Communication is Key!

All growing up, I remember my mom telling me that communication is key. She always told me that she believed the lack of communication was one of the reasons she and my dad got a divorce. I do think there is a difference between communicating and talking. Communicating is not only being able to get your thoughts across, but is being able to listen. This post, I'm focusing on the first. Being able to get your thoughts across.

Since my youth; which was a long, long time ago, I've known then that communication is key to a successful marriage. I didn't know or ever really think about what "communicating" was though.This last week however, was a really big eye opener on the subject in general, which I am truly thankful for! No worries, nothing spectacular happened, no big problems, fights, or arguments, that needed to be talked out... but I did have had a couple friends that I've talked to with on the subject recently which got me thinking about it. I also really feel that the Lord with His tender mercy, felt it was a good time to teach me on the subject. I like to think because it's a time in my life where I am willing to learn and want the lesson would stick. And stick it did.

I found myself asking the question, "am I, a good communicator?" And the answer to that, was a big negative, ghostwriter. Not to say, that I don't have my good days, but I recognize that there is a lot of room for improvement! I want to understand, the "how" to communicate just as much as the "why" it's important to be a good communicator.

Have you ever been around a little kid, who opts to use grunts, whines, and gestures instead of his words, to tell you what he wants? Have you ever been around, when a parent of that kid, tells them, "honey, use your words, I don't understand what that grunt means."? I really feel that teaching children how to communicate by using their words at an early age, gives them the best chance of being a good communicator as an adult. Because come on, we've all been around the adult who uses those same grunts, whines, and gestures too. I know that I don't always understand them, which can be frustrating.

I have also been around adults, who either, one, really confuse you because they start their sentence mid thought, or two, they don't know how to finish verbalizing their thought and it kinda trails off into a verbal black hole. I tend to fall into this way of communicating. It can get confusing because I start up or stop my sentence mid thought process because it seems I can't connect the words coming out of my mouth and my thoughts together. I really don't think it's because I don't know how, or that I can't. I just think it's because I've been "communicating" like that for so long, that I need to practice completing my thoughts instead of just blurting out my partial thoughts.

In the last year, since being back in Tucson, I have actually recognized this in myself and I really try to give the person I'm talking to, the complete picture of what I am thinking, instead of just a partial picture. It's been really interesting to see my communicating change. Again, there is still a lot of room for improvement. This might also be why eye contact is sometimes hard for me. I dunno.

I also give credit to my writing class for the way I've thought about this subject. It's only 2 weeks in, but I see the need to communicate complete thoughts, verbally and especially in writing. We don't know what people are thinking and feeling, we only know what we are thinking and feeling. We don't know what experiences they have had and what thoughts they are bringing to a conversation. I think it is up to each of us to communicate where our thoughts are, and what our experiences have been, to help bring us better understand each other.


I really feel when we learn to use our words to be able to express our feelings; happy, sad, frustrated, etc. We COMMUNICATE!

The end.

Oooh, oooh! Opinions and insights on this subject are completely welcome. I am in the learning zone for this one, and, any and all perspectives are welcome!


  

Today was a we bit rough, but ended on a good note!

And by a we bit rough, let's just say, I actually wanted to physically punch a kid in my math class. Seriously. No joke.I can honestly tell you that, I have not wanted to punch someone since, I don't know, my senior year in high school? I can still remember my emotions that day, two guys being dumb in English and were just being not nice. So, what, 11 almost 12 years ago was my last desire to physically harm? I don't think that's to shabby.

I did however realize today, that I DON"T WANT TO HAVE THAT DESIRE, EVER AGAIN!

I had a slight "road rage" thought cross my mind (which was not a very nice thought) when I had to wait for a car to turn before I could on my way home... I do recognize that it happened only a few minutes after math class was over, but still, no excuse. Which made it hard to deal with coming home to some of my dishes being written on with permanent marker... which irked me some more... along with coming home to a house that smelled like fish! Yucky. Don't get me wrong, I like fish, I just don't like the lingering smell in my house after it's been cooked.

I, somehow let things keep getting to me, and getting to me. I just kept getting madder and madder. And then it happened. I started to complain on facebook about today being a patience trying kind of day, and the realization hit me! I totally have been praying for an increase of patience! And boy oh boy, today was a day of learning.

I all of the sudden, didn't feel mad anymore. I reflected on my own stupidity of getting so mad over such small, insignificant events, that I said a prayer and asked Heavenly Father to forgive me. I also asked that I would be able to forgive the kid that offended me in Math (not a big deal, he was just a huge disruption towards the end of class, and very disrespectful to the teacher and the rest of the class, who wanted to be there), I was trying to remind myself too, that he is only a "kid", and has his own learning and life experiences to go through.


I also had the chance today to edit the first few cooking videos for my other blog and got to show Jakob, my nephew how to do it too. I love that he loves this stuff! He always asks questions and wants to learn as much as he can! I am by no means an expert, I don't know any of the technical terms, and my videos are a little choppy, but still. I'm glad he see's me trying something new. I really love spending time with him! He is like a little brother actually.

I don't know how to explain it, but sometimes, I feel like we are the same age. Not on a maturity, immaturity level, but on a kind of, spiritual level. I feel, like we were friends in the pre-existence, I just happened to come down to earth and received my body first. It's really weird, but we are totally kindred spirits, who also know how to bug the bejeebies out of each other.

Today wasn't one of those days of bugging each other though. He got to sit, do his homework and watch me edit while chiming in his two sense. He also got to make videos on my camera of himself. He really is quite the little actor and artist! I am not kidding! Maybe, if I get his mom's permission, I'll post a video of him on here, if not a video of him, maybe I'll post one of his Lego Star Wars movies or his Finger Man, Stick Man movies that he acts and stars in. haha.

I did however, loose total sense of time and was 45minutes late to my night class at Pima. hehe. Time flies when you are having fun! I went to class, which is a intro to business, type class, and realized that... maybe business isn't for me. I love to learn, don't get me wrong, but I don't know if this is a subject that I could ever love enough to pursue as a career? Time will tell, I'll hopefully have a better idea by the time the semester is over, so keep an eye out for a possible career goal change in the future. lol.

I then came home, Cake (Jakob) is spending the night, so we got to talk some more. He was reading a book while I was converting my videos into the right format to upload them to youtube.

And that's how my day turned from a, bit rough, to ending on a good note. I've been humbled, I've had the chance to increase my patience, and charity towards myself and my brothers and sisters. My new blog is doing great and I uploaded my first videos! School is great, I am learning tons! Life in general is GREAT! I'm learning a few new lessons, you know, the one where you recognize it is your own attitude that makes the difference and the lesson, where you can see that by not showing love and charity towards those around you, that satan can get in, and disrupt your day. You know, another lesson, where you learn to rely on your Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, because you know that they are your best teachers, and you can become the best you, by abiding by Their teachings... who could ask for anything more?

Kitchens = Peace. Comfort. Creativity. And Love!

This week, school started! hehe! My art class was first (which I was super excited about and still am, even though I spent more mulah on art supplies than I expected), and it was also the first homework assignment I finished.

The first assignment was to choose a location, explain what I see, and how I feel in it. The location needed to be somewhere that expresses who I am and be somewhere that for you, the reader, allows you to experience being there from my view. The first "place" that popped in my head, was... the kitchen! Of course. lol. I don't think anyone who knows me at all would be surprised about that one.

I wanted to share my first completed assignment with ya'll. So, that you know, I am in LOVE in the kitchen and what that all encompasses. You may think it's weird, and I'm okay with that. haha.

Here ya go...

Hi. My name is Sarah and I am a kitchen addict. Not just addicted to my own kitchen either, most kitchens will do, well almost. I do need order and cleanliness to function at my fullest. When those things are in place, I find peace, comfort, and creativity there. I experience my thoughts deepen on many subjects while I am working in the kitchen. I also feel I can express a part of my love through my sacrifice of time; not only in the time preparing the meal, but in the time I take in learning and improving my skill. I am also able to express myself with the décor, food choices, and flavors that I choose to work with.

I truly love that, in a kitchen, there are colors everywhere! From the containers my foods are stored and cooked in, to what the foods are plated and presented on, to a beautiful rainbow of color in the food itself. It is my goal, to not only make the meal delicious, by using the right combination of flavors, but to make it just as delicious visually; Which is how I feel we truly “taste” anyway, by using all of our senses. I try to keep things interesting too, by using a combination of colors, shapes, sizes, and textures in all aspects of the kitchen.

Picture this… Bright red, imperfectly, diced tomatoes, slices of vibrant yellow and orange peppers. Dramatic green; fragrant basil, shredded Parmesan cheese, that not only adds the right flavor, but adds the right texture, for the taste buds and visually. Combine all of that color and texture together with some fresh cooked linguine, a few pinches of deep, dark, spicy crushed red pepper, a dash of pure, white, sea salt, and a drizzle of beautiful, rich green olive oil in a beautiful handmade saffron colored bowl… Oh the goodness that is in that dish!

So, yeah, I guess, that is the reason why I am a kitchen addict. I love to use all of my senses, so I am a "sensible" person you see. 

Wasn't that fun?! Now, let's just hope I interpreted the assignment correctly and my professor likes it! *grin*

p.s. because of the subject matter, I am also posting this on my food blog. A little different wording in the beginning, but all and all the same ;)

I'm a Mormon...

I created my Mormon.org profile! Click here if you wanna check it out *grin*

Yay!

There is this guy...

This guy, I could easily like. Here is hoping if he's interested in getting to know me, he'll take me out again. If not, I'm going to try and not worry about us being anything more than friends.

Interest peeked? haha

A few weeks ago, I got a chance to go out to dinner again with BD Tyler, this time, it was a date. lol. No question about that one. I did the asking, planning, and paying. Well, I paid for dinner, he picked up the tab for the dessert ;) It was nice. I'm really comfortable around him, I enjoy his company and his chillaxed attitude, and he is pretty freaking cute, the hazel eyes are pretty hot, I'm not gonna lie. I find that I talked a lot more than he did though. But I do talk more than most people, so I wasn't that surprised. lol. I did also get that end of date hug that night *wink*

He is who I wanted to try my really good date idea on, but he was out of town and working, so it hasn't happened yet. We did however go out with Tyler and Gina yesterday, and adventured! (I'll now try to call BD Tyler, just Tyler and T & G will be Tyler & Gina.) We planned it at the last dinner, so I'm not sure if we should count it as a "third date", but why not. 

We went on a picnic lunch in Madera Canyon, just south of Tucson. I gots to show off my, mad potato salad making and picnicing skills, haha. Mad skills worked, he thought it was tasty. And then we headed to Tubac, AZ. We hit up historic church grounds built in the 1800's (which had the big church intact... well, semi intact, but we got to tour it still), and then to a little shopping area with some fun little shops. Thankfully my clumsiness was at a minimum, I only knocked one thing on the floor from a store, not breaking it, but my sunglasses did fall like three or four times! lol.

I've also learned a lesson. When going to a town during the "off" season of tourism, and a town whose residents are all retired, plan on being there a little early, everything was closed by 3 or 4! We did however get to see a fun shop that had hand made tiles, and wood and metal sculptures, along with a herbalist shop (fyi: dried red raspberry, smells like cut grass, but oh momma, the herbs in that store can work some miracles, and the ear wax cones you can light on fire to draw wax out, got us to laugh. Mainly because a wife tried to convince her husband to use them and he kept adamantly saying, "NO!" :) and finally a fun kitchen gadget store.

I don't think Tyler knew there were that many things made just for the kitchen, but T & G and I were in heaven. It's just fun to see all the things that are out there and it was fun to see Tyler playing with the kitchen gadgets. I am very much a kitchen geek (Scott, will you define geek for me in a comment? Pleeeeease.), so I thought it was cute. We also went to the Almada Territory Steakhouse for dinner. Pretty tasty, to see my full review, check my food blog next week, another shameless plug, plancooktaste.blogspot.com under the tab Restaurant Reviews.

Tyler and I, talked a lot more and got to know each other better. It's always fun to see people out in the "real" world kind of atmosphere, where I think we were both more relaxed. I also love going to places that help deepen already good conversation. Like museums and art galleries. I had a really good day, I enjoyed the good company and good conversation. I tried to not be a clingy girl and also enjoyed my time with my other friends. I don't know how interested he is, or if he is at all, but it would be nice to keep getting to know him. There is an over 25 Family Home Evening this Monday night that I invited him to come to. We'll see if he does.

I'll end the post with what I started it with. This guy, I could easily like. Here is hoping if he's interested in getting to know me, he'll take me out again. If not, I'm going to try and not worry about us being anything more than friends.

Am I a Mary? Or a Martha?

I am, a we bit, O.C.D., about being efficient. OK, not a we bit, but A LOT a bit! Can this hurt me in the long run I ask you?!

The thought of, am I a Mary, or a Martha, crossed my mind tonight on my way home from a ward service project at the church cannery. We were packaging and labeling food for the city food bank, which by the way, is one of my favorite places to serve. Hence the reason I try to be as efficient as possible while working/serving, because it has the possibility of helping even more people. I wondered if I was missing out on the chance to better serve the people that are directly around me or was I missing out on my own spiritual growth opportunity because I was moving so fast? (not literally, metaphorically :)

On the same lines of moving fast, I have reflected on the past when I am helping to organize, set up, or break down any kind of event (church activities, big dinners, wedding receptions and social parties), that I might be missing out on opportunities to socialize, or to enjoy the spirit that is there. Am I so focused on being efficient and getting things done, that I miss out on something?

I do try to socialize as I work... well, sometimes I do. haha. And, yes, I am that annoying person, that when no one else will take the "I'm in charge role", I will. Which entails me moving around doing a little of everything. If you have ever heard of the "Color Code", I am pretty equal red and blue with almost no white or yellow. I love being efficient, but I love people too *grin*

It's funny, I'm trying to be more of a fly by the seat of my pants kinda girl. It doesn't always work though. It's like I'm going against my own mind. I need order, which I don't think is a bad thing. It's when I can see only my way as the right way that there is a problem, but I am getting better at seeing other peoples ways too. (good thing right? That will come in handy when I am married! or so I hear) I'm trying to see other people's perspective of order. We don't all think the same, which is something I am really, REALLY thankful for! Imagine if everyone was like me or you. It would get kinda boring, huh? How would we learn if we didn't have different perspectives and life experiences?

Well, back to Mary or Martha. I am starting to believe that there is a time and a place for my O.C.D., in this case, my Martha. I just need to be more aware and listen for the Holy Ghost to guide me. Maybe, one event, I will be prompted to help get things organized or help for a quick clean up. Then, maybe another time, I'll be prompted to go and talk to, so and so, or to slow down and appreciate my surroundings and be like Mary.

Lesson learning in progress: Listen to the promptings of the Holy Ghost in ALL things, but also be conscious of my surroundings and what I can do too. If someone is standing alone, stop what I'm doing and go and talk to them, or invite them to join in and help. In a service setting, such as the food bank or cannery assignments, be okay with slowing down to get to know someone and enjoy their conversation. It's one of those things that sounds so simple, but the application of it isn't always so. Isn't that life though?


The story of Mary and Martha that I am referring to is in Luke 10:38-42 or click here for the KJV Luke 10

New Tabs Yo!

I am playing with blogger and getting to know how it works a little bit more with my food blog, shameless plug, plancooktaste.blogspot.com, and have decided to implement a few new pages to this here blog. Keep an eye out for more pages, you can find my new, Quotes, tab under the blog title. hehe. This is fun!