Ore Finding… Update time.
Surprise, surprise! Since I have been here in Tucson, going on 4 months now, I haven’t been on a single date. Not a one. I’m not saying that I haven’t met some nice guys, but they have not taken the opportunity to ask this amazing girl out. Ok, Ok, I didn’t ask them out either. Pish Posh. Maybe I am not the kind of girl who really wants to do the asking anyway. All talk and no game. Well sorta.
I just realized that I don’t mind asking the guy out after I’ve gotten to know him. So maybe those nice guys I have met recently will be in future posts since I still need time to get to know them. I’ve also come to the conclusion that flirting is SO not my thing! Notice the exclamation point? So maybe the nice guys haven’t asked said amazing girl out because they didn’t know she was interested either? Either way, here is hoping for future blog worthy dates.
Flirting is something new to work on I guess, another chance to get out of my comfort zone. Gotta love those chances for growth, who would have guessed that flirting would be one of those areas I needed to grow in? Well, besides the fact that I will be 29 in less than 3 months and am still single. I should have accepted the fact of being bad at flirting waaaaaaay sooner! Haha. I’ll try, so don’t you worry I’ll let ya know when there are fun tales to tell with that lesson of growth in that area. Awkward flirting stories are always a good thing.
Anywho, since there are no current dating stories, dot. dot. dot. I’ll tell ya one I’ve been holding onto for awhile. *grin*
Ok… where to start? Where to start… I guess at the beginning will work.
I met Kent* back in the early fall of 2009. He’s a cute one. He’s really smart, funny, and I really easy to talk to. He has that cheesy sense of humor that’s really cute. More important than all of that is the fact that he is a good man. He is spiritually strong and a hard worker. He has a good job that he loves. One of the bad things about him though, was that when I met him he had a girlfriend. A girlfriend! I know I was sad too!
He not only had a girlfriend, but a girlfriend who looked and seemed completely different than me. When you see the girlfriend of a crush and you look a lot different from them, you really wonder if the crush could actually be attracted to you. Could I be his type?
So I tried to keep my crush on him at bay. It worked for awhile… Over the following months though, we talked and were able to get to know each other more. The crush at bay did work in the aspect that I didn’t flirt with him out right, which really wasn’t hard because again flirting is not my style.
It didn’t always work because come on folks; a cute, smart, funny, non married good Mormon boy is kind of hard not to crush on. So he got a little extra attention that only crushes get. Ya know, more talk time, extra smiles, homemade food (I had to show him my homemaking skills right?), help with some work when I could, and the general niceties that come with being my crush.
One of my favorite memories about him was that whenever we saw each other, I would always give him a “Hi *Kent!” with a big smile and he would always give me the same big smile and affectionate “Hi Sarah” right back.
And then it happened! What you may ask?
He and his girlfriend broke up!!! I’m not sure exactly when it happened, but I knew there was no need to hold the crushing back now! Woot! Woot! What should I do?! Ask him out or wait to be asked out? I opted to do the asking since by then, the crush had officially turned into a “like”. I liked the guy.
Side note about timing: I liked Hot Man at the same time. A bit confusing for me, but I wasn’t dating said Hot Man, so I figured it was a pretty good idea to get to know Kent* a little better since I really did have a crush on him first. Good idea right? Right.
It did take me a we bit of time to actually suggest we go out. It all worked out and a date we did go on. We decided on doing dinner the following week after he got off of work. Funny thing with him and work, I don’t know if he can or likes to juggle work and a social life, but I figured it was worth trying. I’m glad I did. He seemed he wanted to take me out just as much as I wanted him to take me out. So it was a win, win situation.
Long story about the where, but you’ll just have to be ok with the disappointment of me not telling you that story. Haha. We met up for dinner though after I got done with school and he got done with work (well, some work, he had to go back and finish up after our date which he hadn’t planned on when the date was originally made. It was sad, dinner couldn’t be that long). I figured we should make the best of it though since we usually didn’t see each other out of certain surroundings. We were both cooped up inside all day and as the fates allowed it was one of those amazing summer evenings so it was only obvious to go outside and enjoy eating on the patio.
I wasn’t nervous, I was so comfortable! I was comfortable with sitting next to him and him next to me, with the conversation we were having and the fact that when we made eye contact it was the kind of eye contact you don’t want to look away from. Eye contact is usually a tricky thing for me with guys, but not with him, he has such a warmth to his eyes and for lack of a better word, comfort to them. His dark brown eyes are so pretty. It felt like we had done this, dinner and talking, a million times before or could do it a million more. It was nice.
We sat and talked, and talked. I learned so many things about him that I didn’t know and am glad to know now. Our conversation made me laugh and it made me think. I love those conversations in general, but, Hello! It was actually with a guy I liked so it made it even better! We were able to talk about things going on in the world, things about ourselves, we talked about the Gospel. And ladies, he does his Home Teaching! That night confirmed his amazingness, his obsession with Apple, and his joke telling ability. *wink*
Well now you are wondering why Mr. Kent* hasn’t been spoken about before? Well, he was my secret, yet not so secret crush. Really this date was one of the sweet memories that you don’t want to share right away. It was one that I was holding out hope that things would happen and then… they didn’t. Read on.
After dinner was over, we had to split ways. Remember he had to go back to work and I didn’t want to make him late. We said our goodbyes and the super sad part was we actually departed WITHOUT a hug people! And it was awkward without that hug! Frown. He stood there and I stood there, and then I goodbye it before anything could even happen. The standard end of date hug for us Mormons is pivotal and by golly it would have been a good close to a really good evening. I had to go and let myself get in the way.
I’m an awkward girl if you didn’t know. I should try really hard not to be, but yet it is easier said than done. That’s a good goal though, try and not be awkward with guys you like. Even if it causes discomfort on your side a little bit. Weigh the pros and the cons. And I obviously wish we would have ended the evening differently, the fact that I am even writing this post tells you that I still like the guy. I just don’t know if he likes me. I am a state away now, so I guess I should get over it because we haven’t really talked much since. Sad day I know. I know, I know. The whole not talking much since probably means he doesn’t/didn’t like me the way I liked him, but a girl can still hope.
There are the “What if’s”, what if I had been more of a flirt before I left? What if we had had another great hug, yep, you read correctly “another” great hug prior to the date? (Details of said great hug can be obtained if you ask) I wonder sometimes if I could have found my ore and lost it. I don’t like having regrets, and I don’t think that you do either. I want to have the perspective to be able to learn from regret(s) and with Kent* specifically I’ve learned I should be trying a little harder. Getting out of my comfort zone a little bit more. End of date hugger, here I come *grin*.
I don’t see anything happening with Kent*, I would LOVE it if I were wrong! But even if I am not, he is a good man and I am glad I can call him a friend. I just hope if he ever reads this, it didn’t scare him to much. Haha.
Perk on Perspective! While writing this post, I came to realize, seeing the bigger picture, that dating would have been a stress creator over the past couple months. I don’t’ think it would have been something fun and carefree like I want it to be for a while. But as of now I am officially putting it out there men and friends of men (hint, hint ladies), I am ready for some datin’.
Hold out hope folks, my Ore will be found! He just might be in Arizona instead of Utah now.
*mean his name has been changed to protect the innocent.