Communication is Key!

All growing up, I remember my mom telling me that communication is key. She always told me that she believed the lack of communication was one of the reasons she and my dad got a divorce. I do think there is a difference between communicating and talking. Communicating is not only being able to get your thoughts across, but is being able to listen. This post, I'm focusing on the first. Being able to get your thoughts across.

Since my youth; which was a long, long time ago, I've known then that communication is key to a successful marriage. I didn't know or ever really think about what "communicating" was though.This last week however, was a really big eye opener on the subject in general, which I am truly thankful for! No worries, nothing spectacular happened, no big problems, fights, or arguments, that needed to be talked out... but I did have had a couple friends that I've talked to with on the subject recently which got me thinking about it. I also really feel that the Lord with His tender mercy, felt it was a good time to teach me on the subject. I like to think because it's a time in my life where I am willing to learn and want the lesson would stick. And stick it did.

I found myself asking the question, "am I, a good communicator?" And the answer to that, was a big negative, ghostwriter. Not to say, that I don't have my good days, but I recognize that there is a lot of room for improvement! I want to understand, the "how" to communicate just as much as the "why" it's important to be a good communicator.

Have you ever been around a little kid, who opts to use grunts, whines, and gestures instead of his words, to tell you what he wants? Have you ever been around, when a parent of that kid, tells them, "honey, use your words, I don't understand what that grunt means."? I really feel that teaching children how to communicate by using their words at an early age, gives them the best chance of being a good communicator as an adult. Because come on, we've all been around the adult who uses those same grunts, whines, and gestures too. I know that I don't always understand them, which can be frustrating.

I have also been around adults, who either, one, really confuse you because they start their sentence mid thought, or two, they don't know how to finish verbalizing their thought and it kinda trails off into a verbal black hole. I tend to fall into this way of communicating. It can get confusing because I start up or stop my sentence mid thought process because it seems I can't connect the words coming out of my mouth and my thoughts together. I really don't think it's because I don't know how, or that I can't. I just think it's because I've been "communicating" like that for so long, that I need to practice completing my thoughts instead of just blurting out my partial thoughts.

In the last year, since being back in Tucson, I have actually recognized this in myself and I really try to give the person I'm talking to, the complete picture of what I am thinking, instead of just a partial picture. It's been really interesting to see my communicating change. Again, there is still a lot of room for improvement. This might also be why eye contact is sometimes hard for me. I dunno.

I also give credit to my writing class for the way I've thought about this subject. It's only 2 weeks in, but I see the need to communicate complete thoughts, verbally and especially in writing. We don't know what people are thinking and feeling, we only know what we are thinking and feeling. We don't know what experiences they have had and what thoughts they are bringing to a conversation. I think it is up to each of us to communicate where our thoughts are, and what our experiences have been, to help bring us better understand each other.


I really feel when we learn to use our words to be able to express our feelings; happy, sad, frustrated, etc. We COMMUNICATE!

The end.

Oooh, oooh! Opinions and insights on this subject are completely welcome. I am in the learning zone for this one, and, any and all perspectives are welcome!