D&C. I just never really knew what the “Pearl of Great Price” was I guess. It was easier to wean myself away from church because I didn’t “know” certain things and the things I did know weren't strong enough to compete with the "world" and it's "fun".
I want you to know that I didn’t quite what partying and playing I was doing because I wasn’t having fun and enjoying myself. I quite because the promptings of the Spirit told me to. I felt love and a quiet peace with the idea of changing what I was doing to align myself with the teachings of Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.
Whenever I was doing things against the Lord’s will I felt guilty, not the world is going to end kind of guilt, but that unsettled feeling of knowing I was doing things that were against God. I knew that there was a better way and I was willingly choosing to make my life harder than it needed to be.
Repentance is a powerful, powerful thing. With that said, I’ll get back to Andrea and our conversation. After she had said that everyone seemed to be so “happy” the Spirit prompted my thinking and words as such. (I don’t know if I’ll remember all that I said, because it really wasn’t me speaking, but I did try to listen and remember what was being said.)
“Happy” in this reference is representing the “world” and its view. Think of JOY as representing Eternal perspective. To be happy is good, but “happy” in the world and its ways are bad. We are told by Scripture and Prophets to be in the world, but not of the world. Being “of the world” is taking us away from knowing the COMPLETE JOY that comes from following the teachings of our Savior, Jesus Christ. Knowing that He is the Son of God, He died for each of us, He Lives for each of us! Joy is putting that knowledge to use, using it to avoid the temptations of settling for just being “happy”.
Being “happy” vs. knowing what JOY is gives me the reassurance that making the changes I had in my life was the best thing I could have done! Not only for me, but for my family, my friends, and those who I will meet on this journey called life.
I now have a better understanding of what JOY truly is and how to use it in my life.
Psalms 16:11 “Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fullness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore.”
May we all find JOY in this life! I am so glad for the “random” moments of learning that touch my spirit and give me a better understanding of my Heavenly Father and His son Jesus Christ and help me to put my life in perspective. I hope that I can use this new perspective in my life and LIVE a life of JOY!
Update: July 10, 2011. I just saw this on lds.org and wanted to share it with this post This is a video that was put out by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, that share the testimonies three other people on this subject, the same Joy I feel now that I have come to know Jesus Christ.
The lesson learned from that night was this: being happy “in the moment” is nothing compared to knowing true JOY.
Let me explain where this all came from.
After said night of fun was had, I was giving my friend Andrea a ride home and we had the most amazing conversation! Andrea is amazing and we have a lot of fun together. She’s married and a mom of three of the cutest kids ever! She and I try to go to the Temple together when we have time and her little brother is a good friend of mine too.
Andrea and I have both lived lives where we have played and partied and experienced what the world would call “fun”. This actually helped to spark the conversation on the drive home. Andrea had been in line with her husband and had a pretty fun time watching the party goers around them. The people around them were enjoying themselves, bad language and some “adult beverages” to quote a friend were all around.
On the drive home Andrea had said how “happy” everyone seemed to be and how much “fun” they seemed to all be having. How it made her kind of miss that part of her life that was “care free”. I completely understood her point.
I’m backing up here to fill you in on my life and tell you how I could completely understand her point.
I was inactive in my early teens and again in my early twenties. Twice I have been away from the church, neither time having been the church going kind of girl who said prayer or read scriptures. I hadn’t read The Book of Mormon, I had one, but had no clue the power that was in it. I knew from growing up in the church that some things were true. The Power of the Priesthood, the Power of the Holy Ghost, the Power that comes in trying to be a good person.
I’ll give you a better perspective: I was 22 before I knew there were the books of Moses and Abraham hiding out behind D&C. I just never really knew what the “Pearl of Great Price” was I guess. It was easier to wean myself away from church because I didn’t “know” certain things and the things I did know weren't strong enough to compete with the "world" and it's "fun".
I want you to know that I didn’t quite what partying and playing I was doing because I wasn’t having fun and enjoying myself. I quite because the promptings of the Spirit told me to. I felt love and a quiet peace with the idea of changing what I was doing to align myself with the teachings of Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.
Whenever I was doing things against the Lord’s will I felt guilty, not the world is going to end kind of guilt, but that unsettled feeling of knowing I was doing things that were against God. I knew that there was a better way and I was willingly choosing to make my life harder than it needed to be.
Repentance is a powerful, powerful thing. With that said, I’ll get back to Andrea and our conversation. After she had said that everyone seemed to be so “happy” the Spirit prompted my thinking and words as such. (I don’t know if I’ll remember all that I said, because it really wasn’t me speaking, but I did try to listen and remember what was being said.)
“Happy” in this reference is representing the “world” and its view. Think of JOY as representing Eternal perspective. To be happy is good, but “happy” in the world and its ways are bad. We are told by Scripture and Prophets to be in the world, but not of the world. Being “of the world” is taking us away from knowing the COMPLETE JOY that comes from following the teachings of our Savior, Jesus Christ. Knowing that He is the Son of God, He died for each of us, He Lives for each of us! Joy is putting that knowledge to use, using it to avoid the temptations of settling for just being “happy”.
Being “happy” vs. knowing what JOY is gives me the reassurance that making the changes I had in my life was the best thing I could have done! Not only for me, but for my family, my friends, and those who I will meet on this journey called life.
I now have a better understanding of what JOY truly is and how to use it in my life.
Psalms 16:11 “Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fullness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore.”
May we all find JOY in this life! I am so glad for the “random” moments of learning that touch my spirit and give me a better understanding of my Heavenly Father and His son Jesus Christ and help me to put my life in perspective. I hope that I can use this new perspective in my life and LIVE a life of JOY!
Update: July 10, 2011. I just saw this on lds.org and wanted to share it with this post This is a video that was put out by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, that share the testimonies three other people on this subject, the same Joy I feel now that I have come to know Jesus Christ.
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Talk Time
So I got a call from the 1st Counselor in the Bishopric, Brother Hendricksen, last Monday night. What could he have wanted you may ask? To extend the invitation to give a talk of course! I agreed and the subject was given. Alma 12:9-11 and boy oh boy, am I humbled from this last week of preparing for it. Super, SUPER humbled!
I've been warned to beware of pride in my Patriarchal Blessing. I learned this last week that I have been proud. Very, very proud. I am trying to be a better person, to learn from my mistakes. Let's hope this lesson lasts my lifetime and I don't need to feel like I've been hit by a mac 10 truck of humility ever again. K? K.
On a brighter note, I feel amazing!!!!! from said mac 10 truck of humility accident. I am positive that it was not by accident that I was the one asked to speak on the subject. Quite positive. I woke up this morning and felt lighter, like a heavy weight or burden had been lifted off of my heart, mind, and spirit. The power of repentance is sweet. Oh so sweet! It comes highly recommended.
I wanted to share my talk with ya'll, so here it is. Here's a hopin that you are on the side of knowing the mysteries of God and not on the side that willingly hardens their heart like I was.
Alma 12:9-11
9) And now Alma began to expound these things unto him, saying: It is given unto many to know the mysteries of God; nevertheless they are laid under a strict command that they shall not impart only according to the portion of his word which he doth grant unto the children of men, according to the heed and diligence which they give unto him.
10) And therefore, he that will harden his heart, the same receiveth the lesser portion of the word; and he that will not harden his heart to him is given the greater portion of the word, until it is given unto him to know the mysteries of God until he know them in full.
11) And they that will harden their hearts, to them is given the lesser portion of the word until they know nothing concerning his mysteries; and then they are taken captive by the devil, and led by his will down to destruction. Now this is what is meant by the chains of hell.
Breakdown:
Given unto many to know the mysteries of God
Those who do know the mysteries of God are under strict command; heed and diligence which they give unto him
He that hardens his heart, receives the lesser portion of the word
He that will not harden his heart is given the greater portion of the word
How we can know the mysteries of God in full
Those who harden their hearts, lesser portion of word until they know nothings concerning his mysteries
Taken captive by the devil
Led by his will down to destruction
Chains of hell = to know nothing of the mysteries of God
I love the language of the scriptures and the fact that in these specific versus Alma is “expounding these things...” unto us. It is now our job to apply this prophets teachings into our lives, so let’s expound on the expounding…
The word “will” is used three times in just 2 of these versus. I know that our agency is given in this choice of knowing the “mysteries” of God as much as our agency is given in all other aspects of our life. Our Heavenly Father is an unchangeable being and if He has given us the choice from the beginning, He will continue to give us the choice to the end. We need to continue to choose wisely, so that we may sit with Him and our Savior in the Heavenly courts above.
So now going to the question of: How does one WILLINGLY harden their heart?
Quoting President Benson from the April 1989 General Conference, he gives us the true name for hard- heartedness, Pride. He defines and expounds on Pride as such…
“Most of us think of pride as self-centeredness, conceit, boastfulness, arrogance, or haughtiness. All of these are elements of the sin, but the heart, or core, is still missing.
The central feature of pride is enmity—enmity toward God and enmity toward our fellowmen.”
Enmity means “hatred toward, hostility to, or a state of opposition.” It is the power by which Satan wishes to reign over us.
Pride is essentially competitive in nature. We pit our will against God’s. When we direct our pride toward God, it is in the spirit of “my will and not thine be done.” As Paul said, they “seek their own, not the things which are Jesus Christ’s” (Philip. 2:21).
Our will in competition to God’s will allows desires, appetites, and passions to go unbridled. (See Alma 38:12; 3 Ne. 12:30.)
The proud cannot accept the authority of God giving direction to their lives. (See Hel. 12:6.) They pit their perceptions of truth against God’s great knowledge, their abilities versus God’s priesthood power, their accomplishments against His mighty works… The proud wish God would agree with them. They aren’t interested in changing their opinions to agree with God’s.
Another major portion of this very prevalent sin of pride is enmity toward our fellowmen. We are tempted daily to elevate ourselves above others and diminish them. (See Hel. 6:17; D&C 58:41.)
The proud make every man their adversary by pitting their intellects, opinions, works, wealth, talents, or any other worldly measuring device against others. In the words of C. S. Lewis: “Pride gets no pleasure out of having something, only out of having more of it than the next man. … It is the comparison that makes you proud: the pleasure of being above the rest. Once the element of competition has gone, pride has gone” (Mere Christianity, 1952, 109–10). … ”
So what are the repercussions from a hardened heart?
As we read in verse 10, we are told that “… he that will harden his heart, the same receiveth the lesser portion of the word.” And we learn that in verse 11, that the “chains of hell” are NOT knowing the mysteries of God and the our willingness to be hard hearted, causes us to receive the lesser portion of the word until we know nothing concerning his mysteries. We are then taken captive by the devil and led by his will down to destruction.
Simply this, by hardening our hearts, we are able to be taken captive by the devil, which by his will, and I imagine with a smile on his face, we are led down to destruction. A destruction that involves “chains of hell”, not ropes, not plastic ties, not cloth, but CHAINS. These chains are built of that enmity toward God and those links that ultimately lead to it which are to quote President Kimball “self-centeredness, conceit, boastfulness, arrogance, or haughtiness.”
Now that we know that PRIDE is that heart hardening tool of the adversary that actually locks the mysteries of God from us, what then would be the key to opening those hardened hearts (assuming none of us a perfect and we all have had the sin of pride in our lives)?
HUMILITY, a broken heart and a contrite spirit.
Humility that brings us to the understanding and knowledge that Jesus Christ is our Savior and that only in and thru Him can we come to know our Father in Heaven. That if we abide by His example, His teachings, we may truly know the “mysteries of God”.
Whenever I think of the opposites of Pride and Humility, I think of a scripture in 3Nephi 13:24 *Read it* “No man can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will hold to the one and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and Mammon.”
The Savior is our ultimate teacher:
He was asked, what is the first and great commandment? Read Matthew 22:36-38
“Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and will all thy soul, and will all thy mind.”
Shalt (or shall). Not must, not have to, but shall.
With all Thy Heart. Thy Soul. Thy Mind.
And what is the second great commandment? Read Matthew 22:39
Christ answers again with, “Love thy neighbor as thyself”
In Verse 40 of the same chapter
“On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.”
Alma 12:9 “It is given unto many to know the mysteries of God; nevertheless they are laid under strict command that they shall not impart only according to the portion of his word which he doth grant unto the children of men, according to the heed and diligence which they give unto him.”
Are we those “many” whom Alma is speaking of who have been given the “know the mysteries of God”? Or, are we the “children of men” who are not giving the heed and diligence to know the mysteries of God? Are we listening to the Prophet of the Lord? Are we giving heed and diligence unto those who impart the knowledge of those mysteries?
We know though that through a “broken” heart this promise is given.
“… he that will not harden his heart, to him is given the greater portion of the word…”
We are not only given the promise to know the “greater portion of the word”, but we are promised that “… it is given unto him [he with a broken heart] to know the mysteries of God until he know them in full.”
Is there a timing to know the mysteries of God in full? And how do we obtain those mysteries for ourselves?
How convenient, I found a quote from Elder Dallin H. Oaks that gives us insight on those exact things.
He says:
“the “mysteries of God”—must be taught and transmitted in the Lord’s way, not in the world’s way.”
When Father Lehi sought to explain his vision to his rebellious older sons and exhort them to keep the commandments of God, they fell into disputing over his words. Young Nephi, who had just experienced the glorious interpreting vision he had sought, recorded that his father had spoken “many great things unto them, which were hard to be understood, save a man should inquire of the Lord; and they being hard in their hearts, therefore they did not look unto the Lord as they ought” (1 Ne. 15:3). We need to remember Nephi’s teaching that the mysteries of God, the choicest of spiritual food, cannot be understood “save a man should inquire of the Lord.”
“The prophet Ammon gave this significant recipe: “He that repenteth and exerciseth faith, and bringeth forth good works, and prayeth continually without ceasing—unto such it is given to know the mysteries of God” (Alma 26:22).”
Why is it important to know the mysteries of God? President Spencer W. Kimball (1895–1985) explained:
“Of all treasures of knowledge, the most vital is the knowledge of God: his existence, powers, love, and promises. …
“If we spend our mortal days in accumulating secular knowledge to the exclusion of the spiritual then we are in a dead-end street, for this is the time for man to prepare to meet God; this is the time for faith to be built…
The knowledge of God and His plan of salvation is the kind of knowledge that saves, and this kind of knowledge can be obtained only in the Lord’s way.”
Elder Oaks further emphasizes that:
“God reveals Himself and His eternal truths—the spiritual food that the scriptures call the bread of life and the living water—to those who seek, who serve, who keep His commandments, and who wait and listen in humility for His teaching… The things of God must be learned in his own way, through faith in God and revelation from the Holy Ghost”
I was talking with a friend about verse 9 and he gave me some really good insight that I want to share, he said this…
“It’s interesting how many times the Prophets stop what they are saying because we, the audience aren’t/weren’t ready for it. It might actually be harmful for the recipient to receive information they aren’t ready to grasp or aren’t ready to live. Infants must drink milk before they are ready for meat.”
It is our personal choice to know the mysteries of God. It is our personal choice to choose humility over pride.
It’s simple: Love God and love our neighbor. Give heed and diligence unto God. Listen to His Prophets and we can know the mysteries of God.
The older I get the more I learn that simple does not equal easy.
Humility is not easy. Worth it, yes. Easy, no.
I know God lives. I know that He, our Father in Heaven loves us. Each of us. I know that through faith in Jesus Christ that we can return to live with Him again. I know that as we live worthily of the companionship of the Holy Ghost that our lives will be made easier and our burdens will seem light. I know that the mysteries of God will be revealed to each of us at the timing that is right for each of us. I know that the Book of Mormon is the word of God and that we can become closer to Him by abiding by it's precepts than by any other book. I know that we have a living Prophet, even Thomas S. Monson, who is leading and guiding the church in this day. I share these things with you in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.
I've been warned to beware of pride in my Patriarchal Blessing. I learned this last week that I have been proud. Very, very proud. I am trying to be a better person, to learn from my mistakes. Let's hope this lesson lasts my lifetime and I don't need to feel like I've been hit by a mac 10 truck of humility ever again. K? K.
On a brighter note, I feel amazing!!!!! from said mac 10 truck of humility accident. I am positive that it was not by accident that I was the one asked to speak on the subject. Quite positive. I woke up this morning and felt lighter, like a heavy weight or burden had been lifted off of my heart, mind, and spirit. The power of repentance is sweet. Oh so sweet! It comes highly recommended.
I wanted to share my talk with ya'll, so here it is. Here's a hopin that you are on the side of knowing the mysteries of God and not on the side that willingly hardens their heart like I was.
Alma 12:9-11
9) And now Alma began to expound these things unto him, saying: It is given unto many to know the mysteries of God; nevertheless they are laid under a strict command that they shall not impart only according to the portion of his word which he doth grant unto the children of men, according to the heed and diligence which they give unto him.
10) And therefore, he that will harden his heart, the same receiveth the lesser portion of the word; and he that will not harden his heart to him is given the greater portion of the word, until it is given unto him to know the mysteries of God until he know them in full.
11) And they that will harden their hearts, to them is given the lesser portion of the word until they know nothing concerning his mysteries; and then they are taken captive by the devil, and led by his will down to destruction. Now this is what is meant by the chains of hell.
Breakdown:
Given unto many to know the mysteries of God
Those who do know the mysteries of God are under strict command; heed and diligence which they give unto him
He that hardens his heart, receives the lesser portion of the word
He that will not harden his heart is given the greater portion of the word
How we can know the mysteries of God in full
Those who harden their hearts, lesser portion of word until they know nothings concerning his mysteries
Taken captive by the devil
Led by his will down to destruction
Chains of hell = to know nothing of the mysteries of God
I love the language of the scriptures and the fact that in these specific versus Alma is “expounding these things...” unto us. It is now our job to apply this prophets teachings into our lives, so let’s expound on the expounding…
The word “will” is used three times in just 2 of these versus. I know that our agency is given in this choice of knowing the “mysteries” of God as much as our agency is given in all other aspects of our life. Our Heavenly Father is an unchangeable being and if He has given us the choice from the beginning, He will continue to give us the choice to the end. We need to continue to choose wisely, so that we may sit with Him and our Savior in the Heavenly courts above.
So now going to the question of: How does one WILLINGLY harden their heart?
Quoting President Benson from the April 1989 General Conference, he gives us the true name for hard- heartedness, Pride. He defines and expounds on Pride as such…
“Most of us think of pride as self-centeredness, conceit, boastfulness, arrogance, or haughtiness. All of these are elements of the sin, but the heart, or core, is still missing.
The central feature of pride is enmity—enmity toward God and enmity toward our fellowmen.”
Enmity means “hatred toward, hostility to, or a state of opposition.” It is the power by which Satan wishes to reign over us.
Pride is essentially competitive in nature. We pit our will against God’s. When we direct our pride toward God, it is in the spirit of “my will and not thine be done.” As Paul said, they “seek their own, not the things which are Jesus Christ’s” (Philip. 2:21).
Our will in competition to God’s will allows desires, appetites, and passions to go unbridled. (See Alma 38:12; 3 Ne. 12:30.)
The proud cannot accept the authority of God giving direction to their lives. (See Hel. 12:6.) They pit their perceptions of truth against God’s great knowledge, their abilities versus God’s priesthood power, their accomplishments against His mighty works… The proud wish God would agree with them. They aren’t interested in changing their opinions to agree with God’s.
Another major portion of this very prevalent sin of pride is enmity toward our fellowmen. We are tempted daily to elevate ourselves above others and diminish them. (See Hel. 6:17; D&C 58:41.)
The proud make every man their adversary by pitting their intellects, opinions, works, wealth, talents, or any other worldly measuring device against others. In the words of C. S. Lewis: “Pride gets no pleasure out of having something, only out of having more of it than the next man. … It is the comparison that makes you proud: the pleasure of being above the rest. Once the element of competition has gone, pride has gone” (Mere Christianity, 1952, 109–10). … ”
So what are the repercussions from a hardened heart?
As we read in verse 10, we are told that “… he that will harden his heart, the same receiveth the lesser portion of the word.” And we learn that in verse 11, that the “chains of hell” are NOT knowing the mysteries of God and the our willingness to be hard hearted, causes us to receive the lesser portion of the word until we know nothing concerning his mysteries. We are then taken captive by the devil and led by his will down to destruction.
Simply this, by hardening our hearts, we are able to be taken captive by the devil, which by his will, and I imagine with a smile on his face, we are led down to destruction. A destruction that involves “chains of hell”, not ropes, not plastic ties, not cloth, but CHAINS. These chains are built of that enmity toward God and those links that ultimately lead to it which are to quote President Kimball “self-centeredness, conceit, boastfulness, arrogance, or haughtiness.”
Now that we know that PRIDE is that heart hardening tool of the adversary that actually locks the mysteries of God from us, what then would be the key to opening those hardened hearts (assuming none of us a perfect and we all have had the sin of pride in our lives)?
HUMILITY, a broken heart and a contrite spirit.
Humility that brings us to the understanding and knowledge that Jesus Christ is our Savior and that only in and thru Him can we come to know our Father in Heaven. That if we abide by His example, His teachings, we may truly know the “mysteries of God”.
Whenever I think of the opposites of Pride and Humility, I think of a scripture in 3Nephi 13:24 *Read it* “No man can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will hold to the one and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and Mammon.”
The Savior is our ultimate teacher:
He was asked, what is the first and great commandment? Read Matthew 22:36-38
“Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and will all thy soul, and will all thy mind.”
Shalt (or shall). Not must, not have to, but shall.
With all Thy Heart. Thy Soul. Thy Mind.
And what is the second great commandment? Read Matthew 22:39
Christ answers again with, “Love thy neighbor as thyself”
In Verse 40 of the same chapter
“On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.”
Alma 12:9 “It is given unto many to know the mysteries of God; nevertheless they are laid under strict command that they shall not impart only according to the portion of his word which he doth grant unto the children of men, according to the heed and diligence which they give unto him.”
Are we those “many” whom Alma is speaking of who have been given the “know the mysteries of God”? Or, are we the “children of men” who are not giving the heed and diligence to know the mysteries of God? Are we listening to the Prophet of the Lord? Are we giving heed and diligence unto those who impart the knowledge of those mysteries?
We know though that through a “broken” heart this promise is given.
“… he that will not harden his heart, to him is given the greater portion of the word…”
We are not only given the promise to know the “greater portion of the word”, but we are promised that “… it is given unto him [he with a broken heart] to know the mysteries of God until he know them in full.”
Is there a timing to know the mysteries of God in full? And how do we obtain those mysteries for ourselves?
How convenient, I found a quote from Elder Dallin H. Oaks that gives us insight on those exact things.
He says:
“the “mysteries of God”—must be taught and transmitted in the Lord’s way, not in the world’s way.”
When Father Lehi sought to explain his vision to his rebellious older sons and exhort them to keep the commandments of God, they fell into disputing over his words. Young Nephi, who had just experienced the glorious interpreting vision he had sought, recorded that his father had spoken “many great things unto them, which were hard to be understood, save a man should inquire of the Lord; and they being hard in their hearts, therefore they did not look unto the Lord as they ought” (1 Ne. 15:3). We need to remember Nephi’s teaching that the mysteries of God, the choicest of spiritual food, cannot be understood “save a man should inquire of the Lord.”
“The prophet Ammon gave this significant recipe: “He that repenteth and exerciseth faith, and bringeth forth good works, and prayeth continually without ceasing—unto such it is given to know the mysteries of God” (Alma 26:22).”
Why is it important to know the mysteries of God? President Spencer W. Kimball (1895–1985) explained:
“Of all treasures of knowledge, the most vital is the knowledge of God: his existence, powers, love, and promises. …
“If we spend our mortal days in accumulating secular knowledge to the exclusion of the spiritual then we are in a dead-end street, for this is the time for man to prepare to meet God; this is the time for faith to be built…
The knowledge of God and His plan of salvation is the kind of knowledge that saves, and this kind of knowledge can be obtained only in the Lord’s way.”
Elder Oaks further emphasizes that:
“God reveals Himself and His eternal truths—the spiritual food that the scriptures call the bread of life and the living water—to those who seek, who serve, who keep His commandments, and who wait and listen in humility for His teaching… The things of God must be learned in his own way, through faith in God and revelation from the Holy Ghost”
I was talking with a friend about verse 9 and he gave me some really good insight that I want to share, he said this…
“It’s interesting how many times the Prophets stop what they are saying because we, the audience aren’t/weren’t ready for it. It might actually be harmful for the recipient to receive information they aren’t ready to grasp or aren’t ready to live. Infants must drink milk before they are ready for meat.”
It is our personal choice to know the mysteries of God. It is our personal choice to choose humility over pride.
It’s simple: Love God and love our neighbor. Give heed and diligence unto God. Listen to His Prophets and we can know the mysteries of God.
The older I get the more I learn that simple does not equal easy.
Humility is not easy. Worth it, yes. Easy, no.
I know God lives. I know that He, our Father in Heaven loves us. Each of us. I know that through faith in Jesus Christ that we can return to live with Him again. I know that as we live worthily of the companionship of the Holy Ghost that our lives will be made easier and our burdens will seem light. I know that the mysteries of God will be revealed to each of us at the timing that is right for each of us. I know that the Book of Mormon is the word of God and that we can become closer to Him by abiding by it's precepts than by any other book. I know that we have a living Prophet, even Thomas S. Monson, who is leading and guiding the church in this day. I share these things with you in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Friends.
Ok, update time.
Friends. We've been heading that route for a while, I just think I was in denial about it. I've had the amazing adventure of figuring out my own feelings on this one. It's kinda funny to now have the view point of being outside of the liking Hot Man box (ok, maybe I'm not completely outside of the box, but I see things a little clearer from where I am standing inside the box). It has helped me to see a few things differently, also known as new perspectives that I hadn't seen before.
I have said it before, but I'll say it again. I really want to LIVE life! He helped me to really see how I can do that. It's funny, he doesn't even know he has helped me, but I've learned a little more about myself, my potential, and a little more of my worth. I should really thank him for that.
I do love this adventure of life and all the learning that happens. I now know that "Findin' My Ore" isn't going to be easy, but what an amazing adventure it is!
And come on, how much sweeter is the end result going to be because I know that I had to work that much harder for it?!
Til the next crush. Ado.
Friends. We've been heading that route for a while, I just think I was in denial about it. I've had the amazing adventure of figuring out my own feelings on this one. It's kinda funny to now have the view point of being outside of the liking Hot Man box (ok, maybe I'm not completely outside of the box, but I see things a little clearer from where I am standing inside the box). It has helped me to see a few things differently, also known as new perspectives that I hadn't seen before.
I have said it before, but I'll say it again. I really want to LIVE life! He helped me to really see how I can do that. It's funny, he doesn't even know he has helped me, but I've learned a little more about myself, my potential, and a little more of my worth. I should really thank him for that.
I do love this adventure of life and all the learning that happens. I now know that "Findin' My Ore" isn't going to be easy, but what an amazing adventure it is!
And come on, how much sweeter is the end result going to be because I know that I had to work that much harder for it?!
Til the next crush. Ado.
Friday, July 9, 2010
Update on Update
Soooo. Yeah. Ummm. I like Hot Man more than earlier anticipated. Not sure what to do at this point. I see flying by the seat of my pants for a while. Let's see what happens and hope for a positive outcome. Whether we do end up just friends or have something more. I hope I'm ok with either.
Hmmm. More to come.
Hmmm. More to come.
Friday, June 25, 2010
Update
Ixney on Hot Man-ey being anything more than friends. Which is a good thing. Lessons learned, perspectives on life opened and testimony on certain things has been re affirmed. All and all, a good experience.
Ok, really, the Lord. The Lord has made it all a good experience. If I relied wholly upon myself, I would be a spiritual, emotional, and physical mess. Not because any extremes happened, but because I am a girl and we're a little "special". haha.
So, onto the next adventure.
One of my Instructors at school wants to set me up on a blind date with a friend she has in Provo. She says he's amazing! Let's see how this works out. *grin*
Ok, really, the Lord. The Lord has made it all a good experience. If I relied wholly upon myself, I would be a spiritual, emotional, and physical mess. Not because any extremes happened, but because I am a girl and we're a little "special". haha.
So, onto the next adventure.
One of my Instructors at school wants to set me up on a blind date with a friend she has in Provo. She says he's amazing! Let's see how this works out. *grin*
Monday, May 31, 2010
Talent Sharing. Check.
Again, if you know me, being the center of attention is not my thing! It used to really intimidates me to have people watch me. I had the blessing though of being the FHE co chair for almost a year when I was in one of my wards up here. I was the "in charge" person and had to conduct and give lessons in front of a lot of people.
By the end of the year, my voice stopped shaking, I was able to actually think and process thoughts while speaking instead of choking up, and I stopped turning completely red. My cheeks still had a tinge of pink, but the bright red had faded. *grin*
Then an opportunity at work came up a few months later to make a customer service video and my manager asked me if I wanted to be a part of it. I said I would.
Ahhhh!!! Why did I say I would?! I was freaking out! I talked myself into thinking... I wasn't as nervous being in front of people as much as I was a year before and because the people who would be watching the video had NO idea that I was nervous. I would just have to "fake it" until I made it.
And made it we did.
I ended up not being as nervous doing it because all of the parts I "played" were things that I do for my job. This time I just happened to be be mic'd and being videotaped while doing it. I don't really want to see the completed video, I'm sure I'll feel dumb watching myself, but it allowed me to be comfortable with the idea of making a cooking video when I saw adds for a contest that came up last month.
I truly LOVE the way our Heavenly Father works in preparing us for future events with the current situations in our lives. I would have never thought I would make a cooking video, post it online, and have the confidence to turn it into a contest! (by the way, I thought it was REALLY REALLY fun and will be probably making more videos even though there is no contest now)
The contest is call "Real Women of Philadelphia" and Paula Deen is the host of the contest. It's a contest with Philadelphia Cream Cheese where you make cooking video with an origianl recipe using their cream cheese. I made up all the recipes the day of the shooting. Thankfully they all turned out quite tasty! hehe
Silvia was my camera man. We used my digital camera and tri-pod (shout out the Mechelle and Andy for the amazing camera and Scoot for the tri-pod, they are gifts that keep on giving.) We made a total of three videos. It was funny and a little akward at first, but by the last video, we were pro's. Hopefully you can also tell that each video got a little better. I got to play with editing, which again, I found out was really fun!
I've also learned that if it's something I am comfortable in doing and feel I have a knowledge of already, that it isn't as hard for me, or that I'm not as nervous doing it. Kinda nice.
So the contest: there are 16 semi finalists that will be flown out to Georgia and from those 16 they will choose 4 winners. The 4 women will receive prize money, a cook book deal with Philadelphia Cream Cheese, and all the adventures of making and promoting the cookbook over the next year!
Isn't that cool?! I'll find out if I'm a finalist in the next week or so. I can't wait to go to Georgia! *wink*
I really do love this adventure of life! The experiences we have all been given and the influence we each have to share from those experiences is truly a blessing! Sharing Talents. Check. Well at least the talent of cooking, not acting so much. haha.
Now how can this adventure apply to "Findin' My Ore"? Only time will tell, but I'm voting trying something new and venturing out of my comfort zone won't hurt with the dating stuff in the future! haha
I hope you enjoy the video!
By the end of the year, my voice stopped shaking, I was able to actually think and process thoughts while speaking instead of choking up, and I stopped turning completely red. My cheeks still had a tinge of pink, but the bright red had faded. *grin*
Then an opportunity at work came up a few months later to make a customer service video and my manager asked me if I wanted to be a part of it. I said I would.
Ahhhh!!! Why did I say I would?! I was freaking out! I talked myself into thinking... I wasn't as nervous being in front of people as much as I was a year before and because the people who would be watching the video had NO idea that I was nervous. I would just have to "fake it" until I made it.
And made it we did.
I ended up not being as nervous doing it because all of the parts I "played" were things that I do for my job. This time I just happened to be be mic'd and being videotaped while doing it. I don't really want to see the completed video, I'm sure I'll feel dumb watching myself, but it allowed me to be comfortable with the idea of making a cooking video when I saw adds for a contest that came up last month.
I truly LOVE the way our Heavenly Father works in preparing us for future events with the current situations in our lives. I would have never thought I would make a cooking video, post it online, and have the confidence to turn it into a contest! (by the way, I thought it was REALLY REALLY fun and will be probably making more videos even though there is no contest now)
The contest is call "Real Women of Philadelphia" and Paula Deen is the host of the contest. It's a contest with Philadelphia Cream Cheese where you make cooking video with an origianl recipe using their cream cheese. I made up all the recipes the day of the shooting. Thankfully they all turned out quite tasty! hehe
Silvia was my camera man. We used my digital camera and tri-pod (shout out the Mechelle and Andy for the amazing camera and Scoot for the tri-pod, they are gifts that keep on giving.) We made a total of three videos. It was funny and a little akward at first, but by the last video, we were pro's. Hopefully you can also tell that each video got a little better. I got to play with editing, which again, I found out was really fun!
I've also learned that if it's something I am comfortable in doing and feel I have a knowledge of already, that it isn't as hard for me, or that I'm not as nervous doing it. Kinda nice.
So the contest: there are 16 semi finalists that will be flown out to Georgia and from those 16 they will choose 4 winners. The 4 women will receive prize money, a cook book deal with Philadelphia Cream Cheese, and all the adventures of making and promoting the cookbook over the next year!
Isn't that cool?! I'll find out if I'm a finalist in the next week or so. I can't wait to go to Georgia! *wink*
I really do love this adventure of life! The experiences we have all been given and the influence we each have to share from those experiences is truly a blessing! Sharing Talents. Check. Well at least the talent of cooking, not acting so much. haha.
Now how can this adventure apply to "Findin' My Ore"? Only time will tell, but I'm voting trying something new and venturing out of my comfort zone won't hurt with the dating stuff in the future! haha
I hope you enjoy the video!
Answer figured out.
Well... he likes me *wink*
The how much part still needs to be figured out from both parties. So, stay tuned because I'm not sure if he knows he does yet. haha
The how much part still needs to be figured out from both parties. So, stay tuned because I'm not sure if he knows he does yet. haha
Monday, May 17, 2010
Fog, What fog?
So apparently... I like him. Boy is this an adventure.
Over the last few weeks or so I've been talking a lot with Hot Man (I'll give you his real name someday, but for now, I don't think he would mind me using my nickname for him, which he actually doesn't know I call him yet. That will be a fun story to tell when I tell him that. hehe.) and I've been able to spend some more time with him in person. Dinner, a walk, and some breakfast. Good times had by all. I don't know whats going to happen. I don't know the end result with him, but I know he is a good man and I really enjoy being around him.
Here goes my girl rant... ready... Go!
I don't know what to think! *Warning* girl thought process about to take place:
How the crap am I supposed to be able to tell if he likes me? Likes me more than friend likes me? I like to think he does, but then he does something that makes me think otherwise. A better thought on "does something" is the lack of him doing something. He's not initiating contact. Is it because he's not interested, or because that's just him? Is it weird for me to ask him? I'm a straight forward kinda girl and that I can picture getting me into trouble.
See this is where the being an over thinking girl is a bad thing. I need to not worry about it, right? Right. He's a good guy and if we just end up friends, I think we can both benefit from knowing each other. That's a good thing. I'll give ya a run down on said man, so you can have a little perspective on my thinking...
He's 36, has 2 daughters (7 & 4), and after seeing him with his youngest, I have no doubt whatsoever that he adores them. He works full time and goes to school full time (thinking nursing career maybe), he's been a road bike racer and still enjoys speed! He seems to be really enjoying the adventure of life and has the attitude of it's ok not to win, as long as you had a good time while you were trying (which is exactly how I feel, Kara got all the freaky competitive stuff, huh babe?). He's smart, amazingly polite (I'm not tooting my own horn here, but I think I usually do a pretty good job with my please and thank you's, but he always says it before me... really before I can even process the thought to say it! I'm very impressed). He's very mild tempered, good listener, lover of sports and encourages his girls to see and try new things. He doesn't seem to mind change and is an all around good guy.
Impressed? Yep. I am too.
That whole not worrying thing would be really nice right about now. Let's try that.
No worrying future. Here I COME!
I'll keep ya updated on how that's going. Ok, maybe I won't because it would cause me to think and ponder on it which would lead to "worrying". Better yet. I'll let ya know if anything ever happens. *grin*
Over the last few weeks or so I've been talking a lot with Hot Man (I'll give you his real name someday, but for now, I don't think he would mind me using my nickname for him, which he actually doesn't know I call him yet. That will be a fun story to tell when I tell him that. hehe.) and I've been able to spend some more time with him in person. Dinner, a walk, and some breakfast. Good times had by all. I don't know whats going to happen. I don't know the end result with him, but I know he is a good man and I really enjoy being around him.
Here goes my girl rant... ready... Go!
I don't know what to think! *Warning* girl thought process about to take place:
How the crap am I supposed to be able to tell if he likes me? Likes me more than friend likes me? I like to think he does, but then he does something that makes me think otherwise. A better thought on "does something" is the lack of him doing something. He's not initiating contact. Is it because he's not interested, or because that's just him? Is it weird for me to ask him? I'm a straight forward kinda girl and that I can picture getting me into trouble.
See this is where the being an over thinking girl is a bad thing. I need to not worry about it, right? Right. He's a good guy and if we just end up friends, I think we can both benefit from knowing each other. That's a good thing. I'll give ya a run down on said man, so you can have a little perspective on my thinking...
He's 36, has 2 daughters (7 & 4), and after seeing him with his youngest, I have no doubt whatsoever that he adores them. He works full time and goes to school full time (thinking nursing career maybe), he's been a road bike racer and still enjoys speed! He seems to be really enjoying the adventure of life and has the attitude of it's ok not to win, as long as you had a good time while you were trying (which is exactly how I feel, Kara got all the freaky competitive stuff, huh babe?). He's smart, amazingly polite (I'm not tooting my own horn here, but I think I usually do a pretty good job with my please and thank you's, but he always says it before me... really before I can even process the thought to say it! I'm very impressed). He's very mild tempered, good listener, lover of sports and encourages his girls to see and try new things. He doesn't seem to mind change and is an all around good guy.
Impressed? Yep. I am too.
That whole not worrying thing would be really nice right about now. Let's try that.
No worrying future. Here I COME!
I'll keep ya updated on how that's going. Ok, maybe I won't because it would cause me to think and ponder on it which would lead to "worrying". Better yet. I'll let ya know if anything ever happens. *grin*
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Epiphany the other day...
Epiphany the other day...
Charity is when you have a desire to love others because you truly love them, not when you love them because you know God wants you to.
Charity is when you have a desire to love others because you truly love them, not when you love them because you know God wants you to.
To be human is hard
Today, today has been an educational day and it's only 1pm.
I woke up and went and registered for school. I start on May 11 and should be done with the 400 hours that Utah requires me to get for my Cosmetology license sometime in August. Soooo exciting!!! I am actually being serious here, not sarcastic. If you know me at all, you know the I HATED beauty school the first time around. This time though, it's only 3 months and I know what I'm doing. So yeah, it will hopefully fly by *grin*
Since you can see that I registered for school, this is also the post where I will inform you of my plan to stay in Salt Lake for the summer. It's funny, I haven't had a plan or set goals for so long, that it's kinda weird to see how it all is coming together. Lesson about self learned = set goals and have a plan because it helps me to have a more positive outlook on things.
side note: I felt it was a good thing to go back the New Hampshire for the summer and everything would have worked out just fine, but I feel it's a better decision to stay here and finish school first. I truly love the Gift of the Holy Ghost! Answered Prayers! and the true feeling of the LOVE of God! How sweet it is!
So... onto the quote for life, ok it's really a poem, but still.
The Fellowship of the Unashamed
"I am part of the fellowship of the unashamed. I have stepped over the line. The decision has been made. I am a disciple of Jesus Christ. I won't look back, slow down, or be still. My past is redeemed, my present makes sense, my future is secure. I'm finished and done with low living, small planning, smooth knees, colorless dreams, tamed visions, worldly talking, cheap giving and dwarfed goals. I don't have to be right, first, or rewarded. I now live by faith, lean on His presence, walk with patience, am uplifted by prayer, and labor with power. My face is set, my gate is fast, my goal is Heaven. My guide is reliable, my mission is clear. I will not flinch in the face of sacrifice, hesitate in the presence of the adversary, negotiate at the table of the enemy, ponder at the pool of popularity, or meander in the maze of mediocrity. I won't give up, shut up, or let up until I have stayed up, stored up, and paid up for the cause of Christ. I must go till He comes, give till I drop, preach till all know, and work till He stops me. And when He comes for His won, He will have no problem recognizing me. My banner will be clear."
Henry B. Eyring
I went on a date two weeks ago with a really great guy. We went to Costco for dinner (my idea, it was a whopping $5, he paid. I called it the cheapest date ever and he corrected me and said, no, not cheap, but inexpensive was a better definition.) then we headed back to my apartment and talked for a couple hours. I had a good time, it was really comfortable talking to him. We work together, but we hadn't ever really talked at work. It was really nice to get to know him. My friend at work and I now refer to him as "Hot Man" so no one at work knows who we are talking about. You can tell by his nickname that I am completely attracted to him. *grin*
I promise this has something to do with the quote and I'm not just throwing it out there that I went on a date. Well... maybe throwing it out there a little bit *wink*
So... I feel we talked about a lot of different things, but the Gospel is one thing we didn't touch on. Well, I went on my little testimony rampage about being the "chosen" generation and the responsibility we have to the children being born in these days, but it was short and sweet and he didn't seem to mind. He knows I'm "Mormon" and I know that he is not, or at least not active.
I've been having a hard time with that, and by "that" I mean, liking a non member. I have great imagination, which sometimes can get me into trouble because I can imagine futures... not that they are even remotely plausible, but still... I imagine. I'm not saying I'm going to fall for him specifically, but what if I do or I fall for someone who is not active or not a member?
I was talking to Silvia (my sister in law) and she gave me great insight on myself. Funny how that works, someone else giving you insight on yourself. It worked, so I'm not knocking it. She helped me to see that I have already made my choice to follow my Savior. I have already made my choice to have an Eternal family when the time comes. I have made my decision on the life that I want to live. I want a home where the Gospel can be taught without the interference from the evil one. I want my children to know our Savior as I do. His Mercy, His Justice, His Love!
My choice is clear before me... but what if I fog it up? Ahhh man. To be human is hard! It's like this life is a place to be learning and growing or something? I'll let ya know what happens.
I woke up and went and registered for school. I start on May 11 and should be done with the 400 hours that Utah requires me to get for my Cosmetology license sometime in August. Soooo exciting!!! I am actually being serious here, not sarcastic. If you know me at all, you know the I HATED beauty school the first time around. This time though, it's only 3 months and I know what I'm doing. So yeah, it will hopefully fly by *grin*
Since you can see that I registered for school, this is also the post where I will inform you of my plan to stay in Salt Lake for the summer. It's funny, I haven't had a plan or set goals for so long, that it's kinda weird to see how it all is coming together. Lesson about self learned = set goals and have a plan because it helps me to have a more positive outlook on things.
side note: I felt it was a good thing to go back the New Hampshire for the summer and everything would have worked out just fine, but I feel it's a better decision to stay here and finish school first. I truly love the Gift of the Holy Ghost! Answered Prayers! and the true feeling of the LOVE of God! How sweet it is!
So... onto the quote for life, ok it's really a poem, but still.
The Fellowship of the Unashamed
"I am part of the fellowship of the unashamed. I have stepped over the line. The decision has been made. I am a disciple of Jesus Christ. I won't look back, slow down, or be still. My past is redeemed, my present makes sense, my future is secure. I'm finished and done with low living, small planning, smooth knees, colorless dreams, tamed visions, worldly talking, cheap giving and dwarfed goals. I don't have to be right, first, or rewarded. I now live by faith, lean on His presence, walk with patience, am uplifted by prayer, and labor with power. My face is set, my gate is fast, my goal is Heaven. My guide is reliable, my mission is clear. I will not flinch in the face of sacrifice, hesitate in the presence of the adversary, negotiate at the table of the enemy, ponder at the pool of popularity, or meander in the maze of mediocrity. I won't give up, shut up, or let up until I have stayed up, stored up, and paid up for the cause of Christ. I must go till He comes, give till I drop, preach till all know, and work till He stops me. And when He comes for His won, He will have no problem recognizing me. My banner will be clear."
Henry B. Eyring
I went on a date two weeks ago with a really great guy. We went to Costco for dinner (my idea, it was a whopping $5, he paid. I called it the cheapest date ever and he corrected me and said, no, not cheap, but inexpensive was a better definition.) then we headed back to my apartment and talked for a couple hours. I had a good time, it was really comfortable talking to him. We work together, but we hadn't ever really talked at work. It was really nice to get to know him. My friend at work and I now refer to him as "Hot Man" so no one at work knows who we are talking about. You can tell by his nickname that I am completely attracted to him. *grin*
I promise this has something to do with the quote and I'm not just throwing it out there that I went on a date. Well... maybe throwing it out there a little bit *wink*
So... I feel we talked about a lot of different things, but the Gospel is one thing we didn't touch on. Well, I went on my little testimony rampage about being the "chosen" generation and the responsibility we have to the children being born in these days, but it was short and sweet and he didn't seem to mind. He knows I'm "Mormon" and I know that he is not, or at least not active.
I've been having a hard time with that, and by "that" I mean, liking a non member. I have great imagination, which sometimes can get me into trouble because I can imagine futures... not that they are even remotely plausible, but still... I imagine. I'm not saying I'm going to fall for him specifically, but what if I do or I fall for someone who is not active or not a member?
I was talking to Silvia (my sister in law) and she gave me great insight on myself. Funny how that works, someone else giving you insight on yourself. It worked, so I'm not knocking it. She helped me to see that I have already made my choice to follow my Savior. I have already made my choice to have an Eternal family when the time comes. I have made my decision on the life that I want to live. I want a home where the Gospel can be taught without the interference from the evil one. I want my children to know our Savior as I do. His Mercy, His Justice, His Love!
My choice is clear before me... but what if I fog it up? Ahhh man. To be human is hard! It's like this life is a place to be learning and growing or something? I'll let ya know what happens.
Monday, March 22, 2010
p.s.
p.s. I didn't get the blogging column, but I'm actually really thankful for it now. I am so not organized enough right now for that to have been a success and not a stress, so it's TOTALLY a good thing.
p.p.s. Said crush is kinda slow on the uptake. If nothing ends up happening, it is for sure NOT because I haven't tried. I have gone out of my comfort zone on multiple occasions. Who knows, maybe that's what I was supposed to learn, go out of my comfort zone, it's ok to do that sometimes... it's like you grow or something when you try something new? haha.
p.p.p.s. I am going to go to NEW HAMPSHIRE for the summer!!! hehehe. I am soooooooooooo EXCITED!!! My friend Megan invited me out to visit, so I jumped on that band wagon real quick and she and her hubby, the amazing Mathias, have decided to let me stay with them for the summer! Mid May-mid August. I have always wanted to see New England and what better time than now!? I'm going stop and visit family on my way out, use my cosmetology license and work in a shop, maybe look into working at a diner or something too and take the summer to learn some new stuff! It's pretty much going to be the best summer ever!
Ok, that's all my p.s.'s for now :)
p.p.s. Said crush is kinda slow on the uptake. If nothing ends up happening, it is for sure NOT because I haven't tried. I have gone out of my comfort zone on multiple occasions. Who knows, maybe that's what I was supposed to learn, go out of my comfort zone, it's ok to do that sometimes... it's like you grow or something when you try something new? haha.
p.p.p.s. I am going to go to NEW HAMPSHIRE for the summer!!! hehehe. I am soooooooooooo EXCITED!!! My friend Megan invited me out to visit, so I jumped on that band wagon real quick and she and her hubby, the amazing Mathias, have decided to let me stay with them for the summer! Mid May-mid August. I have always wanted to see New England and what better time than now!? I'm going stop and visit family on my way out, use my cosmetology license and work in a shop, maybe look into working at a diner or something too and take the summer to learn some new stuff! It's pretty much going to be the best summer ever!
Ok, that's all my p.s.'s for now :)
Monday, March 8, 2010
New Mantra!
I started a new job in September 2008 a few months after moving back up to Salt Lake. It was a job that I've done before and knew how to do well. I was ready to leave the catering company that I worked for and head back into health care which I love.
This job came so easy! Really, really easy! One day I got a call seeing if I wanted to go in for an interview. I hadn't even put in an application. A friend from my ward had told her supervisors about the experience I had and that I was looking for another job. I went in, interviewed well and started the following week. I wondered and still wonder about the timing of it all. I am in awe of a kind and loving Heavenly Father who puts us in the best places for each of us to learn and grow.
Learning and growing are for sure in progress! Working where I do is opening up a lot of doors, not opening doors in the aspect of moving up in the company, which I am ok with at the moment, but in the aspect of seeing how I can be a better person through being more "open" to the doors that I may come across. In regards to people, places, and things.
Doors within my own thinking, within my own heart, within my own actions. I want to evaluate my life and the things that are around me in hopes to have a better perspective on what more the Lord would have me do with the situations and surroundings around me.
I've realized that this adventure of "finding my ore" didn't come by chance at this time of my life. I know now that the literal finding will happen in the Lord's timing, but the preparing myself spiritually, mentally, and physically for the task of building a ship is in my hands now.
I think this blog will continue to be a place for me to write my spiritual progression rather than my dating life. Which, is so much more interesting in the long run anyway *wink* I'm sure there will be some comments on my dating life in here somewhere, but I'll focus on the aspect of bettering myself so I can then better the world around me. I ask myself how can I teach something or be an example of something if I haven't experienced or am not living it myself?
Which brings us in a long round about way to my new mantra... I want to be living a life and be the type of person who is able to Love Openly and Serve Willingly!
It's weird, I started this post with my thoughts being on patience and timing and then look what it turned into. It's now a hodgepodge of randmoness. Eh, it helped me to open up some thinking, maybe it will somehow randomly do that for you too. haha.
This job came so easy! Really, really easy! One day I got a call seeing if I wanted to go in for an interview. I hadn't even put in an application. A friend from my ward had told her supervisors about the experience I had and that I was looking for another job. I went in, interviewed well and started the following week. I wondered and still wonder about the timing of it all. I am in awe of a kind and loving Heavenly Father who puts us in the best places for each of us to learn and grow.
Learning and growing are for sure in progress! Working where I do is opening up a lot of doors, not opening doors in the aspect of moving up in the company, which I am ok with at the moment, but in the aspect of seeing how I can be a better person through being more "open" to the doors that I may come across. In regards to people, places, and things.
Doors within my own thinking, within my own heart, within my own actions. I want to evaluate my life and the things that are around me in hopes to have a better perspective on what more the Lord would have me do with the situations and surroundings around me.
I've realized that this adventure of "finding my ore" didn't come by chance at this time of my life. I know now that the literal finding will happen in the Lord's timing, but the preparing myself spiritually, mentally, and physically for the task of building a ship is in my hands now.
I think this blog will continue to be a place for me to write my spiritual progression rather than my dating life. Which, is so much more interesting in the long run anyway *wink* I'm sure there will be some comments on my dating life in here somewhere, but I'll focus on the aspect of bettering myself so I can then better the world around me. I ask myself how can I teach something or be an example of something if I haven't experienced or am not living it myself?
Which brings us in a long round about way to my new mantra... I want to be living a life and be the type of person who is able to Love Openly and Serve Willingly!
It's weird, I started this post with my thoughts being on patience and timing and then look what it turned into. It's now a hodgepodge of randmoness. Eh, it helped me to open up some thinking, maybe it will somehow randomly do that for you too. haha.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Faith is an ACTION word
So...
There has been a lot of personal revelation recently regarding my faith. Where I need strengthening, realizing that I need to take some steps into the dark, knowing that my Heavenly Father will give the further light. I really want to understand, aka "try", the part of Faith that makes it an action word.
It's really funny, I just got home from work at 12:15am and I was in my room. Riley, my brother, came in and was chuckling and said that there was a recorded BYU Education week episode that is Perfect for me! He wouldn't tell me what it was, he just told me I needed to watch it. I didn't know what to expect, it was Riley telling me and he was chuckling. I figured it was from BYU television, so it wouldn't be bad, but what would be "perfect" for me? Interest was peeked, so I headed into the front room to watch it.
The address was given by Brother Brent Barlow in 2006. It's titled "For LDS Single Adults: Choosing a Marriage Partner" It was AWESOME in it's entirety, but there was one funny quote he gave that just applies so well to acting (on faith) while dating. And since dating is going to be a part of finding my ore, I've decided to do more of it!
This is the quote: "God cannot steer a parked car."
God cannot steer a parked car!!! How funny again is it that my physical car is literally parked? Literally. When taking other forms of transportation, I have to physically walk far away, and sometimes run, to catch the bus/trax.
I've been continually prompted to act, so I'm going to try and ACT. If I want to do something on a Friday night and haven't been asked out yet, I'll do some askin'! I don't think I have said this in previous posts, the asking part (actually defining it as a date, not just "hanging out" part) is out of my comfort zone. I'm thinkin' though... I'm gonna have fun! Maybe all I need is practice. Practice does make perfect I hear. wink.
I am going to be stepping in the dark right now. I do know that the light will come as I'm taking the first step, after I've taken a few steps, or after I've stood in the dark feeling around for a little bit. I know it will come though. I just need to step.
Funny little side note that just popped in my head: The type of mining I picture is the "back in the day" mining. Before they had a lot of the technology they have now. It was really dark when a person started mining. Not until after experience were there lights placed. The mountain then became lit up enough to find what they were looking for.
I don't want to be the type of miner that just blows up the mountain to find what I'm looking for. I want to experience finding my way in the dark a little bit and have faith in the placement of the light(s) to find exactly what I'm looking for. Ok, not "exactly", but "close enough". (read "Fanny's Dream", by Caralyn and Mark Buehner).
That was a fun little side note and I will be thinking about that a lot more...
Anywho.
There is the coolest opportunity to help me with the "stepping in the dating dark". The Desert News here in Utah has a website called MormonTimes.com They just sent an email out through the Institute that they are looking for 20 something year old to write a weekly dating blog. Hello! I'm doing that right now! How cool is that?!
It's a contest to start out with. There will be "advancing" to the next round. The deadline for entries is Feb 26 and the winner will be announced April 30. What's in it for the winner you ask?: "She or he will get thousands of readers with a permanent columnist spot on our Web site, as well as a bit of dating money for each weekly blog. Still not enough? She or he will also be awarded with a weekly deadline!"
Yet another adventure to help me grow! Who knows what will happen, but I know I'll have fun! Wish me luck! Ok, and maybe a few prayers won't hurt either. *grin*
Love,
Me
There has been a lot of personal revelation recently regarding my faith. Where I need strengthening, realizing that I need to take some steps into the dark, knowing that my Heavenly Father will give the further light. I really want to understand, aka "try", the part of Faith that makes it an action word.
It's really funny, I just got home from work at 12:15am and I was in my room. Riley, my brother, came in and was chuckling and said that there was a recorded BYU Education week episode that is Perfect for me! He wouldn't tell me what it was, he just told me I needed to watch it. I didn't know what to expect, it was Riley telling me and he was chuckling. I figured it was from BYU television, so it wouldn't be bad, but what would be "perfect" for me? Interest was peeked, so I headed into the front room to watch it.
The address was given by Brother Brent Barlow in 2006. It's titled "For LDS Single Adults: Choosing a Marriage Partner" It was AWESOME in it's entirety, but there was one funny quote he gave that just applies so well to acting (on faith) while dating. And since dating is going to be a part of finding my ore, I've decided to do more of it!
This is the quote: "God cannot steer a parked car."
God cannot steer a parked car!!! How funny again is it that my physical car is literally parked? Literally. When taking other forms of transportation, I have to physically walk far away, and sometimes run, to catch the bus/trax.
I've been continually prompted to act, so I'm going to try and ACT. If I want to do something on a Friday night and haven't been asked out yet, I'll do some askin'! I don't think I have said this in previous posts, the asking part (actually defining it as a date, not just "hanging out" part) is out of my comfort zone. I'm thinkin' though... I'm gonna have fun! Maybe all I need is practice. Practice does make perfect I hear. wink.
I am going to be stepping in the dark right now. I do know that the light will come as I'm taking the first step, after I've taken a few steps, or after I've stood in the dark feeling around for a little bit. I know it will come though. I just need to step.
Funny little side note that just popped in my head: The type of mining I picture is the "back in the day" mining. Before they had a lot of the technology they have now. It was really dark when a person started mining. Not until after experience were there lights placed. The mountain then became lit up enough to find what they were looking for.
I don't want to be the type of miner that just blows up the mountain to find what I'm looking for. I want to experience finding my way in the dark a little bit and have faith in the placement of the light(s) to find exactly what I'm looking for. Ok, not "exactly", but "close enough". (read "Fanny's Dream", by Caralyn and Mark Buehner).
That was a fun little side note and I will be thinking about that a lot more...
Anywho.
There is the coolest opportunity to help me with the "stepping in the dating dark". The Desert News here in Utah has a website called MormonTimes.com They just sent an email out through the Institute that they are looking for 20 something year old to write a weekly dating blog. Hello! I'm doing that right now! How cool is that?!
It's a contest to start out with. There will be "advancing" to the next round. The deadline for entries is Feb 26 and the winner will be announced April 30. What's in it for the winner you ask?: "She or he will get thousands of readers with a permanent columnist spot on our Web site, as well as a bit of dating money for each weekly blog. Still not enough? She or he will also be awarded with a weekly deadline!"
Yet another adventure to help me grow! Who knows what will happen, but I know I'll have fun! Wish me luck! Ok, and maybe a few prayers won't hurt either. *grin*
Love,
Me
Sunday, January 31, 2010
A bit of learning
Since my last post a bit has happened on both fronts of "being" and "finding". Let me essplain.
Ok, back to what I was getting to. I came across a verse of scripture that hit me in regards to where I want to be in life. Here goes...
2 Ne. 26:31
31 But the laborer in Zion shall labor for Zion; for if they labor for money they shall perish.
31 But the laborer in Zion shall labor for Zion; for if they labor for money they shall perish.
My though process: I have debt that I really REALLY want to be paid off!!! I've recently realized that it could be a lot worse, but it still causes me stress, and I don't like it. I want to be financially successful, I want to be able to start a business if I want to without the worry of debt deterring me. I would prefer not having to live paycheck to paycheck which is what I've been doing since moving back to Salt Lake in the summer of '08. In 2009, I made almost 1/2 as much as I made in 2007 working full time in Tucson. Now I know why 2009 seemed a little harder than the year before. It was!
I am plugging right here, right now though: TITHING! 10%, that's how I survived last year. I had shelter over my head, food to eat, and my bills got paid. I know it's because the Lord blesses those who have done what He's asked. I went without a lot of wants, but hey, looking back now, I can't complain. I think I'm a better person for it. I've perfected my pasta sauce, tortillas, and wheat bread recipes because of it. Oh yeah, and I had multiple, Multiple, MULTIPLE experiences in being humbled. It was hard! I've realized though, what in life that is worth anything isn't hard? I still would prefer not being poor, just to clarify. haha.
My thought on the scripture verse though went something like this... "Wow, I really do think a lot about money!" I think about what I have to buy, what I can't buy, what bills I need to pay, what bills I can't pay right away, and how I can get more money.
So I ask(ed) myself, am I laboring for money or am I laboring for Zion?
I was looking up some scriptures on the subject of laboring and found this to be very applicable too:
2 Ne. 9: 51
51 Wherefore, do not spend money for that which is of no worth, nor your labor for that which cannot satisfy. Hearken diligently unto me, and remember the words which I have spoken; and come unto the Holy One of Israel, and feast upon that which perisheth not, neither can be corrupted, and let your soul delight in fatness.
51 Wherefore, do not spend money for that which is of no worth, nor your labor for that which cannot satisfy. Hearken diligently unto me, and remember the words which I have spoken; and come unto the Holy One of Israel, and feast upon that which perisheth not, neither can be corrupted, and let your soul delight in fatness.
Zion! Zion is what I want to be laboring for! I don't want to be "spending" for that which is of no worth, nor laboring for that which cannot satisfy. I want to be pure in heart, I want to help build a place where the pure in heart can live, I want to be one heart and one mind with the Lord.
I have a long way to go, but I can see the path ahead of me. I know that by following the Holy One of Israel and feasting upon His Word, His Work, and His Glory that my soul will delight in fatness! Yay for fatness! I'm not sure I ever thought I would say that. ;) Seriously though, I'm so glad the path is in view!
Now onto "Finding": Over the last two months, I've had a desire to ADVENTURE! By adventure I mean, try new things that I haven't done before, things physically, mentally, and spiritually. These things may be out of my comfort zone, but I'm challenging myself to do them anyway. I want to experience life, live it, love it and find JOY in every aspect of it!
I totally took ballroom dance lessons! I let people in my bubble of physical comfort! There was also a mental thing I had to overcome with trying something new in front of people, but that's another post. Those of you who don't know me that well (or at all) need to understand that I don't like people touching me. We'll have to delve into the psychological reasons for this later, but I think it might have something to do with a certain sister who will remain nameless who would always pinch me. You know who you are! haha. I did however learn... I actually don't have of a problem with it like I thought I did. I'm thinking I just don't like people coming up to me and pinching me. So, folks no pinching!
I've decided to go on what I like to call Temple Adventures! I have a goal to go to every Temple in Utah and do an Endowment Session. Starting from the newest to the oldest. There are 13 Temples so it will take 6 1/2 months with me going every two weeks. So far, the Oquirrh Mountain and Draper Temples can be checked off the list. This weekend I'll be going to Vernal! I'm soooo excited! I LOVE the Temple!!! I find such peace in the Temple and have an insight there that I don't have anywhere else. With this whole "findin' my ore" adventure I'll be needing extra insight and peace. I can't knock trax though, revelation keeps coming there too. lol.
I've heard insanity defined as doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results. So I've decided that if what I was doing before wasn't working in findin' my ore, that I would do something different so I wouldn't go insane.
I like a guy. I'm thinking I'm looking for the right type of ore. He's a good guy. His smile makes me smile! He's smart, he's nice, he does his home teaching and goes to the Temple regularly. We'll see if my pursuing actually yields any return. The more metal in the ore, the easier it is to find ya know. It shines! And boy do I like shiny things! I'm going to try something different this time and go after the shiny things instead of waiting for the shiny things to find me.
I'll let ya know how it goes. *wink* *wink*
Now onto "Finding": Over the last two months, I've had a desire to ADVENTURE! By adventure I mean, try new things that I haven't done before, things physically, mentally, and spiritually. These things may be out of my comfort zone, but I'm challenging myself to do them anyway. I want to experience life, live it, love it and find JOY in every aspect of it!
I totally took ballroom dance lessons! I let people in my bubble of physical comfort! There was also a mental thing I had to overcome with trying something new in front of people, but that's another post. Those of you who don't know me that well (or at all) need to understand that I don't like people touching me. We'll have to delve into the psychological reasons for this later, but I think it might have something to do with a certain sister who will remain nameless who would always pinch me. You know who you are! haha. I did however learn... I actually don't have of a problem with it like I thought I did. I'm thinking I just don't like people coming up to me and pinching me. So, folks no pinching!
I've decided to go on what I like to call Temple Adventures! I have a goal to go to every Temple in Utah and do an Endowment Session. Starting from the newest to the oldest. There are 13 Temples so it will take 6 1/2 months with me going every two weeks. So far, the Oquirrh Mountain and Draper Temples can be checked off the list. This weekend I'll be going to Vernal! I'm soooo excited! I LOVE the Temple!!! I find such peace in the Temple and have an insight there that I don't have anywhere else. With this whole "findin' my ore" adventure I'll be needing extra insight and peace. I can't knock trax though, revelation keeps coming there too. lol.
I've heard insanity defined as doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results. So I've decided that if what I was doing before wasn't working in findin' my ore, that I would do something different so I wouldn't go insane.
I like a guy. I'm thinking I'm looking for the right type of ore. He's a good guy. His smile makes me smile! He's smart, he's nice, he does his home teaching and goes to the Temple regularly. We'll see if my pursuing actually yields any return. The more metal in the ore, the easier it is to find ya know. It shines! And boy do I like shiny things! I'm going to try something different this time and go after the shiny things instead of waiting for the shiny things to find me.
I'll let ya know how it goes. *wink* *wink*
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Clarification
So I re read my post and realized I sound a little more crazy than I really am. Don't get me wrong, I do want to be married, but it's not ALL I think about. I have work and a career to figure out too, but Marriage is a more interesting subject in my life right now. With that cleared up, now LET THE ADVENTURE BEGIN :) haha
Explanation of Findin' My Ore
Let me first introduce myself and the craziness that is Sarah:
(and since this is the first post, it's gonna be a little long since I have to explain what I'm doing here)
I am 27, I love to cook, craft, and converse. I am the youngest of four with two older brothers and an older sister and a mom who loves us enough to put up with us all. I LOVE my family! Yes, we are odd, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I have three nephews and 2 nieces who I ADORE! Seeing these kids grow up is one of the most amazing and sweet experiences of my life. I just wished we all lived a little closer!
I was raised in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, but because of my own lack of testimony and understanding I didn't fully live up to the standards of the Gospel until my early 20's. The time when I made the decision to LIVE the Gospel of Jesus Christ was an "ah ha" moment. I knew that it wasn't a decision that I would have to make just the once, but a decision that I would have to continually make each and every day. I have never known such happiness since I made that decision to strive to be better!
So onto why this blog was created:
I was sitting on the Trax reading The Book of Mormon on my way home from work last week and a few versus of scripture stood out to me. So I re read them and while I was re reading them, the impression of the need to apply them in my life and the how that can be accomplished came to my mind. (This blog is going to open the can of worms which is Sarah and her thought processes, so if ya don't want to be traumatized by that, I recommend you stop reading here) *grin*
Ok, I need to back up. I want to let you in on where my thoughts are, have been, and are going. Simple fact about Sarah: I want to be a wife and a mother more than you can possibly comprehend. Over the last year and a half since I moved back up to Salt Lake I have had sooooo many amazing experiences which have helped me to understand a little more on how I can prepare to be a better wife and mother and I've been blessed to have learned a little of why this blessing hasn't come into my life yet.
I truly believe in the Lord's timing and the fact that He can see the BIG picture and has a complete understanding of ALL. He knows me and He knows what's best for me. He also knows how I learn and how I can apply His teachings into my life.
Hence the experience on the Trax while reading my scriptures. I started over at the beginning of the year in 1Nephi. I was in chapter 17 and while reading versus 7-10 I starting receiving the impressions that follow after the scriptures below. I didn't think about it to much that night, but was able to go to the Salt Lake Temple the next day and I re read the scriptures and thought about them during my time there. This is what they say:
7 And it came to pass that after I, Nephi, had been in the land of Bountiful for the space of many days, the voice of the Lord came unto me , saying: Arise, and get thee into the mountain. And it came to pass that I arose and went up into the mountain, and cried unto the Lord.
8 And it came to pass that the Lord spake unto me, saying: Thou shalt construct a ship, after the manner which I shall show thee, that I may carry thy people across these waters.
9 And I said: Lord, whither shall I go that I may find ore to molten, that I may make tools, to construct the ship after the manner which though hast shown unto me?
10 And it came to pass that the Lord told me whither I should go to find ore, that I might make tools.
The Spirit prompted this thinking:
Mountain = House of the Lord
Ship = Eternal Family
Ore = Eternal Companion
Tools = Children
After having more than a week to think about this and talking to a few close friends about it, my thinking has slightly changed. At first I thought it was literal, well ok, kinda literal.
Lord, where can I find my Ore?
What mountain will I find the Ore in?
Where is the Ore?
Who is the Ore?
What do I need to extract the Ore?
The insight I got last night though has shifted my thinking of not only finding the ore, but how I can be better prepared for when the ore is to be found.
Am I in a place in my life where if the Lord asked me to get into the mountain, I would?
Am I listening for the Lord?
Am I taking action and going into the mountain?
Am I praying and calling on the Lord for His guidance?
Am I prepared to "construct" a ship in the manner which He has shown me through His scriptures and Prophets?
Pretty interesting huh? This blog will be an insight to my spiritual journey that encompasses learning from these versus of scripture and the mental and physical actions that I need to take to to FIND the Ore.
I'm hoping this is a fabulous adventure where I am a better person by going on it.
LET THE ADVENTURE BEGIN!
Love,
Me
p.s. this is an official disclaimer for Sarah's lack of proper use of grammar, punctuation, and any spelling mistakes. hehe
(and since this is the first post, it's gonna be a little long since I have to explain what I'm doing here)
I am 27, I love to cook, craft, and converse. I am the youngest of four with two older brothers and an older sister and a mom who loves us enough to put up with us all. I LOVE my family! Yes, we are odd, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I have three nephews and 2 nieces who I ADORE! Seeing these kids grow up is one of the most amazing and sweet experiences of my life. I just wished we all lived a little closer!
I was raised in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, but because of my own lack of testimony and understanding I didn't fully live up to the standards of the Gospel until my early 20's. The time when I made the decision to LIVE the Gospel of Jesus Christ was an "ah ha" moment. I knew that it wasn't a decision that I would have to make just the once, but a decision that I would have to continually make each and every day. I have never known such happiness since I made that decision to strive to be better!
So onto why this blog was created:
I was sitting on the Trax reading The Book of Mormon on my way home from work last week and a few versus of scripture stood out to me. So I re read them and while I was re reading them, the impression of the need to apply them in my life and the how that can be accomplished came to my mind. (This blog is going to open the can of worms which is Sarah and her thought processes, so if ya don't want to be traumatized by that, I recommend you stop reading here) *grin*
Ok, I need to back up. I want to let you in on where my thoughts are, have been, and are going. Simple fact about Sarah: I want to be a wife and a mother more than you can possibly comprehend. Over the last year and a half since I moved back up to Salt Lake I have had sooooo many amazing experiences which have helped me to understand a little more on how I can prepare to be a better wife and mother and I've been blessed to have learned a little of why this blessing hasn't come into my life yet.
I truly believe in the Lord's timing and the fact that He can see the BIG picture and has a complete understanding of ALL. He knows me and He knows what's best for me. He also knows how I learn and how I can apply His teachings into my life.
Hence the experience on the Trax while reading my scriptures. I started over at the beginning of the year in 1Nephi. I was in chapter 17 and while reading versus 7-10 I starting receiving the impressions that follow after the scriptures below. I didn't think about it to much that night, but was able to go to the Salt Lake Temple the next day and I re read the scriptures and thought about them during my time there. This is what they say:
7 And it came to pass that after I, Nephi, had been in the land of Bountiful for the space of many days, the voice of the Lord came unto me , saying: Arise, and get thee into the mountain. And it came to pass that I arose and went up into the mountain, and cried unto the Lord.
8 And it came to pass that the Lord spake unto me, saying: Thou shalt construct a ship, after the manner which I shall show thee, that I may carry thy people across these waters.
9 And I said: Lord, whither shall I go that I may find ore to molten, that I may make tools, to construct the ship after the manner which though hast shown unto me?
10 And it came to pass that the Lord told me whither I should go to find ore, that I might make tools.
The Spirit prompted this thinking:
Mountain = House of the Lord
Ship = Eternal Family
Ore = Eternal Companion
Tools = Children
After having more than a week to think about this and talking to a few close friends about it, my thinking has slightly changed. At first I thought it was literal, well ok, kinda literal.
Lord, where can I find my Ore?
What mountain will I find the Ore in?
Where is the Ore?
Who is the Ore?
What do I need to extract the Ore?
The insight I got last night though has shifted my thinking of not only finding the ore, but how I can be better prepared for when the ore is to be found.
Am I in a place in my life where if the Lord asked me to get into the mountain, I would?
Am I listening for the Lord?
Am I taking action and going into the mountain?
Am I praying and calling on the Lord for His guidance?
Am I prepared to "construct" a ship in the manner which He has shown me through His scriptures and Prophets?
Pretty interesting huh? This blog will be an insight to my spiritual journey that encompasses learning from these versus of scripture and the mental and physical actions that I need to take to to FIND the Ore.
I'm hoping this is a fabulous adventure where I am a better person by going on it.
LET THE ADVENTURE BEGIN!
Love,
Me
p.s. this is an official disclaimer for Sarah's lack of proper use of grammar, punctuation, and any spelling mistakes. hehe
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